Tag Archives: tried-the-music

RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

Today, we lost a legend, and not I don’t mean Margaret Thatcher, I am talking about Aneette Funicello, the masturbation to a generation of kids who didn’t have access to porn, because porn just didn’t exist, and masturbating was reserved for doing secretly while your dead relatives watched to National Geographic or to babes in their bikinis in 1960s surf movies like Annette Funicello. She was also Mousketeer, chosen by Walt Disney, which means she probably had sex with him, although at 13, she was probably too old for him…and now at 70..like Roger Ebert, she’s too dead for me. But that doesn’t take away all the loads she made happen in her prime, and that is something we celebrate. RIP motherfucker.

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RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

Teen Mom Farrah’s Porn Announcement of the Day

I have never seen the Teen Mom show, but I think it is safe to say that the girls on it are trashy as fuck, that’s usually how teen mom’s operate, I mean classy teen girls who get pregnant get Plan B or abortions so that they can live on with their irresponsible lives. So hearing the news she had a sex tape this morning was hardly shocking, and when that news turned to it being an actual porno, I was equally not shocked, because porn is all about trashy girls, the kind of girl who would be a teen mom, all filled with daddy issues and damaged as fuck. Not to mention, She’s tried the music thing and that didn’t work out for her So the story is that she’s getting fucked by James Deen, in what is obviously her cry for attention, cuz she’s not a teen mom being exploited anymore and she needs the fame to continue cuz that shit is more addictive than heroin. Porn is mainstream, it won’t damage her career, partially cuz she doesn’t have a career, but I am sure it will make her baby proud, that is provided he doesn’t die in a bath or from neglect or when mommy decides to murder them off like that bitch in Flordia, as these trailer park families and their party slut mom’s often do. She’s garbage but her porn will probably be awesome. I’m going to work on getting exclusive footage of it, so stay tuned to the wholesome, well rounded mom, who will teach her kid the morals and values she needs to know…. It’s being put out by VIVID

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Teen Mom Farrah’s Porn Announcement of the Day