What are we doing, readers? Did we just spend a half hour of our lives watching Kris Jenner talk about her bladder and her vagina? Have we no dignity?!? While I re-consider how I spend my free time, let’s review the latest scripted episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians , THG style! Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Kris vs. Khloe Kris Jenner often pees herself. MINUS 7 because I don’t care and because that’s gross. There’s apparently a rule of no phones at the dinner table in this household. Multiple TV cameras, though? No problem! PLUS 9 . Kris is upset because her kids keep giving her a hard time over her bladder in front of strangers. Unless me and her are tighter than I realized, MINUS 19 for her complaining about this to a TV camera. Bruce hopes to “inspire” others at a local heli-park. MINUS 12 . Bruce Jennifer is an Olympian decathlete, folks. These girls have to understand the value of money and hard work, Bruce says about his daughters. It’s true. PLUS 3 because you can’t just lie down, turn on a camera and invite Ray J into your room to get somewhere in life. Kim uses the word “romantical.” MINUS 47 . MINUS 112 because Kourtney just brought up her mom’s “leaky vagina.” We just watched Kris Jenner get a gynecological exam. MINUS 879 . Kourtney and Kris are now doing simultaneous kegel exercises. MINUS 1,179 . This is the worst half hour of my life. PLUS 11 for Kylie and Kendall going to a downtown mission and meeting the first black people they’ve ever seen who aren’t dating one of their siblings. Kris turns her bladder leaking into an endorsement deal. Our pain is her monetary pleasure, people. MINUS 83 . EPISODE TOTAL: -2,247. SEASON TOTAL: -2,581
When ABC’s Bachelor Pad returns August 8, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi will meet again in the mansion as they battle for … everything. With $250,000 on the line – and Girardi’s current beau, Bachelorette reject Kasey Kahl, in the mix – the stakes are high and the insults bitter. “I hope she falls 3,000 feet to her death,” Jake says in the promo below. Bachelor Pad 2 Promo: Jake vs. Vienna It’s no surprise that the exes’ icy interactions highlight the summer spin-off series, which airs a week after The Bachelorette season finale. “She’s trying to hurt me so she can get the money,” a fired up Jake says in reference to the show’s grand prize. “It will not happen!” Vienna Girardi is equally as vengeful. “I hate him!” she snipes. Jake somehow chose Vienna on The Bachelor the season before last, only to break up with and despise her approximately 17 hours later. They went on to air their dirty laundry publicly in an epic interview on The Bachelorette season starring Ali Fedotowsky last summer. Host Chris Harrison recently weighed in on Jake Pavelka : “Jake is someone who … it’s hard to explain,” he said. “He’s a good guy, he means well, but he’s a little bit – and they all are to an extent – a little bit delusional about their fame and their scope and how long this is going to last. “I try to tell all these people, take advantage of all this, use this to enhance your life, whatever that is. But you know, for Jake … he really got caught up in it … he really, really got caught up in it.” “And he’s someone who came on to try to turn the tide and change everybody’s opinion of him. And he really has a hard time with that.” When Chris Harrison is full-on calling you a fame whore – in the same breath in which he admits people come on the show for publicity, and that he encourages it no less – you know things have reached ridiculous proportions.
The Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden Look-We’re-Really-In-Love-And-Not-Out-For-Publicity-Publicity Tour stopped by Father Albert this week. Yes, that’s really a show. In an interview with host Albert Cutie, the 51-year old actor agrees with his 16-year old wife: a higher power brought them together. “God connects us,” Hutchison says. “When you meet that someone you love, there’s something inside that’s leading you towards that person.” During the conversation, Stodden once again claims she was a virgin prior to her wedding night and adds that Hutchison is her fantasy come true. After all, the guy is an actor! “He’s my acting coach. I have a built- in acting coach! How many girls [would want that]? That’s their dream, and I fell in love with my dream.” Women have taken to calling Courtney a “slut,” to which she has an unusual response: “It’s kind of funny because if a woman doesn’t call me that when I walk by, I think I need to go home and redo my hair because I don’t look as good as I did when they call me that.” So, to summarize: Stodden admits her dreams came true because she married an actor and also says she attempts to look slutty on a daily basis. Pssst, Kim Kardashian . You need to give this woman tips on how to market herself without making it so obvious that she’s marketing herself.
In need of dating advice? Unsure if you can trust your new boy toy? Not to worry, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner are here! The young teens have released a new blog video in which they answer fan questions. It’s unclear which is more disturbing: that these girls believe they have insight into the opposite sex, or that they have fans? Kylie comes across as the most jaded toward men, saying at one point: “A lot of guys lie. Like, they lie a lot. You can think some guy is the best guy ever, like he’ll never do anything to hurt you, but … no. No. Be careful.” This, of course, beats sister Kim’s advice on guys: sometimes, you need to position the camera for yourself. Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner Offer Dating Advice
It’s among mankind’s most vexing questions: what is the appeal of the Kardashians, a family with no personality, talent or positive contributions to society of any kind? In the latest issue of Redbook , Khloe Kardashian somehow keeps a straight face when answering: “We are a real family. We don’t sugarcoat anything. We’re not the Brady Bunch, but we always put each other first. We love each other on camera, we cry on camera. I think people relate to the realness of it.” These are the same people who somehow believe Kim Kardashian Tweets at them due to a personal attachment, not as a contribution to her empire . What is the biggest misconception about the family? Manager and matriarch Kris Jenner tackles this inquiry, hilariously lying stating: “All of my daughters have jobs. They are fashion stylists and designers; they own a chain of stores. They had the stores before they had the show. And my kids worked from the time they were 13 years old… They work 25 hours a day. And that they don’t have any talent? They might not be singers or dancers, but they certainly know how to produce a television show. Whether you want to call it talent or not, they have multiple shows on the air. [I want to say,] How many shows do you have?” That cannot be denied, Kris. But it must be asked: do they have multiple shows on the air due to anything the Kardashians offer? Or due to the sheer ignorance/stupidity of viewers?
Atlanta rapper posts bond Wednesday after turning himself in for weapons and drug charges. By Mawuse Ziegbe Waka Flocka Flame (file) Photo: Vallery Jean/ FilmMagic Waka Flocka Flame was released from custody Wednesday (January 5) after turning himself in for an array of weapons and drug charges earlier this week. Deputy Fielder of Georgia’s Henry County Sherriff’s Office confirmed to MTV News that the Atlanta rapper, born Juaquin Malphurs, was at released at 3:33 p.m. after posting $31,950 bond. Waka turned himself in to authorities Monday after his home was raided and his manager-mom Deb Antney and his So Icey mentor Gucci Mane were briefly detained. The “No Hands” rapper was booked on several charges, including possession of marijuana and hydrocodone, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and violation of probation for driving on a suspended license. Antney has told MTV News that despite reports the raid was part of an investigation into a prostitution organization, Waka was not involved in that type of activity. “It had nothing to do with prostitution,” Antney said last month. “The weapons they found were licensed weapons. There was under an ounce of marijuana, but it was nothing but a blunt. The other drugs were medication that was in Waka’s room from when he got hurt,” Antney said, referencing the “O Let’s Do It” spitter’s shooting in January 2010 . Waka has staunchly denied that he’s involved in any illegal activity, maintaining that he has no plans to dip into street dealings now that he’s a hitmaking hip-hop star. “Why would I rap and go try to street gang bang? That’s hustling backwards,” he insisted in December. “Why would I wanna rap all around the world and then go hit the streets and gang bang? I’m a rapper, I’m not a [gang-banger]. How can you gang bang and be a rapper? I don’t understand that. I would love to find out where their information is coming from. I can’t wait.” Related Videos Exclusive: Waka Flocka Flame Details Shooting Related Artists Waka Flocka Flame
Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Aly Michalka also walk the sapphire carpet. By Terri Schwartz Taylor Swift Photo: Jason Merritt/ Getty Images The theme was “Hollywood chic” on Wednesday night (January 5) at the People’s Choice Awards, and all the stars stepped out in their best to celebrate the favorite movies, television shows and musicians of 2010. Los Angeles was a bit chilly, but mini-dresses abounded on the sapphire carpet. Taylor Swift wore a short princess-style light-pink dress and donned a traditional updo. Justin Bieber’s new girlfriend, Selena Gomez , also went the light-pink route, but her short dress had a bit more pop with its giant frill on her right shoulder. “90210″ star AnnaLynne McCord wore a very traditional blue sapphire dress that matched the carpet with a cowl front and an open back and appropriate gold heels. But it wasn’t only the girls turning heads on the red carpet. Zac Efron showed off his new short haircut and wore a black tux with matching vest and blue tie. New father Neil Patrick Harris went tie-less but still rocked the traditional look, while “Nikita” star Shane West also went the classic route. His co-stars, Lyndsy Fonseca and Maggie Q, followed his lead, both donning little black dresses. The Kardashian sisters showed up in style to represent their hit show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Kim Kardashian sported a gorgeous updo and strapless gold patterned dress with a matching necklace and beige shoes. Kourtney wore a similarly styled brown strapless short dress with white patterns covering it. Khlo
Pushing the critics aside and clearly on board with Kendall Jenner#39;s sister’s decision to model, Kim showered Kendall with praise and encouragement: “There’s no doubt in my mind that Kendall will be doing big things professionally and I can’t wait to see where this road takes her. She’s hardworking, driven and SO talented at such a young age,” wrote Kim. ”I think she has a long and successful career ahead of her. I’m honestly bursting with pride!!!” Despite the recent controversy surround
The rather mature statement Kendall Jenner released last week regarding her controversial bikini pictorial isn’t enough for Bruce Jenner. That former Olympian has spoken out himself in defense of his daughter, saying he doesn’t understand why she received any flak at all for posing in a bathing suit. “She wasn’t showing anything that was inappropriate – you know, too much cleavage or anything like that,” he sais. “They were just like hot shots … I saw the pictures and I said, ‘OK.’ If that is what she wants to do – she wants to be a model – then more power to her.” That is definitely what the 14-year old wants to do, as step-sister Kim Kardashian released the following new pictures (courtesy of photographer Nick Saglimbeni) on her blog this week: Kendall Jenner wants to follow in her siblings’ modeling footsteps. That’s fine. But let’s just keep her away from Ray J.
We take it back. Charice undergoing Botox treatment may not have been this week’s Sign of the Apocalypse . Instead, that dishonor falls to Kendall Jenner and her most recent set of modeling photos. The 14-year old half-sister of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian signed a professional contract a year ago. She posed for her first official shoot in January, bidding her childhood goodbye and wasting little time entering the world that has produced millions of dollars for her family, along with an equal number of critics who can’t believe fans of these people actually exist. As seen here, Kendall is doing her best impression of her older siblings, donning beachwear for photographer Nick Saglimbeni. Kim, naturally, sees nothing wrong with a 14-year old striking such poses. “I am so proud of Kendall. She’s going to take over the modeling world… you just watch,” Kim blogged last week. “She is truly an inspiration to all young girls out there… follow your dreams, work hard and your efforts will pay off.” Right. Because Kendall clearly worked oh so very hard to accomplish this goal. The youngin has made it clear she wants to emulate the careers of Kim and company – but don’t get any ideas, Ray J. Put down that phone and put away that video camera. She’s only 14 years old. These shots of Kendall Jenner make the outfits worn by Miley Cyrus seem mature and appropriate by comparison.