Will the Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian divorce drama ever end? Our irritated readers are not the only ones who want an answer to this question. According to Radar Online, the family of the Brooklyn Nets power forward would also like to remove Kim from their lives. “Kris’ family finds the entire matter really annoying because they’re tired of the negative attention and don’t want to be tied to Kim at all anymore ,” an insider alleges. “They just want it to be over.” This is especially the case for Kaela Humphries , an aspiring model whose career may be stalling because many agencies are “pro-Kim,” the source adds. Humphries is simply out for revenge, his loved ones believe, and it may not end well for him. Concludes this mole: “The family doesn’t want to be connected to Kim or any of the Kardashians anymore, and they’re worried that Kris will get burned in the end.” Who do you blame more for the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce drama? Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Oh my frickin God, they both just need to go far, far away! View Poll »
Lindsay Lohan just got her second half-sibling in less than three months! Michael Lohan and Kate Major have welcomed their first child together. In November, it was revealed that MiLo fathered Ashley Horn 18 years or so ago. The man is fertile, ladies and gentlemen! While Lindsay was booking it to court this morning in L.A., Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital. Son Landon Major Lohan arrived at 11:39 a.m. The stats: 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs., 5 oz. Michael Lohan was with Kate Major – who he impregnated in violation of a restraining order against him last year – the entire time and cut the umbilical cord. It’s his sixth child, after Lindsay Lohan , Ali Lohan, Dakota (Cody) Lohan, Michael Lohan Jr. and Ashley Horn (by his former mistress Kristi Horn). Michael, Kate and Landon are all doing great. Congratulations to the happy couple!
Simply put, Casablanca is the greatest movie in cinematic history. So state the good folks at Movie Fanatic , who have spent weeks counting down the top 100 films of all-time. The rankings finally concluded today with a final three of Vertigo , Taxi Driver and the Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman classic that “continues to compel every new generation that comes along,” according to the site. Why? “Because it is equal parts timeless romance and war drama, whose themes could not be more universal, regardless of the era.” That’s lofty praise. Do you agree with the ranking? Is Casablanca the best movie ever? Heck yes! No way! Casa-Whata?!? View Poll »
I don’t ask a lot. I don’t really ask anything . Absurdities come and go . I roll with what I can and let the rest fade away. We’re similar in that regard, aren’t we? We won’t agree on everything, but we’re adults who ultimately respect each others’ tastes and accept — resentfully or not — that in this destabilized, hyper-reductive cinematic climate, even such fare as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot has a place in our culture. It’s big enough for all of us! So with this in mind, and in light of the vicious media sparring currently underway among the TMNT establishment, can we please, please just lay down our nunchucks and let this skirmish go? To wit, can we please not make an international incident out of producer Michael Bay’s context-free acknowledgement that “[t]hese turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable”? Judging by the fan reaction, you’d think that Bay proposed changing the heroes to rabbits or literally stomped on a live turtle in the middle of the Nickelodeon upfronts. And to that point, can we please no longer spotlight the bottom-feeding likes of Robbie Rist, who provided the voice of Michaelangelo in the original live-action TMNT films and who inveighed against Bay [ via TMZ , of course ]: “You probably don’t know me but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing. I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet? The rape of our childhood memories continues … ” And to that point, can we please institute a moratorium on vaguely public figures comparing the contemporary adaptation of past glories to “rape,” “sodomizing,” and other terms of sexual violence? Just as nobody assaulted Vertigo against its will — despite Kim Novak’s hair-raising protestations otherwise — Michael Bay is not thinking about or even capable of penetrating TMNT ‘s anus or anyone’s “childhood memories.” For the record, neither TMNT nor our childhood memories have anuses to penetrate, forcibly or otherwise. This is an increasingly reckless, facile and fairly reprehensible analogy that the press nevertheless plays along with instead of suugesting a more appropriate alternative word for the act compromising a renowned legacy. How about “Lucas,” perhaps? E.G.: “Michael Bay had better not Lucas the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, or I’ll be pissed.” “Aliens? But that Lucases everything .” Etc., etc. Now that’s a vision from which even Bay would recoil. And to that point, can we please step back from utterly unwinnable culture wars that make Bay look like the reasonable one? From a message-board dispatch by Bay himself: “Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.” “A richer world”! Imagine! Put your weapons down! Or at least aim them at a graver travesty . [via THR ] Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Heads up, romantic drama die-hards: Movie theaters will be awash with tears in the next couple of weeks. Three epic — well, two epics and one epic-lite — love stories are being re-released for various questionable reasons, and in these challenging economic times it might not make sense to rush out and see all three. Here, then, are some points to consider before buying a ticket and travel-size tissues for Casablanca , The Bodyguard or Titanic . Casablanca , in which we fall in love with Ingrid Bergman’s twinkly eyes while she falls for Humphrey Bogart all over again, turns 70 this year. To celebrate, TCM is screening the film in select cities for one night only — today! — March 21 . The beloved classic has been re-mastered, so if you’ve gone a long stretch since seeing the film in a theater, it might be worth catching a newly polished version. TCM host Robert Osborne will introduce Casablanca along with a presentation on the making of the film and behind-the-scenes material. That’s not exactly a huge draw. The $12.50 might be better spent toward the special-edition DVD/Blu-ray release, due March 27, because despite being officially septuagenarian, the movie simply never gets old, and will always demand repeated viewing. Verdict: See it in theaters AND buy the Blu-ray. Hey, it’s a classic . Honoring both the legacy of sublime vocalist Whitney Houston and the 20th anniversary (in November) of her first film, Warner Bros. is bringing The Bodyguard back to theaters for a one-night stand March 28 . Is it opportunistic in the wake of her death last month? Sure. But the nostalgia wave for Houston’s body of work is still going strong, and the real opportunity is for fans to hear one of the most beautiful voices of modern pop music in a prime audio environment. It’s a chance to come close to seeing her onstage again. On the other hand, it would be much more appropriate to snark on the movie, as unconvincing lovebirds Houston and Kevin Costner build up tepid passion for one another, in the comfort of your own home. The Bodyguard is on Amazon and YouTube for the cost of a cup of coffee, and there are no fancy visual effects besides Houston’s gleaming smile to make it worth the big-screen treatment. [Note: Both the Casablanca and the Bodyguard events will be broadcast through Fathom Events , which projects simultaneously into networked theaters via satellite, so it’s hard to say what sort of picture quality you’ll be getting.] Verdict: Unless you’re a Bodyguard /Houston fanatic, skip it in theaters. You’re better off weeping over the Bodyguard soundtrack on repeat. Which brings us to Titanic 3-D , out April 6 . James Cameron considers the younger generation the target audience for the 3-D version of his 1997 masterpiece. Although watching Rose find her inner badass is thrilling, she’s competing with Katniss Everdeen for the moviegoers Cameron hopes to lure in, as The Hunger Games will be in its third weekend of pop culture and box office domination when Titanic hits. Not that Kate Winslet ’s moxie, or even her chemistry with Leonardo DiCaprio , is the main draw, of course. The real reasons to jump at the chance to see Titanic on the big screen are those hyper-real and well-paced ship-sinking scenes. Cameron went to great lengths and expense to produce a 3-D version for our viewing pleasure — though it turns out that the resulting darkness of the screen makes it a less-than-enjoyable experience , according to some critics who caught an early glimpse. It’s troubling that first-timers might watch this first-class love story unfold through a haze just so a couple chunks of iceberg shoot out at them, so it’s a good thing Paramount is also screening it in regular 2-D. It’s hard to justify giving Cameron more money at this point (two Avatar sequels is two too many), so a less costly 2-D option feels like a decent happy medium, one that also would introduce the film’s grandeur to a new audience in the best possible way. Verdict: See it in theaters if you’ve never let go. Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Speaking with Sigourney Weaver for this week’s Abduction , in which the celebrated actress mentors young Taylor Lautner in the ways of the spy game, Movieline proposed a round of My Favorite Scene . Her pick? A scene from a Hitchcock classic starring screen legends Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman that moved Weaver so much she marveled, “It’s like the whole movie turns into a different organism.”
Leave it to Jennifer Aniston, lovable TV star-turned- Horrible Boss , to introduce a new frontier on Bad Movies We Love: the lovable, horrible TV movie. Three cheers for network budgets and forgettable scripting! Low-five! This week’s selection is the summer camp non-classic Camp Cucamonga , which features an unphotogenic cavalcade of NBC stars (Candace Cameron! John Ratzenburger! Jaleel White!), Wonder Years cast members for coming-of-age credibility (Danica McKellar! Josh Saviano! Not Fred Savage!), and so much of Jennifer Aniston’s old nose that she looks like… an unpolished, Degrassi version of Jennifer Aniston. Cute!
Apparently today is International Kissing Day, a global extension of the quasi-holiday founded in the UK before spreading its germy brand to foreign shores. We’re all stuck with it now, but you know what they say: When life throws you lemons, watch Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in the greatest kiss ever captured for the screen. Or… something.
She may be the daughter of legendary Italian director Roberto Rossellini and screen icon Ingrid Bergman, but Isabella Rossellini is not above dressing up in a praying mantis costume and simulating the insect’s mating ritual for your amusement. The Wildlife Conservation Network board member has been, ahem, doing it two seasons now on the Sundance Channel’s Green Porno series, which the actress also writes and produces. Rossellini’s new series Seduce Me premieres April 20 on SundanceChannel.com. The reproductive habits of salmon, bats and bed bugs are the new focus in this round of nature nookie, shot with the same simple comic style that made her first series so successful. In anticipation of Seduce Me ‘s premiere, Rossellini phoned Movieline to discuss animal mating, recall who was laughing during those sadomasochistic scenes in Blue Velvet , and reveal how she does not plan on celebrating the centennial of her mother.
