ABC viewers learned on The Bachelorette this week what Comedy Central fans have known for awhile now: Amy Schumer rules all. The comedian made a special appearance on the latest installment of this ABC reality series, offering advice to various suitors on how to be funny… and totally putting JJ in his place . Look, there’s Schumer posing for a selfie with star Kaitlyn Bristowe ! So now that everyone knows how hilarious (and how single!) Schumer is, ABC is posing a very simple question: Why can’t Amy Schumer be the next Bachelorette?!? With buzz building over the blonde beauty, Robert Mills (the SVP of Alternative Series, Specials and Late-Night Programming for ABC Entertainment) Tweeted this afternoon: “OK here is the official offer to @amyschumer to become #TheBachelorette. Just say yes and we start tomorrow. #DraftAmy.” Ummm… please say yes, Amy. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please say yes Amy. What do you think, readers? Should Amy Schumer be the next The Bachelorette? YES! Of course! Why not?!? View Poll » NOTE: If you missed her in action, go watch The Bachelorette online now! View Slideshow: The Bachelorette Stars Ranked By Relationship Length
As Stephen Colbert so often warned us during his Comedy Central talk show days, bears can be really scary. Even those who take a dip in your family swimming pool aren't exactly meant to be actual house pets. But what happens when you're casually strolling along? And then you turn the corner of a house? And a bear is directly in your presence? Heck, what happens you're casually strolling along? And then you turn the corner of a house? And a MAN is directly in your presence?!? The above video features two creatures coming upon one another at the same time… and having the same hilarious reaction. Check it out now!
When Justin Bieber apologized to his fans in a recent self-recorded video, it ushered in the era of the kinder, gentler Biebs. Yesterday, Justin referred to himself as a “douche bag” and promised to change his ways during an appearance on Ellen, and he’s even been exchanging pleasantries with the same paparazzi who used to send him into fits of rage. Perhaps he’s trying to rescue his public image, or maybe he’s discovered a mellower strain of weed. Hell, maybe he really just woke up one day and realized he’d been acting like a world-class knob for the entirety of his adult life. Whatever the case, Justin’s spent the last few years stomping around Hollywood in sneakers that cost more than your car, and he’s left a long trail of destruction in his wake. As much as he might want to make things right, Bieber may not be able to escape his past as easily as he had hoped. Remember when Justin egged his neighbor’s house ? It was just one of many idiotic decisions JB made in 2014, and he probably thought he’d be able to put the incident behind him after shelling out (no pun intended) $80,000 for repairs. But now the victim, a Calabasas resident named Jeff Schwartz, is suing for emotional distress, claiming that months before the egging, Bieber and his bodyguards hurled epithets at him and his wife, resulting in emotional distress. In the suit, obtained by TMZ, Schwartz recalls an incident in which he politely asked Bieber to stop racing his Ferrari through the neighborhood. He says Bieber cursed at him, and one of his bodyguards threateningly shouted, “What are you gonna do about it, Jew boy?” Yikes. Sounds like Justin has a lot more atoning to do before he can move on. The public humiliation that he’s sure to suffer at his Comedy Central Roast might speed the healing process along. 21 Justin Bieber Burns from the Comedy Central Roast 1. Justin Bieber Roast: Who Said What? View Photo ROASTED! Read on to relive the best very burns, disses, one-liners and insults from the Justin Bieber Roast on Comedy Central. 2. Kevin Hart View Photo Bieber has 10 million fans – most are in middle schools, or standing at least 500 feet away from one. 3. Ludacris View Photo You act so much like a pussy, Ellen tried to eat you. 4. Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy) View Photo I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 5. Hannibal Buress Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy. 6. Shaquille O’Neal View Photo You have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people. 7. Natasha Legerro Justin’s fan are called beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards. 8. Chris D’Elia You literally are a guy who has it all, except respect, love, good parents, and a Grammy. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 9. Martha Stewart View Photo Let’s get to the reason I’m here: to give Justin some tips for when he inevitably ends up in prison… The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower. 10. Jeffrey Ross View Photo Seth Rogen thinks you’re a conceited piece of sh-t… and he hangs out with James Franco. 11. Jeffrey Ross on Selena Gomez Banging Bieber It proves “Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” 12. Ludacris Again Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 13. Pete Davidson My castmate on SNL, Kate McKinnon, does a perfect impression of Justin. Right down to the clit. 14. Shaq on Kevin Hart Kevin is the only celebrity with a star on the yellow brick road. 15. Kevin Hart Again View Photo Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here. 16. Natasha Leggero on Hart Kevin, you look like someone put 50 Cent in the dryer. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 17. Pete Davidson on Martha Stewart Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance. 18. Martha Stewart Slam! View Photo I’ve come up with a douche that no one has ever heard of, you know, like Chris D’Elia. 19. Chris D’Elia Again Those Calvin Klein billboards you were made are terrible. And I was in Whitney. 20. Natasha Leggero on Hart… Again Kevin, you are everywhere. He is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s going to play Peter Dinklage’s shadow. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 21. Jeffrey Ross on Stewart Martha Stewart, I want to f-ck you so bad. I bet your pubic hair is fifty shades of gray. 22. Justin Bieber View Photo What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours. The End. Up Next: ” 21 Justin Bieber Burns from the Comedy Central Roast .” We’ll be redirecting you shortly…
Hosted by Kevin Hart, the “Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber” also featured appearances from Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, and Martha Stewart of all people. The night was hosted by comedian Kevin Hart and, at the end of the show, Justin took time to apologize for his past actions.
Justin Bieber has been officially roasted – and totally, completely, entirely, painfully toasted. Comedy Central taped the much-hyped Justin Bieber Roast last night, with comedian Kevin Hart emceeing an event that tore the singer apart. There were jokes about Bieber’s sexuality. About his attempts to come across as tough. About his relationship with Selena Gomez . And about his many run-ins with the laws. Nothing was off limits, and very little was rated PG. Consider yourself warned as you click through the night’s best quips and insults: 21 Justin Bieber Burns from the Comedy Central Roast 1. Justin Bieber Roast: Who Said What? View Photo ROASTED! Read on to relive the best very burns, disses, one-liners and insults from the Justin Bieber Roast on Comedy Central. 2. Kevin Hart View Photo Bieber has 10 million fans – most are in middle schools, or standing at least 500 feet away from one. 3. Ludacris View Photo You act so much like a pussy, Ellen tried to eat you. 4. Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy) View Photo I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 5. Hannibal Buress Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy. 6. Shaquille O’Neal View Photo You have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people. 7. Natasha Legerro Justin’s fan are called beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards. 8. Chris D’Elia You literally are a guy who has it all, except respect, love, good parents, and a Grammy. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 9. Martha Stewart View Photo Let’s get to the reason I’m here: to give Justin some tips for when he inevitably ends up in prison… The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower. 10. Jeffrey Ross View Photo Seth Rogen thinks you’re a conceited piece of sh-t… and he hangs out with James Franco. 11. Jeffrey Ross on Selena Gomez Banging Bieber It proves “Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” 12. Ludacris Again Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 13. Pete Davidson My castmate on SNL, Kate McKinnon, does a perfect impression of Justin. Right down to the clit. 14. Shaq on Kevin Hart Kevin is the only celebrity with a star on the yellow brick road. 15. Kevin Hart Again View Photo Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here. 16. Natasha Leggero on Hart Kevin, you look like someone put 50 Cent in the dryer. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 17. Pete Davidson on Martha Stewart Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance. 18. Martha Stewart Slam! View Photo I’ve come up with a douche that no one has ever heard of, you know, like Chris D’Elia. 19. Chris D’Elia Again Those Calvin Klein billboards you were made are terrible. And I was in Whitney. 20. Natasha Leggero on Hart… Again Kevin, you are everywhere. He is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s going to play Peter Dinklage’s shadow. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 21. Jeffrey Ross on Stewart Martha Stewart, I want to f-ck you so bad. I bet your pubic hair is fifty shades of gray. 22. Justin Bieber View Photo What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours. The End. Up Next: ” 21 Justin Bieber Burns from the Comedy Central Roast .” We’ll be redirecting you shortly… After stars such as Ludacris, Martha Stewart and Shaquille O’Neal laid into him, Bieber was able to get the last word in, however. “Damn, you guys were brutal,” he said at the end of the Roast. “This was supposed to be a birthday present. When people ask me what I got for my 21st birthday, I’ll tell them I got my dick kicked in.” The singer, who is clearly aiming to rehab his image , then grew serious. “I lost some of my best qualities,” he said, referencing his behavior from the past year or so and adding: “I’m looking forward to being someone you’re proud of.. You have my word, I will not end up broken, pathetic, bitter, or sitting on someone else’s roast. I’m at a moment of change. This is a new day.” The Justin Bieber Roast will air at 10/9c on Comedy Central on Monday, March 30.
From ‘too soon’ jaw-droppers to a surprise celeb stage crasher, Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central roast was four hours of nonstop jabs at the ‘King Joffrey of pop.’
Comedy Central Presents: Justin Bieber Roast Hosted By Kevin Hart Well we been roasting Justin Bieber and now Comedy Central has decided to join in on the…
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