Tag Archives: jesus-martinez

Emmy Rossum with the Deep Pussy Stretch of the Day

I don’t like Emmy Rossum. There’s something about her that I find really fucking annoying. I get that she gets naked on a show, and has been getting naked on a show, since that show started and really saved her life from being a really obscure and ignored celebrity…. She’s 32 now, that show’s been on the air for 9 years, so back at 23…seeing her naked was a lot more interesting…it has only been progressively downhill, as nature has told us for generations and generations…but she’s trying to keep it up, this last season for her, because she wants to be paid as much as William H Macy, an actual actor with a career before Shameless, as these egotistical fucks do….I mean she wasn’t in Fargo, Magnolia, or any of the other shows William H Macy was in…she just rode the success of this show thanks to him being on it and 9 years later doesn’t get seniority, assumes she’s more valuable than she is, and is walking….it’s pretty fucking rude, obnoxious, turning her back on those who made you like a whining rich kid…which she is. So while she tries to stay hot, working out, deep pussy stretches, you can just look at her old nude scenes, when she wasn’t a mid 30s piece of rich entitled shit, when she was trying so hard to make it…even getting naked on TV like a sex worker…because actors and sex workers aren’t far off…. JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES! The post Emmy Rossum with the Deep Pussy Stretch of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Emmy Rossum with the Deep Pussy Stretch of the Day

India Eisley Naked of the Day

India Eisley is a 24 year old actress from Los Angeles, where actors are usually from… Her dad a Glam Rocker…her grandfather an actor on an ABC Show…her mother Olivia Hussey an actress who before marrying this one’s dad was married to Dean Martin’s son…she was also in the Original IT….and is the voice on some Star Wars videogames…so I wonder how India got to this point in her career…tits out from a movie…being featured on this highly reputable site….I am sure from raw talent and struggle…and not from family friends… India, since this isn’t a post about her parents or their cultural appropriation names…like they were that bitch in the US Politics who is less than 1 percent native, but claiming to be native, you know that kind of cultural appropriation….was in a movie called The Secret Life of the American Teenager, that in one episode shouted out “Jesus Martinez”…which is my name and I assumed was about me because I was told it was about me…even though nothing is about me…. What I am trying to get at, but the voices in my head are distracting me, is that she’s naked in movies, which is how I like all actresses to be, the direction they need to take, the way we can jerk off to them…nudity is in, it’s now, it’s current, it’s great. Keep up the good feminism!!! JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES! The post India Eisley Naked of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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India Eisley Naked of the Day

Bella Thorne Tonguing the Wrong Thing in Canada of the Day

Bella Thorne is a disney star, super famous instagram hooker, nude enough to keep us interested, social media manipulating, next generation redheaded goddess with a jacked up her face with injections…and acne scars… She’s gone and stuck her tongue on a fence post…..stickin that tongue to it…and I find the whole thing rude and offensive…because when in Canada her tongue should only be stuck to my anus….it’s a welcoming – thank you for your maple syrup – Jesus Martinez – Ambassador of Canada thing… And her sticking it to a metal post, that’s just mocking me… The post Bella Thorne Tonguing the Wrong Thing in Canada of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Bella Thorne Tonguing the Wrong Thing in Canada of the Day

Billie Jane by Julien for stepGIRLS of the Day

Our resident photographic genius Julien Archembault got together with our resident stepGIRL baby we call Billie Jane and created this fun editiorial that screams “hey fashion magazines with huge budgets trying to survive in the new media landscape and other unknown publications that aren’t even publications but have 1,000,000 followers on social media because they understand how to SHARE FOR SHARE”….that we’re contenders, and really, despite being lazy, slow moving, uninspired, unmotivated, not a team player willing to suck up to cunts, we are going to fucking win…kill and destroy all you motherfuckers…that..or I’ll just nap… You know, I started the site in 2004, was flagged porn in 2004, all my blogger friends made millions, when I maxed out credit cards to pay for a server, and I’m still broke as fuck still doing this, which makes me more dangerous or crazy than the assholes who made it, they’re soft, have no souls and sold the fuck out.. Well… We’re here to kill you motherfuckers….follow us on instagram …then go fuck yourselves… With Love, Jesus Martinez… DrunkenStepfather.com The post Billie Jane by Julien for stepGIRLS of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Billie Jane by Julien for stepGIRLS of the Day

Stepfather Presents ‘Motel Hell” Teaser of the Day

This is a teaser of Motel Hell – a movie that will be out next year… I may be a terribly lazy person, who likes sitting on my couch and drinking, hating everything hollywood, but I managed to partner up with director Dom Cappelletti and sell a fucking movie….called Motel Hell. This is the Teaser…. That’s right….I’m going to Hollywood motherfuckers..don’t worry I’ll film the casting couch….desperate girls are my favorite too. No one takes me seriously, I’m one big joke, blocked by everyone on social media, but that’s all about to change…. If I had emotions, I’d be more excited, but I will say that I’ve been wanting to do a horror movie pretty much my entire life…they are cheap, terrifying, full of tits, and the only movies worth watching, so what better day to announce the big news….than on Halloween. Yes. I am going to be the next Ben Affleck and Matt Damon meets Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp if they were broke, Mexican dudes who have a blog…and sex will be bought with all the money I make. I’d like to thank you all in advance for making these dreams come true….the support is what managed to allow me to focus on my dreams and make them come true….I do it all for you. I’d also like to thank Jesus Martinez my lord and savior… So brace yourself, get ready for next year. It’s going to be huge…this is your warning… The post Stepfather Presents ‘Motel Hell” Teaser of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Stepfather Presents ‘Motel Hell” Teaser of the Day

Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

I will never understand Eva Longoria’s fame, but it turns out she’s really fucking famous on an international level. I remember meeting some dude at a bar who went nuts on me when I was talking about Eva Longoria, as I do, all the time, after he told me she was making some kind of appearance or speech….to which I said “who the fuck cares about that Mexican bitch”…she was on one TV show…that’s it…and it wasn’t even a good TV show… It makes no sense…I know what you’re thinking, the guy who freaked on me was a gay Hispanic guy….but not even, he was some Irish straight dude drinking beer…who was very into Eva Longoria… She’s not even hot, I mean hot for a 40 year old Mexican, they normally have 18 kids and a tortilla body….with no neck….but this one, thanks to being Hollywood, and the kind of white girl first generation Mexican, who hires Mexicans…to be her slaves just to prove how non-mexican she is in her primarily white Texas highschool that has turned into her life… She’s rich, she fucks rich, she does fake charity work…and she wears bikinis like a middle age woman who doesn’t want to size up to admit she’s thicker…but prefers her fat spilling over the string bikini…that should be spanx shorts… I’m not a fan. Maybe I’m racist..even though my name is Jesus Martinez…I just think this girl is full of shit, even in her bikini on some trashy hooker Pussycat Doll Fitness retreat… I like the Estrogen patches….so feminine… The post Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

Francia Raisa Flexing of the Day

You may not know who Francia Raisa is, maybe you didn’t see Bring It On 47: All or Nothing, or The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream, since The Cutting Edge 1 and 2 just didn’t inspire you enough to see a third one… Maybe you don’t watch the Secret Life of the American Teenager, even though they gave me a shout out, at least I think they did…Unless they know another Jesus Martinez, I mean there are millions of us… But Francia Raisa is still a person…not a very famous person…but a person who matters enough that we notice her half naked and flexhing….because even if I don’t care about sports bra…I care about tits..and the two come hand in hand…and she’s more butch than Olympian Bruce Jenner…which isn’t saying much. The post Francia Raisa Flexing of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Francia Raisa Flexing of the Day

Matt & Kim – It’s Alright is the Music Video of the Day

I don’t know Matt & Kim….because I don’t really stay on top of music…but luckily they produced this awesome music video of a choreographed dance in their underwear in the bed….shot from the top….all artistic, high concept and fun….and more importantly….”Kim”….has an awesome ass while doing it….the song’s alright too….it’s alright….see what I did there? Yeah…I know…I’m a comedic genius cuz I don’t make anyone laugh…that’s how next level I am….which is not as next level as this….. Now everyone….get in your bed and dance….

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Matt & Kim – It’s Alright is the Music Video of the Day

Ashley Smith and Anais Pouliot and Others for French Revue de Mode of the Day

I know there is no nipple on the covers of French Revue de Mode…and you’d think the whole being French part of it would have ensured that there was nudity…I thought the french were the whole reason for this titties in fashion movement that has taken over the world since the 70s….but all they are giving us is Ashley Smith’s amazing cleavage….along with some other girls I have seen naked, but would prefer to see squirting in my mouth after giving them the Jesus Martinez face fuck…I’m a sexual god like that…I’d get testimonials but these crackwhores I get with are both a bad look and embarrassing to brag about….but more importantly…illiterate. Here are the pics….of some model greatness…

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Ashley Smith and Anais Pouliot and Others for French Revue de Mode of the Day

Ashley Smith and Anais Pouliot and Others for French Revue de Mode of the Day

I know there is no nipple on the covers of French Revue de Mode…and you’d think the whole being French part of it would have ensured that there was nudity…I thought the french were the whole reason for this titties in fashion movement that has taken over the world since the 70s….but all they are giving us is Ashley Smith’s amazing cleavage….along with some other girls I have seen naked, but would prefer to see squirting in my mouth after giving them the Jesus Martinez face fuck…I’m a sexual god like that…I’d get testimonials but these crackwhores I get with are both a bad look and embarrassing to brag about….but more importantly…illiterate. Here are the pics….of some model greatness…

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Ashley Smith and Anais Pouliot and Others for French Revue de Mode of the Day