Tag Archives: sure-at-first

Jessica Simpson Without Make-Up of the Day

Whoever told Jessica Simpson this was a good idea, needs to be fired….but at least she’s dressed like a Christmas present, which is only fitting because I hear when you unwrap her ass, it looks like sugarplums dancing in your head, smells and tastes like Christmas Dinner if it was blended and left in the sun for a week and has the constant discharge that has the color and consistency of eggnog….and I’d totally feast on this shit if given the opportunity cuz all I want for Christmas is to K-Fed her…. Pics via Fame

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Jessica Simpson Without Make-Up of the Day

All I want for Christmas is Lohan to Send Me a Text Message of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a bad santa. Let’s hope she doesn’t try to work for the make-a-wish foundation, or even to hit up all the homeless shelters or sick kid hospitals this Christmas for attention cuz she’s a bad fucking santa…. All I asked her for was to send me a couple nude pics and instead she just pretended I don’t exist, because in her world I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me on the inside when I sat by my phone while sugar plims danced in my head, waiting for a response, especially when I see these pictures of her so actively and passionately texting some other motherfucker who is proabbly more relevant than me, but I like to think she’s just doing it to mock me knowing she ignored me and driving that point home.

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All I want for Christmas is Lohan to Send Me a Text Message of the Day