Julia Pereira is my most recent Brazilian crush, not that I have crushes, I am more into writing sexual things about a girl, burning any bridge their may be, getting blocked on social media by her, because the chances of even the most low level model to sit on my face is slim to none…so why not make it fun…. I just wish I was the one who discovered her in some Brazilian beach town, selling cocktails or whatever it is that Brazilian girls do, packaging her to the American market like I was Victoria’s Secret…making me forever indebted to me….and thus having my babies as a thanks…not that I want babies….but you get what I am saying….and that is “if only I left my couch…anything is possible”…. These polaroids are shot by Jonathan Leder and they are awesome…
Victoria’s Secret is one of the most played out brands to ever exist, however, they do bikinis and lingerie, and the cast pretty decent babes to model those bikinis and lingerie, even if the babes they cast are garbage people like Behati Prinsloo, who marry people like Adam Levine…and even if their styling is boring, their pictures are safe, and a total misuse of these immigrant women who are begging to be exploited not celebrated….but they are still bikini pictures…on girls who should give everyday girls a complex about not being hot enough, so that they buy their bullshit products to live the fantasy, even if they are a XXL, for their husbands that wish that their wives were these girls…because a complex, where women feel inadequate, usually increases my chances of having sex…and we like when that happens….at least I do.
Since one of my favorite things in the world is seeing a busty hottie stuffed into a tight dress, here’s Amy Childs and those massive funbags of hers promoting the launch of her new fragrance. Now, my second favorite thing happens to be seeing a busty hottie getting out of said dress, but when it comes to Amy at least, I figure that’s about as likely as the chances that her new perfume is Eau de Blogger. But hey, a guy can still dream, right? » view all 15 photos Photos: WENN.com
I don’t know what this Melanie Iglesias photoshoot is for, but I like to think she had these pictures taken for me. Girl is smoking hot and I’m sure if we got to know each other my chances of scoring her would increase by 1%. As you can tell, I’m a realist.
I don’t know what this Melanie Iglesias photoshoot is for, but I like to think she had these pictures taken for me. Girl is smoking hot and I’m sure if we got to know each other my chances of scoring her would increase by 1%. As you can tell, I’m a realist.
Spy Kids Alexa Vega is all grown up, which probably upsets some of you perverts who use Spy Kids as your masturbation material, I’m talking to you Robert Rodriguez. But doesn’t upset me, cuz she’s fucking built proper. Her child starring done did her right, and the fact that she’s wearing a bra as a shirt, like so many everyday girls, cuz I guess that’s the style, a style I endorse, because I’m old school and still find it hot and slutty. I just hope she goes Amanda Bynes Crazy cuz it increases my chances of having sex with her.
Sophie Turner has taken an interesting and trashy approach to show her support for Boston, support she is only showing because it’s an opportunity to get people talking about her, you know because we all know girls who look like this are so fucked up, that they only care about themselves and the fact that they’ve failed at the whole getting famous shit and every day that goes by, makes the chances of that success few and far between. There’s not enough botox in the world to make her 30 year old face look like it was 20 again, if anything, it just makes her look like some coked out gutter pornstar trash who has taken too many loads to her face in hopes that this blowjob will lead to actual mainstream work. I am almost offended that she’s jumping on any opportunity, but even more offended that she’s a fucking lawyer and that this is how she spends her downtime, producing low level, fully clothed porn, when clearly she should be taking double anal. What a waste of an attention whore, but she does have a great ass. Keep up the philanthropic, show us you care, work, you amazing desperate girl.
Sara Jean Underwood was a Playboy star, mainly because at a young age she was smart enough to jump onto the Playboy nude modeling, knowing that at 18, her chances were better than at 25 when most girls realize “shit, I’d do playboy since normal jobs suck and failing at modeling and acting and TV hosting has robbed my soul”….because dudes like seeing 18 year olds naked whether they are all that hot or not. Then she got implants, pretended to date Seacrest, got a TV hosting job, and became too big and famous to get naked for money, typical. Well now her show is over, her fan base a little nerdier, and her eagerness to get another TV gig probably high, but the hope is that she gets nothing, and ends up going back to nude modeling and seeing her post pics in her bikini, makes me think that’s probably what is going to be happening. We call this a cry for male attention and an attempt to stay relevant. Next stop….spread pussy pics!
Entertainment Tonight has rolled out a clip from the upcoming biopic Lovelace, with Amanda Seyfried deliciously filling out the titular role. While it’s pretty unlikely that Amanda will recreate scenes of Linda Lovelace ’s suppressed gag reflex, the chances of nudity are pretty high. The clip shows Amanda in character as Linda, sitting down for a bathing suit-clad photoshoot and talking about her “flower’ blooming. Video after the jump!
If you need an idea of how intensely competitive Oscar campaigning has become, look no further than Jennifer Lawrence’s opening monologue for Saturday Night Live . Given the ridiculous media tempest that arose from Lawrence’s First Wives Club “I beat Meryl Streep ” reference at the Golden Globe Awards , I figured that the show’s writers were going to address the issue in Lawrence’s opening segment. And they did — in such a half-hearted way that it sounds like some negotiating went on to make sure that the Silver Linings Playbook star and Best Actress nominee didn’t say anything that would hurt her chances to bring home a statuette. The monologue started out in promising fashion. The Tommy Lee Jones stuff was genuinely funny and Bill Hader’s Tommy Shuffle deserves to become a genuine dance move. And then, when Lawrence told her fellow nominees, “Ladies, I love you all, but you’re about to get served,” I thought, for a few seconds at least, that the Silver Linings Playbook actress was going to earn her comedy warrior stripes by playfully dissing her competition and sending up the whole Golden Globes controversy. It started out that way, at least. Here’s how Lawrence began: “Well, well, well, look who it is. Jessica Chastain . More like Jessica Chas-ain’t winnin’ no Oscar on my watch! In Zero Dark Thirty , you caught bin Laden. So what? In Winter’s Bone , I caught a squirrel — and then I ate it. Boom! Deal with that.” And then — boom! — Lawrence pulled her punchline, so to speak. This is how she ended: “Also every time I see you act, I learn something new.” She did the same thing with each of the nominees, needling them gently in a way that only an idiot could misinterpret, and ending on a cringe-worthy note of praise. That’s not comedy. That’s Oscar campaign politics making sure that any witless television viewers and bloggers tuning in won’t mistake Lawrence’s monologue for genuine trash-talking and start up a whole new controversy that could hurt her chances with Academy voters. Here’s the thing. After watching the clip below several times, I’m left with the impression that Lawrence, who has proven herself to be quite candid in interviews , wasn’t exactly committed to the flip-floppy nature of the monologue script. The stilted and hurried way she delivers that that line of praise for Chastain off her cue card suggests she is deli something unfamiliar, or, perhaps even unsavory to her. Is that the subtle protest of an actress who doesn’t like the material she’s been given to read, but is too much of a pro to go rogue on an Oscar campaign on which many man hours and dollars have been spent? Judging from the comedic instincts Lawrence showed during the rest of her SNL performance, I say yes. What do you think? Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
