Natalie Portman is iconic to the virgin losers of the world…from Star Wars to Judaism…she’s an awkward maybe autistic 40 year old dudes dream…the kind of guy who jacks off to Star Wars…and who goes nutty over her Black Swan lesbian shit…cuz it’s juat too intense for them…who still like her at 40 and who see her legs on tv…because they still have tv…and the use the opportunity to put a fresh coat of sperm on their Natalie Portman statue made of sperm these dudes make…it’s a thing. The post Natalie Portman Legs for the Virgin Losers of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .
The Bachelor Nation knows that Colton Underwood is the next Bachelor , and fans have some questions and concerns. Chris Harrison has come forward to address at least some of those worries. He promises that fans will have a good time. He shares how the show plans to tackle Colton’s virginity — and how this season’s Fantasy Suites will be very special. At the New York premiere of A Simple Favor on Monday. September, 10, Chris Harrison told Entertainment Tonight about why they picked Colton. “No matter what we say, if we said Jason, if we said Blake, it doesn’t matter,” Chris admits. “There’s going to be backlash, that’s the way social media works these days.” In case you’re wondering why so many celebs keep saying problematic stuff, it’s that exact attitude and an inability to distinguish between trolls and actual feedback. “Colton’s going to be good TV, and that is the reason we chose him,” Chris explains bluntly. That sounds very honest. Chris then cracks a joke that will honestly sell more viewers on Colton than anything else: “He probably won’t have his shirt on after night one, so it’s going to be a good season.” Chris does admit that the fans aren’t sure if Colton is ready for marriage. And, as Chris says, “that’s the whole point of the show.” Looking for candidates for marriage is the whole point of The Bachelor franchise. Finding out if Colton is ready for it is the point of this season, we guess. “Maybe at the end of it, he’s not, and it’s a complete disaster,” Chris says. “That’s the way it goes, that’s life” Chris does address that the Fantasy Suite is going to be a little more intriguing since Colton has never banged before. “Well, this year, because I know he’s the Bachelor, I brought in props,” Chris jokes. His joke continues: “So there’s going to be a big presentation of what happens in the fantasy suite [with] 3D models.” That sounds painfully awkward. Fortunately, to make sure that we know (we hope) that this is a joke, Chris continues. “It really gets interesting,” Chris says. “And I’m going to bring my son in as well, who is a teenager, so I can knock out the talk.” If you haven’t had the talk with your teen yet, they already got it from their friends. But, again, Chris is joking. We hope. Chris does take a slightly more serious tone as he discusses the implications of Colton Underwood’s virginity. “No, but it’s part of the storyline, the fact that Colton’s a virgin, clearly,” Chris affirms. “How will the women react to that?” Chris asks rhetorically. “How is he going to handle that?” That’s a good question. And, of course, we already got a taste of that narrative after the episode aired in which Colton confessed to Becca. “It’s something that he’s obviously dealt with his entire life,” Chris reminds viewers. “And he got emotional about it.” Chris mentions how Colton spoke “about when he was in the NFL and having to fake it.” Actual locker room talk, for Colton, involved pretending that he’d had sexual experiences that he had not. “So, we are going to deal with that,” Chris says. “We’ll dive into that.” We’re sure that they will. So we suppose that Chris Harrison’s pitch for Colton’s season is: Come for the shirtless eye candy, stay for the virginity drama . Will it work? For the network, it’s a gamble. Especially if someone comes forward and claims that Colton has been lying about his virgin status. Fans have already been warned that Colton is a selfish jerk who may be more interested in fame than finding love or marriage. Some think that, after Arie, the network should have gone with the most trustworthy, non-controversial pick that they could. Others say that people are simply being unfair to Colton. We’ll all find out together. View Slideshow: Colton Underwood as The Bachelor: A Nation Reacts
Lesbian and terrible actress Kristen Stewart, who I’ve never found hot, interesting or exciting, which would make sense because lesbians are generally the worst, angry, bitter, women around….and I never really grasped her fame besides the obvious being on a franchise film that would have propelled anyone to super stardom…even if she was destined to work at the ice cream stand or as a dog walker…like other lesbians do….and even with her lesbian sex being with a VS model, so basic, like lesbians aren’t into women who are hot and objectifying themselves for men…that’s ANTI Lesbian…lesbians like each other for lesbian reasons we can’t understand…they don’t bang out the hot chick like the high school quarterback jock…you know….I guess just more of Kristen Stewart bad acting… Well, apparently, this is her pussy lip slipping out of shorts…I can’t see it, but I’ve had sex before so my virgin loser pervert vision isn’t as sharp as it should be… I’ll just post it for you all to figure out… The post Kristen Stewart’s Rumored Pussy Lip Slip of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .
A never before seen Madonna letter is going up for auction, and it’s sure to cause outrage… if not a riot. The “Like a Virgin” pop singer allegedly wrote the letter to actor John Enos around 1993. She talks about how she’s been in a “foul mood lately” and is “so uncomfortable in my own […]
Netflix Orders Carmen Sandiego Reboot WHERE. In. The. World. IS…Carmen Sandiego? WELL, after years on the run, everyone’s favorite globetrotting scammerista is BACK at it again. This time, on Netflix as the star of a nostalgia-fueled animated reboot that already has ’90s cartoon lovers in a tizzy. The 22-episode series, inspired by the wildly popular computer game, will reportedly star Gina Rodriguez ( Jane the Virgin ) as Carmen and explore her origins as a legendary international thief. Netflix’s Carmen Sandiego reboot premieres in 2019. Peep some Twitter reactions on the flip side. https://twitter.com/eloserbeth141/status/853300375629295616 https://twitter.com/paul_lander/status/854403078597951488 https://twitter.com/celena_pineda/status/853272950887374852 https://twitter.com/Karnythia/status/854528220502401024 https://twitter.com/SmoHawk/status/853308463623131138 https://twitter.com/DannyLaShep/status/854416476123430912 Netflix
Emma Watson is playing Belle in Beauty and the Beast in what I assume is the live action version of the classic Disney ruined tale as old as time….about a hot chick falling in love with a monster…before being rewarded for not being a superficial whore…by having him convert back into being a handsome Prince…or some shit…something we can assume most Sugar Babies can relate to, only they know the beast they are about to fuck is rich enough to be their prince / financeer before letting them get their grubby paws on them…because women have this amazing talent of not being superficial…they don’t care if you’re fat, or ugly, or unshowered or disgusting…as long as you’re rich…and if you don’t believe me, just take your disgusting ass no one in your hometown pays attention – and go to LA where the hub of sugar babies live…they will all be nice to you assuming that you’re rich…since everyone there is rich…and that alone is hilarious… I guess more importantly, it’s not about how a woman can fall in love with a monster who is actually a rich prince…it’s about beastiality…and the fact that some people can fuck animals because they are better than humans…and they just leave out the sequel or the scenes in the movie where she’s forced to fuck the animals in the barn to relive the passion she had with Beast before he converted back to human, you know the angry housewife fucking herself to pics of the monster….weird…right… The whole thing is just too insane for me to grasp, but LET our kids watch this shit…it won’t fuck them up at all… The post Emma Watson’s Beauty and the Beast of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Birgit Kos is a model I’ve never heard of, but I am in love with her, because sometimes these things happen, sometimes I revert to the virgin loser nerd you’d expect someone writing a bitter, hate-filled, angry website about models, celebrity bitches and society or humanity as a whole would be….you know the kind of guy who can watch a movie or photoshoot and think “I love her”…something I assume has happened to many of you….and by many of you I mean the one guy who still comes through the site….where my usual instinct of hating… So I have idea who BIRGIT is, but she’s apparently been modeling since 2010 and is zero famous, making you think almost untouched and pure but we know better…if she’s in NY doing NY things while looking like this…there are rich boyfriends in the picture…but I won’t let that get in the way of our LOVE she’s unaware of….nothing can come between that…except maybe the police..I guess…shes’ that good and worth it… Even if our love doesn’t materialize….I think she could be the next big thing…and not just because she’s got tits…but because she’s perfect. The post Birgit Kos is a Perfect Big Titty Model for Elle France of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .
Ready for a rundown of what took place on Jane the Virgin Season 2 Episode 18? Let’s do this, CW fans! On the latest installment of this fun drama, Jane and Xo faced the outcome of the bachelorette party. And it wasn’t pretty. Meanwhile, elsewhere during the hour, Michael babysat Mateo. How do you think that went? There’s a very fast and easy way to find out. Also, Rafael grew very upset when he witnessed Mateo do something for the first time… while Rogelio ended up in hot water at work… and a troublemaker went after Petra. Click on the video above to watch Jane the Virgin online and find out plenty more now.
By now, you’ve probably heard that Jessa Duggar has named her firstborn son Spurgeon Seewald . Spurgeon Seewald: What’s In a Name? Needless to say, the name is a bit odd, even by the standards of the Duggar family, which previously gave us such gems as Joy-Anna (not to be confused with her sister Johannah), Jinger, and Josh. (Okay, “Josh” isn’t a weird name, but Josh Duggar is a total freakshow.) Anyway, Jessa and husband Ben Seewald have explained why they chose the name Spurgeon , but some fans are still feeling mighty confused – and some of them are oddly pissed off. So here are some of the most memorable comments from around the web. Feel free to offer your own thoughts on the name, just remember that while his parents are fair game, it’s not cool to poke fun at an infant. View Slideshow: There are SO Many Duggars! Sadly, he’ll probably experience enough of that years from now. (Once his high school classmates realize he comes from a famously chaste family, you know “Spurgeon the Virgin” will haunt him until his wedding day.) Anyway, take it away, Internet jerks: “Good thing they homeschool cause that poor child. His nickname would be sperm germ or some psycho sh-t the kids these days come up with.” “Sounds like the name of a sea vegetable. Poor kid, he’s gonna be bullied.” “Good God. I’m starting to think these people pick ugly names for their kids to get attention. First Israel and now this. That poor child!!” “So sad, poor kid. Spurgeon Seewald, sounds like the name of Spongebob’s cousin!” Congratulations to the Seewald family! That being said, please do not use the nickname “Spurge”. Spurge is dirty slang for the male ejaculation (akin to splooge). Not trying to leave filth on this very clean page, but it does seem this particular audience would be in ignorance of that fact. That last comment resulted in an interesting conversation about which terms for male ejaculate are considered socially appropriate. Sigh. Good luck, kid. We’re just gonna call you Elliot, okay? View Slideshow: Jessa Duggar Baby Photos: Welcome #BabySeewald!
