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Dear Bossip , Ok, so where do I begin? Here it goes! Maybe 4 months ago, I met a gentleman online. We exchanged numbers and gained a really close bond. Talking on the phone 2 to 3 times a day; morning, noon and night. We built a great relationship, for at least I thought. Mind you, he lived in Illinois and I reside in Virginia. So, he suggested I fly up to finally meet. I purchased my own airline ticket by the way, because he stated; that was all the spending I had to do, and he was correct. I arrived to Illinois, he picked me up from the airport; and again, mind you, this was our very first time meeting in person. So, I really liked what I saw. He was “such” a Gentleman, and YES, he took very good care of me; I did not spend a DIME; stayed for 4 nights. AWESOME! He introduced me to several of his friends; either they came by or we drove to their homes, which I thought was very sweet. Anyway, to make a long story short, the day of my departure, he asked if I mind if we stop at his brother’s home before going to the airport. Well, of course, I had no problem. His brother, wife and kids were all very nice and hospitable. So, when it was time to head to the airport, and after getting halfway there, I realized, I left my coat at his brother’s home. Don’t ask? Don’t know how I left a “coat” while visiting Illinois, but I did and we did not have enough time to turn around. Ok, so, I get back home safely to Virginia and I call my friend to let him know; I’m home Babe. We spoke briefly because I was a little tired from the trip, so I suggested we speak the next day. This is where things get really WEIRD! The next day I call him and I get his voice-mail, and this occurred quite frequently. To the point where I’m becoming questionable. Previously, this is a man that called all the time and never missed any of my calls. But, NOW, he has no conversation, at all! Ok, I’m confused like HELL! I finally sat still and focused on him, and just the entire event, and came to the conclusion that, here is this 45-year old man who needed his friends and family to OK me! Terrance, am I right or wrong? I’m hurt and I feel very, mislead by someone  that I really, really, thought I knew and liked very much so!  I’ve emailed and have only called twice in a respectful manner. Terrance, I’m just trying to get my coat, for real! The second time I called I couldn’t leave a message because his voice-mail is full. WHAT DO I DO? I’ve accepted and respected his wishes of not wanting to communicate with me further; I get it, I GUESS. But now, I feel as though he’s playing with me and my feelings by totally ignoring me all together. Now, I have his brother’s number and DO NOT want to call him, but seriously, should I? I’m thinking maybe his brother can talk him into at least sending me a YES, via email, pertaining to my Coat. Is this crazy or what? I need some answers. – MAD & MISSING MY COAT! Dear Ms. Mad & Missing My Coat , Uhm, no this is not crazy. YOU ARE! The hell is wrong with your ass! You keep calling this man, and he hasn’t returned any of your calls, and now his voice mail is full. WHAT DO YOU THIINK THAT MEAN? Ole slow ass special needs woman. I swear whatever you drank at that man’s house, or swallowed from him, has truly got you going bat –ish crazy. Keep that madness over there. We don’t need for it to become an outbreak and other women become infected. Wait, (ponders for a minute), damn, it’s too late. Other women have been infected. RUN! HIDE YOUR KIDS! HIDE YOURSELVES! LMBAO! Now, ma’am, do you really want the coat, or are you using the coat as a way to displace your anger because he hasn’t returned any of your calls after you spent these four wonderful days in Chicago with him and met his family and friends? And, since you stated he showed you a good time and TOOK CARE OF YOU, are you upset that you let him lay up in you, and now you feel like a high-priced hooker? I knows what “Took Care Of You” really mean. (Hmmmm, inquiring minds want to know) And, chile, cheese! I swear you women meeting these men on the internet, who live in other states, and you think it’s love because he calls you two and three times a day, answers your call when you phone, and sends you lovey-dovey text messages of how much he can’t wait to see you and make you his woman. The ole okey-doke doesn’t get old, and it certainly doesn’t matter who the culprit and players are. All of you are just pieces in the game and still can’t get the rules right. SMDH! Simpleton is not your forte. Perhaps it’s your expertise. I’m curious as to what type of relationship did you think you were going to create with a man you met on the internet, and he lives in Illinois and you live in Virginia? Were you in your head, because that’s what you delirious women do, planning this wonderful relationship of bliss and if you or he was going to move and be together? I seriously and highly doubt that was going to happen. And, let’s get something very clear right now. Your dumbass bought an airline ticket to go see this man, and it was your first visit. Uhm, sweetie, if this man was so interested in you, and so gung-ho about you visiting, then he should have anteed up half of the ticket. Yeah, yeah, he took care of everything while you were there, but you did stay at his home, correct? Hmmm, pulls out my bull-ish calculator and begins to add things up. Now, according to the bull-ish calculator staying at his home didn’t cost him anything. Did he take you out to eat, and where? Or did he cook at home? (Does some adding and subtracting, and now divide the bull-ish that he fed you. Okay, eating at fast food restaurants, because I know he didn’t take you to any 5 or 4 star restaurants, adds up to basically nothing.) So, I want to know what did he come out of pocket for? The gas that he used when he picked you up from the airport and dropped you off? The gas he used to take you to meet his friends, and keep in mind that you went by the brother’s house on your way to the airport. According to my bull-ish calculator only “Johns” use gas to pick up “Tricks.” Chile, you people really need to invest in a bull-ish calculator. It breaks everything down for you. Especially all you basic women who do basic ass –ish. On the real, I get the feeling that dude is not feeling you, and after the four days of using you as his sex whore, ooops, I’m sorry, I meant his proposed love interest, LOL, that he really is not into you. The fact that you keep calling and you get no response, uhm, let me buy you a damn clue. THE MAN DOES NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED. HE’S GOTTEN WHAT HE WANTS FROM YOU. HE IS A PLAYER, AND YOU GOT PLAYED. STOP BEING A TRICK AND LEARN THE RULES OF THE GAME SO IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN. And, if you have his brother’s number, and if you’re sooooooo interested in getting your coat, then why haven’t you called him? What the hell are you waiting for? But, again, it’s not about the coat. It’s the fact that your feelings are hurt. You’re bothered by the fact that you spent money to go see a man, and let him bang you out, and you don’t understand why a man whom told you all the things that you wanted to hear would do something like this to you. Girl, wake up and stop acting naïve and childish. You knew what you were going to Illinois for. Hell, all of the people he took you to meet knew what you were in Illinois for. Ladies, ladies, ladies, please stop meeting these men on the internet and letting them fill your head up with all these wonderful ideas of a happy ever after. It’s all lies and bull-ish. They are only telling you what you want to hear. They are only getting you hot and bothered so they can blow your backs out. THAT IS THE PLAN! ALWAYS! So, chuck up the deuces and count it as a lesson learned. Move on, and if you really want your damn coat call the brother and have him ship it to you, or offer to have it shipped to you at your costs. The end. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE! Make sure to order my books  Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click  HERE!     

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Dear Bossip: We Met Online & I Went To Visit Him, But I Left My Coat & He Won’t Answer My Calls