Tag Archives: misfortune

Dennis Rodman: I Broke My Penis – THREE TIMES!

In his NBA days, Dennis Rodman was nicknamed “the Worm.” Now we know he didn’t earn that moniker because of his vigilant efforts to protect the appendage between his legs. Rodman sat for an interview with the Viceland TV network recently, and instead of discussing his bizarre friendship with Kim Jong-Un , the two-time NBA All-Star focused on an even more cringeworthy topic. It seems Dennis Rodman has had the misfortune of breaking his penis on three separate occasions. The first time, Rodman was drinking and doing drugs on a yacht, which we imagine is a pretty typical day in the life of Dennis Rodman. After an ill-advised experiment involving “running and jumping” and landing in position for sex, well … we’ll just let him tell it: Dennis Rodman Shares Broken Penis Stories “She’s screaming and screaming, ‘Oh my God, he’s dead,’” Rodman recalled. “I said, ‘No, honey, I just broke my dick.’” The unfortunate sequels to that story are like Jaws II and III: They’re every bit as bloody, but not quite as entertaining. Naturally, all those dong fractures have taken a toll on Rodman’s worm. He says the thing now rocks a zig-zag shape, which the ladies seem to find pleasing. Well, whatever the case, it seems Dennis knows a thing or two about crooked penises. We’ll resist the urge to draw a connection between that fact and  Rodman’s recent endorsement of Donald Trump . Maybe he just likes things that unexpectedly go in different directions a lot! View Slideshow: 21 Stars with Especially Big Penises

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Dennis Rodman: I Broke My Penis – THREE TIMES!

Kylie Jenner: I’m Not Engaged to Tyga!

Kylie Jenner started engagement rumors this weekend … and then proceeded to shoot down engagement rumors this weekend. The 18-year-old Keeping Up with the Kardashians star shared a photo of a dazzling diamond ring on December 25, likely aware that fans would start wondering in response whether she had agreed to marry her 26-year old boyfriend, Tyga. But then Kylie jumped on her official app yesterday and wrote the following in response to this chatter: “Every year my Mom throws a huge Christmas Eve party and this year’s was so fun (and sparkly)! It was really special to end such a big year celebrating with all of my friends and family … and with an extra special gift from a special someone.” Okay, granted. That didn’t exactly clear up any engagement talk. So Jenner got more specific: “NO, I’m not engaged :)” Despite allegations of a break up just a few weeks ago, Kylie and Tyga appear to be stronger than ever. Jenner posted a photo collage of her rapping boyfriend on Snapchat just a couple days prior to Christmas, though she also supposedly thinks Tyga sucks in bed . That would be too bad if true. But if Kylie is sticking with someone despite a reportedly terrible sex life, we need to give her props for not being shallow. View Slideshow: Kylie Jenner & Tyga Photos: The Way They Were … Are? (Who the Heck Knows)

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Kylie Jenner: I’m Not Engaged to Tyga!

Taylor Swift Dresses as Elf, Wins Christmas

Who knew that smiling was one of Taylor Swift’s favorite things? Who knew that she considered syrup to be a major food group and that she was scared of yellow taxi cabs? All these facts and many more appear to be true after Swift dressed up as an elf for Christmas this year. The superstar singer shared the above photo on her Instagram account, although she didn’t include with it a reference to the classic Will Ferrell movie. Instead, she gave a hilarious shout-out to Drake’s recent track, “Hotline Bling.” You used to call me on my Elf phone , Swift wrote as a caption. Come on, T. Swizzle. It’s not enough that you win every significant music awards out there? You also must win Christmas, too? The artist spent some time previous to December 25 building a snowman with boyfriend Calvin Harris , while she once again acted as a hero and hung out with a cancer patient prior to that fun act. In other words: Taylor Swift continues to simply win at everything in 2015. Christmas. Acts of admiration. Throwback Thursday . Perhaps Taylor will slow down in 2016 and take a break from being totally and completely awesome. But does anyone really want to bet against her? View Slideshow: Taylor Swift Instagram Photos: This Singer Has Style!

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Taylor Swift Dresses as Elf, Wins Christmas

Jessie James Decker: 13 Photos of Country’s Hottest Star!

If you're a fan of country music, the NFL, or just ridiculously photogenic couples, you're probably familiar with the Deckers. Eric Decker is a longtime NFL wide receiver who's currently with the New York Jets. Jessie James Decker is a singer who gets as much attention for her seductive selfies as for her catchy country-pop jams. Eric may provide plenty of sideline eye candy for female football fans when he takes his helmet off, but today we're focusing on Jessie – and her girl-next-door good looks. A mother of two, Jessie has shared photos of her post-baby body , not to boast about the progress she's made, but to remind other new moms that pregnancy takes a toll, and they shouldn't feel pressured to head straight back to the gym. Jessie has shared breastfeeding photos in response to the public shaming of moms who have the gall to feed their hungry babies wherever and whenever it's necessary. So today, we celebrate Jessie as one of the Internet's foremost MILFs. You're one lucky dude, Eric – even if you do have the misfortune to play for the Jets.  Just kidding, Jets fans! 1. Jessie James Decker: Hot in Flannel Jessie James Decker can make flannel sexy. That’s no easy feat. 2. Jessie James Decker Butt Selfie Jessie strikes a Kardashian pose and advertises her swimsuit line at the same time. We are definitely not complaining. 3. Jessie James Decker Cleavage Photo Jessie posts a lot of bikini selfies. Not that she needs an excuse, but she used her IG page to advertise her swimsuit line. 4. Jessie James Decker Devours Cheetos Jessie is the kid of girl who posts a photo of herself eating Cheetos. And for that, we thank her. 5. Jessie James Decker Bikini and Baby Selfie Jessie poses with her daughter. Gotta love the matching bikinis. 6. Jessie James Decker Close-Up Selfie Like we said, Jessie posts a lot of selfies. Here, she shows us that she looks just as flawless in extreme close-up. View Slideshow

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Jessie James Decker: 13 Photos of Country’s Hottest Star!

Maria Menounos’ Vagina Quit Extra to Publicize Her Reality Show of the Day

Everyone always obsesses over Maria Menounos ‘ 35 year old ass, without factoring in that she is Greek and that that ass is actually her vagina and that that ass has more mileage, while the real gold is in her actual vagina, that takes a backseat to her Greek vagina that she goes Greek with… That said, she’s quit Extra, a show I had the misfortune of watching the other day, leaving me in a puddle of blood and sadness from trying to cut off my own penis because it was better than the smut mainstream media was shoving down the throats of the hicks that watched this shit… She’s decided to go onto other things, like a Shitty reality show…that is probably as smut filled as her Extra reporting on celebrities, only now she’s going to be the celebrity they are reporting on and that’s good for her want to be famous ego… While I figure her best performance already happened – with this THROWBACK VAGINA SLIP

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Maria Menounos’ Vagina Quit Extra to Publicize Her Reality Show of the Day

Lea Michele That Dude From Glee Gets Half Naked ANd Old Hollywood for Allure of the Day

I cannot believe I am posting this shit….Seriously….I think Glee is the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing and whether this high school gay icon, the Barbara Streisand / Bette Midler of this generation, with pretty much the same level of sex appeal as both those Jewish idols of hers….and whether she can sing or not…she’s got a face only a gay guy could jerk off to….leading me to wonder if her non-discript genitals are more boy or girl…not that it matters… What matters is that dude talking about styling her hair is more erotic than seeing her half naked in picture…. Here’s the ass in 60′s lingerie pic….for you tranny lovers… But To See THe Rest of the Pics FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Lea Michele That Dude From Glee Gets Half Naked ANd Old Hollywood for Allure of the Day

Shenae Grimes Fat Useless GUNT of the Day

I call Shenae Grimes useless and I mean it. I had the misfortune of meeting useless Shenae Grimes last year….and I had no idea who she was until after I was told. I think I actually called her a groupie slut cuz she was with a guy I know who has a following…. So here is this Canadian nobody, who has gone all 90210 showing off her swollen gunt, I can only assume is pregnancy or laziness and trust me when I say…there is nothing hot about her at all. I’ve seen it first hand… I just like reminding those 5 of you who know who she is and think she’s hot cuz she has a vagina.

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Shenae Grimes Fat Useless GUNT of the Day

Jim Carrey Pokes Fun at Outrage Over His Tiger Tweets

If you’re putting a lot of stock into what Jim Carrey writes on Twitter about Tiger Woods… Well, that’s your misfortune. “To anyone whose grievances have chosen me as their…

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Jim Carrey Pokes Fun at Outrage Over His Tiger Tweets

South Dakota legislators give stupid a bad name.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news , world news , and news about the economy See actually these guys are brilliant. They knew that all they had to do was string a bunch of sciency-like words together, that all ended in “logical”, and people would not notice that the resolution they just passed did not make any damn sense. Especially if those “people” had the misfortune of getting their education from the South Dakota school district. Let me guess. The people of South Dakota just LOVE Sarah Palin, don’t they?

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South Dakota legislators give stupid a bad name.