As you guys know, I hate the Kardashians, especially Kim, but I do have a hard soft spot for Kendall Jenner because she’s obviously the only one worth looking at and is not a nasty fat a$$ porn star. Here she is at The 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival opening ceremony. Obciously, I’d rather see her in much less clothing, but since this is some bullsh%t event where celebrities go to feel important and loved, I guess it’s only appropriate for her to tone it down. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure we’ll get some beach pics soon.
Most of you guys don’t have a clue who this chick is, but according to her very low budget website , Playmate Nikki Leigh is a full time Golden Key Honor Society student at California State University. She has the remarkable body measurement with 34C bust, 26 waist and 32 hips and is extremely talented since she can hold a coffee in one hand and a ferret in the other. Oh that’s a dog! My bad, but honestly why can’t girls let their toy dogs walk on a leash and not carry them as fashion accessories? Anyway, I don’t want to be too hard on Nikki’s animal training methods since we may date in the near future, so I’ll tone it down. Call me.
Kate Moss is getting married this weekend, cuz that’s what people with STDs do when they find another person with STDs to settle down with. It’s the whole premise of the Meet People with Herpes website…cuz no one wants to deal with that embarrassment when it comes to fucking unprotected on the first date when drunk….but then again…this is Kate Moss and it has been public knowledge for a long time that she has unprotected sex with rockers who share needles and fuck groupies….it’s also public knowledge that she’s got a kid and has probably been down this wedding route before…and it’s also public knowledge that I think she’s great, even in her old dirty pussy age, and I’d love to get tonsil deep during an outbreak. True Story. I’d love to be at this wedding…Mountains of cocaine, orgies of models….I wonder why I wasn’t invited…oh right, cuz I’m a nobody…Yay me…fuck them, I’ll make my own model cocaine party, without models or cocaine, but a model cocaine party nevertheless… Either way, here is her pregnant or soon to be pregnant, provided they let people with HIV get pregnant assuming she has HIV ass. Pretty boring pics considering what we’re used to from Kate Moss….bitches always tone it down when marriage comes….
Ever since Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s boob on national television during the Super Bowl halftime show a few years ago, we’ve had to endure old, worn out white guys singing hits from the 70s while the rest of us went to get a refill on beer and nachos. This year, the Black Eyed Peas are performing. While they’re just as crappy and corny as the acts we’ve had to watch recently, they’re a step closer to the younger, urban acts we used to love. However, if you expect these 10 people to perform at any Super Bowls, you probably shouldn’t hold your breath.
Kanye, forever a showman, brings us another epic moment in his illustrious career, his first ever silent interview. Last night, at the opening for George Condo’s exhibit “Mental States” at the New Museum, we’d just asked the artist — who recently painted the covers for Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy — if there were another musician he’d consider designing album artwork for (“Jimi Hendrix, but he’s not around anymore”), when we were suddenly joined by Kanye himself. The newly humble rapper granted us a brief but thoughtful interview. Are you happy with the paintings George did of you? [Kanye nods head yes.] You are happy? [Nods head.] Would you make any changes if you were to do a self-portrait? [Shakes head no.] Are you mute tonight? [Nods head.] Do you want to do sign language? [Nods head. Pretends to sign, then shakes our hand and walks away.] Even in silence Ye still seems to come off a lil cocky, guess you can only ask him to tone it down but so much. Source
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