Tag Archives: estrogen

Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

I will never understand Eva Longoria’s fame, but it turns out she’s really fucking famous on an international level. I remember meeting some dude at a bar who went nuts on me when I was talking about Eva Longoria, as I do, all the time, after he told me she was making some kind of appearance or speech….to which I said “who the fuck cares about that Mexican bitch”…she was on one TV show…that’s it…and it wasn’t even a good TV show… It makes no sense…I know what you’re thinking, the guy who freaked on me was a gay Hispanic guy….but not even, he was some Irish straight dude drinking beer…who was very into Eva Longoria… She’s not even hot, I mean hot for a 40 year old Mexican, they normally have 18 kids and a tortilla body….with no neck….but this one, thanks to being Hollywood, and the kind of white girl first generation Mexican, who hires Mexicans…to be her slaves just to prove how non-mexican she is in her primarily white Texas highschool that has turned into her life… She’s rich, she fucks rich, she does fake charity work…and she wears bikinis like a middle age woman who doesn’t want to size up to admit she’s thicker…but prefers her fat spilling over the string bikini…that should be spanx shorts… I’m not a fan. Maybe I’m racist..even though my name is Jesus Martinez…I just think this girl is full of shit, even in her bikini on some trashy hooker Pussycat Doll Fitness retreat… I like the Estrogen patches….so feminine… The post Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

Gisele Bundchen for Porter Magazine of the Day

I feel weird looking at all these moms…it reminds me of all those failed masturbation attempts in the Starbucks bathroom after watching one too many girls order a latte…oh no, I feel more weird about the fact that she may have been born with testicles like she was Hilary Clinton…. I am surprised this mom is still modelling, but she looks better and more feminine than ever. maybe the baby making jacked up her estrogen, maybe being 100 years old slowed down her metabolism, maybe it doesn’t matter, but what does matter is the questionable belly button and the possible reasons for it…was she born that way, was that where they did her sex change from, so many unanswered questions…who cares.

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Gisele Bundchen for Porter Magazine of the Day

Iggy Azalea’s Tits of the Day

I think it is safe to say, Iggy Azalea, female rapper who pretends she was a poor ex stripper from Australia because it makes a good story, a better story than “I moved to LA to become famous and this act seemed to work”…probably because she banged a lot of black dudes in the industry..is crying for attention…asking everyone to look at her…but it’s is even safer to say she’s better off showing her fat ass, because it’s a hell of a lot better than this tits and face…seriously…distract us from this truth…I feel like she’s Tilda Swinton’s daughter…but that would mean Tilda Swinton has a uterus and that’s scarier than these pics… TO SEE SOME PICS OF HER IN CONCERT CLICK HERE

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Iggy Azalea’s Tits of the Day

Hormones in the Food Have Got Kylie Jenner Too…of the Day

Here’s 12 year old Kylie Jenner in a bikini from 10 days ago…and it looks like that like so many other 12 year old…the hormones in the food, the estrogen in the water, the GMOed vegetables, and all the fast food…has got her too…that or her mom got her implants for attention…which is probably really what happened here…not that your pervert creeper ass cares…you just like staring… Now her only real flaw is that she’s a Kardashian….cuz titties can’t save a bitch from that…

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Hormones in the Food Have Got Kylie Jenner Too…of the Day

Gisele is Hot Booty on the Beach of the Day

In the past, I have accused Gisele for being a dude…born with a penis…but only because she had a hard face and was from Brazil, where 60% of the hot girls are born dudes, and 20 percent of the hot girls who were born girls, have clits the size of your dick. True story, they do things different there. I even went as far to say she was wearing a prosthetic pregnancy bump…because dudes can’t have babies, except on Oprah. In the past, I have been disgusted by women who reproduce, because having babies ruins their bodies, from stomach to vagina….and hormonally they become all fucking lazy and slobs…not to mention they are burdened with brats who make me mad and also make me a stepfather even in my sexual fantasies…. But motherfucker, this booty is amazing….seriously, I finally understand her appeal, why she got cast with big brands to be half naked, and dude or not, the estrogen is pumping and this ass is from another planet. I mean shit, she’s carrying her latest Tom Brady baby, and I can still wack off to her… That’s talent. TO SEE THE EREST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Gisele is Hot Booty on the Beach of the Day

Michelle Pfeiffer Getting Topped By a Queer of the Day

For the Michelle Pfeiffer fans, don’t worry, there’s nothing to worry about here, Zac Efforn is not rubbing his hard cock against her ass like she’s some kind of bath house patron looking for a husband for the night, he is usually a bottom, so when he gets up behind a bitch, he freezes up and doesn’t know what to do, so boners won’t be violating your woman who can get blind gay men hard because once the period stops, the clit enlarges, the mustache grows out, the pheromones released aren’t all that womanly…not to mention she’s all glamourous and fags flock to that shit… Either way, here she is losing her gender on set slowly as the estrogen fades…and I’m posting it cuz she’s still Michelle Pfeiffer and she still has a vagina…even if it’s a little cold, dryer and dead than it used to be…

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Michelle Pfeiffer Getting Topped By a Queer of the Day

Now Playing: A Stephanie Zacharek Video Review Double Feature!

As you know, Friday usually brings an abundance of video riches to Movieline, including chief film critic Stephanie Zacharek’s on-camera movie reviews. Today, however, Stephanie is doubling up! And why not, considering the exoticness of the pairing: Eat Pray Love and The Expendables (er, sorry, fellas: The Expendables and Eat Pray Love ), the estrogen ebb and the testosterone flow for a weekend when anything goes . Much like this video review, in fact. Take it away, Stephanie!

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Now Playing: A Stephanie Zacharek Video Review Double Feature!