Happy New Year! Especially if you’re among the maintenance crew members at Universal Studios Hollywood Orlando, where you will never again have to take to the murky waters of the Jaws ride to fix the perennially broken mechanical shark: The attraction honoring Steven Spielberg’s blockbuster closed for good on Monday. Revisit the experience in better — i.e. functioning — days with an epic new video. I don’t remember the ride ever being this theatrical. Guns? Explosions? Boat drivers who look like they honed their acts in Friday the 13th: The Musical ? I also haven’t set foot in that theme park in about 25 years, so you tell me. In any case, R.I.P., Bruce the Shark. You were a worthy adversary, at least when you worked. [via Inside the Magic ]
Not to be terribly negative at the start of the new year – because any year that gifted us the Fassboner had to be a pretty good year, amirite? – but there were a handful of recurring trends in the movies of 2011 that could stand a rest as we charge ahead through 2012. First let’s list the good ones, the motifs in otherwise disparate films, from a wide range of filmmakers indie and studio-backed, new and established, that were actually kind of awesome to marinate in this past year. (Goslingmania comin’ atcha!) THE BEST MOVIE TRENDS OF 2011 Cars that go vroom ( Drive , Fast Five , Drive Angry , Senna , Cars 2 , Bellflower ) 2011 was a great year for gearheads – hell, Fast Five pretty much made the year, and it came out way back in April. Even if you can’t tell a tire iron from a lugnut, the cars of 2011 were pretty damn exciting to watch; look no further than the quivering mass of mechanical muscle that is the Mother Medusa from Bellflower for the single sexiest car-that-might-as-well-be-a-character of the year. Emo manly men ( Drive , Warrior , Fast Five , Shame ) Few things brought me as much joy in 2011 as the sight of hot, often burly grown men weeping, or at least near tears. Or, at least, you know, feeling stuff. And preferably shirtless. Sometimes with a partner of the same sex. The grand prixe of 2011 in this category goes to Warrior ’s Tom Hardy, who hulked OUT and tapped his inner feral child, all hurt and lonely and in glorious, glorious pain. Planet Terror ( Another Earth , Melancholia , Tree of Life , Apollo 18 ) Galactic dramarama, man. It never feels quite like the world is coming to an end like it does when the world is literally coming to an end. And alternately, as in Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life , the cosmos and the wonderment that is creation itself can be so terrifyingly awe-inspiring when you sit down and think about it… and think about it… and think about it. Unless you’re watching some alien attack bullshit on the moon. Forget that noise. All Things Ryan Gosling ( Drive , Ides of March , Crazy, Stupid, Love. , “Hey Girl,” NYC Street Fight) What can I say? He’s the coolest motherfucker in the world. He breaks up stranger danger street brawls, for goodness sake. He takes Eva Mendes to Disneyland! And to think, it all started down on the soundstages of The Mickey Mouse Club … Relationships, They’re Hard and Stuff ( Bellflower , Young Adult , A Separation , Like Crazy , One Day , Crazy, Stupid, Love. ) Sure, we’ll never see an end to movies about relationships. I mean, duh. But in 2011 we got a surprising batch of tales about love, falling in love, and the crazy batshit insane things we do for it. Forget the craptastic rom-coms and bad studio “relationship” comedies of the year ( The Change-Up , Something Borrowed , anything starring Sarah Jessica Parker or Katherine Heigl — and especially New Year’s Eve , which starred both Sarah Jessica Parker and Katherine Heigl). And let the two near-identically named Facebook generation rom-coms of the year ( Friends with Benefits , No Strings Attached ) pass. They meant you no harm. Now go straight to the smaller films that dropped the sometimes blissful, often painful real talk about romance, and cry a good cry: Like Crazy , Bellflower , A Separation , Young Adult . Hell, even The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo has something to say about crushing on your coworkers. Honorable mentions: Animal heroes ( Buck, Project Nim, Rise of the Planet of the Apes , Rango ), ass-kicking heroines ( Colombiana, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hanna , Sucker Punch ), problem children ( We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 , Beautiful Boy ) Now for the worst movie trends of 2011…
We’ve got sexy stars (s)exploring nude horizons this week on DVD and Blu-ray, like Jessie Wiseman making a mufftastic nude debut in Bellflower (2011), from first-time filmmaker Evan Glodell . Plus, Inglourious Basterds sta r Melanie Laurent flashes her funbags in Beginners (2011) (re-scheduled from November 1st), and Brazilian babe Daniela Dams also goes full-frontal for her nude debut in Rio Sex Comedy (2010). Also nude on DVD, Malcom McDowell is a prof pimping out his students in Pound of Flesh (2010), and get ready to spank your monkey as B. Monkey (1998), starring Nudity Hall-of-Famer Asia Argento , gets re-released on DVD. More after the jump!
The film portion of the South by Southwest festival wraps up today in Austin, Texas, and Mr. Skin’s Skin Skouts have been hard at work all week screening the newest and nudest films for your peter-pulling pleasure! Here’s the skinny on some of our chubby-inducing favorites: Viva Riva! (2010) is the action-packed tale of a secret cache of gas in the Democratic Republic of Congo that everyone (including the church and the government) is fighting over. Patsha Bay is a lone wolf trying to stay three steps ahead of everyone else, and Manie Malone is the wanton gang moll that is his obsession. Viva Riva! features plenty of African anatomy from Manie and her Sapphic gal pals. A pair of buddies prepare for the apocalypse by building a desert arsenal in Bellflower (2011 ) . This testosterone-fueled actioner gets a feminine touch from Rebekah Brandes ‘ left teat and from Jessie Wiseman , who bares jiggling jugs and hairy beaver getting screwed by a dude in a scene sure to launch your missle. A group of teens get locked inside their school (horrors!) in the supernatural thriller Detention (2010) . You’ll be asking for the hall pass with all the bras and bikinis sported by nudecomers Spencer Locke , Shanley Caswell and Kate Kelton, plus a porntastic cameo from Ron Jeremy and Brooke Haven . Things aren’t so great for disabled Iraq vet Michael Cuomo in Happy New Year (2010) , but a scene where he and his VA buddies visit a strip club will put a smile on your face. A celebrity impersonator gets her big break as herself in the Brazilian film Riscado (2010) . There’s no nudity in this flick, but when star Gisele Froes does her Bettie Page impression, you’ll have a raging retro boner. Also non-nude but notable is the indie rock comedy You Instead (2011) , which features a backstage girl-on-girl makeout session that’ll really raise your mic stand. Stay tuned here at the Mr. Skin blog for all the newest, nudest news from the world of skinema!
Evan Glodell’s nihilist love story/vengeance tale Bellflower is a dangerous piece of must-see American indie filmmaking for Mad Max fans and, in a way, the same crowd who can’t wait to see Quentin Dupieux’s killer tire flick Rubber . After premiering at Sundance, where Oscilliscope snapped it up for a summer 2011 release, Bellflower blazed a diesel-fueled trail through SXSW treating attendees to a glimpse of the heavily modified Buick Skylark that Glodell transformed into the flame-throwing beast known as the Mother Medusa.
In case you have been frozen in a cryogenic chamber for the past hundred years and didn’t know about Spring Break, here’s former Girls Next Door and identical twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon with a cheeky reminder from Cancun. Mr. Skin will do a double shot of these golden goddesses any time!
In case you have been frozen in a cryogenic chamber for the past hundred years and didn’t know about Spring Break, here’s former Girls Next Door and identical twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon with a cheeky reminder from Cancun. Mr. Skin will do a double shot of these golden goddesses any time!
The South by Southwest film festival gets into full swing in Austin, Texas this week, and Mr. Skin’s got his Skin Skouts on the scene! We’re selflessly screening all the hottest new films for sex and nudity so you’ll know what to see and what to skip when these flicks come around to your local multiplex. The festival still has five more days, but our Skin Skouts have already spotted some quality nudity, mostly from nudecomers….
The South by Southwest film festival gets into full swing in Austin, Texas this week, and Mr. Skin’s got his Skin Skouts on the scene! We’re selflessly screening all the hottest new films for sex and nudity so you’ll know what to see and what to skip when these flicks come around to your local multiplex. The festival still has five more days, but our Skin Skouts have already spotted some quality nudity, mostly from nudecomers….
SXSW is a fest that caters to alterna-sensibilities, so it’s no surprise genre fare has done well thus far. Insidious scored high marks with the horror crowd, but The Kill List notched all-out raves from even mainstream press — though the Conan O’B rien documentary Conan O’B rien Can’t Stop contains enough rage and demon-exorcising to give both a run for their money. Meanwhile, Bellflower — a Sundance entry in the Emerging Visions sidebar — screens on Monday night, as does the Dance Dance Revolution thriller The FP . Yes, you read that right: a gang warfare film about Dance Dance Revolution. Don’t you wish you were in Austin?
