Tag Archives: never-realized

Marina Mayer Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

I want you perverts to meet my latest Russian Insta-hottie find:  Marina Mayer . According to my research, Marina’s from Moscow and you know, I never realized they had such nice beaches in Moscow before. It’s either that, or Marina’s already found a sugar daddy to take her away on bikini vacations. Which is too bad for me, but hey, at least the pictures make a pretty good consolation prize. Enjoy. » view all 12 photos Continue reading

Micaela Schaefer Should Hire Me!

Here’s the world’s best-dressed nobody  Micaela Schaefer putting on one of her best outfits yet for a photoshoot: an electrical tape bikini. And I never realized that Micaela’s electrical tape applier was an actual job before this. But now that I do, forget this whole blogging business, I think I’ve finally found my true calling. Now, where do I apply? Whatever I might lack in experience, I think I’d more than make up for in enthusiasm. » view all 13 photos

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Micaela Schaefer Should Hire Me!

Hailey Clauson Does Terry Richardson Good!

I guess I’m not the only one who realizes that Hailey Clauson has what it takes to become the next big thing in the modeling world (and by that I mean an awesome set of funbags), because here she is doing a seriously sexy photoshoot for Terry Richardson. At this point, I’m not really sure what Kate Upton could even do to reclaim her title as the Tuna’s favorite busty blonde, but I’m open to suggestions, and my phone takes great pictures. I’m just saying.

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Hailey Clauson Does Terry Richardson Good!

Kelly Brook And One Lucky Pooch

As you all know, no hottie is ever able to resist a cute pooch — it’s one of the major reasons I became a dog owner in the first place — and here’s Kelly Brook proving that by stopping to bend over to pet one, and giving us a pretty great booty profile and leg show in the process. I never realized Kelly was a dog lover before, but now that I know, I’d love to set up a playdate for her with my pup. And I’ll make sure to bring my camera too. » view all 38 photos Photos: WENN.com

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Kelly Brook And One Lucky Pooch

Michelle Rodriguez for AIDS of the Day

Michelle Rodriguez showed off her tits at some amFAR Aids event hat I assume is some overpriced event that costs millions to put on, to give the top tier people great parties to attend and feel better about themselves at…while giving lower levels something to try to sneak into…all while raising money for AIDS…because AIDS needs money to buy houseboys off craigslist… Now I never realized Michelle Rodriguez had tits, but that’s probably cuz I was distracted by her dick…a dick worth embracing, especially at an AIDS event…because even Trannies get aids, especially the gutter street ones that are used by married “straight men”…in back alleys….they are often broken, confused and addicted to drugs…where condoms while getting raped by perverts don’t always come into play… All this to say, I have never fucked a tranny, I find Trannies weird and unhuman, but I would still be friends with a tranny, since I’ve never really cared what gender underwear my friends wear, or really what my friends put in their ass..I’m so modern… That’s not to say Michelle Rodriguez is a tranny…it’s to say she may be one…but then again so could most lesbians… TO SEE ALL THE CELEBS AT THE AMFAR EVENT CLICK HERE

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Michelle Rodriguez for AIDS of the Day

Victoria Justice Works A Cob

Bananas, definitely. Lollipops, a classic. But I never realized that corn on the cob could be a sexy food before, I guess because I’d never seen Victoria Justice eating it. But after these pictures of one of my favorite hotties showing off her sexy stomach while having some corn, it’s definitely got me in the mood to get in that backseat with Victoria and get busy helping her floss the kernels out of her teeth. I know, pretty hot, right? » view all 12 photos Photos: Fameflynet

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Victoria Justice Works A Cob

Victoria Justice Works A Cob

Bananas, definitely. Lollipops, a classic. But I never realized that corn on the cob could be a sexy food before, I guess because I’d never seen Victoria Justice eating it. But after these pictures of one of my favorite hotties showing off her sexy stomach while having some corn, it’s definitely got me in the mood to get in that backseat with Victoria and get busy helping her floss the kernels out of her teeth. I know, pretty hot, right? » view all 12 photos Photos: Fameflynet

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Victoria Justice Works A Cob

Leilani Dowding Is The Sexiest Scientologist

Here’s hot nobody  Leilani Dowding leaving a morning class at The Church Of Scientology Celebrity Centre in LA. I never realized she was a Scientologist before, but then again, I still can’t remember why she’s famous, besides for having an awesome body. Anyway, I know I’ve got to watch what I say about Scientology, because I don’t want Tom Cruise after me. So I’ll just say this: at least it’s only the second-most embarrassing place we’ve seen Leilani leaving recently . And if she really wants to become a big Hollywood star this badly, she should come to the free evening classes in my mom’s basement. I provide refreshments, a comfortable bed, and best of all, nobody talks about aliens. Photos: Fameflynet

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Leilani Dowding Is The Sexiest Scientologist

Hayden Panettiere’s Funbags Are Great Dog Cushions

If you read this site regularly, you guys know that I love dogs. And since I also love funbags, I’m obviously a big fan of this picture Hayden Panettiere tweeted. I’ve always said that those things would make for great pillows, but I never realized they’d also make such good dog cushions. There’s a potential for big business here if Hayden ever decided to start marketing them. I’m sure my pooch would love it. Obviously, I’d want to test them out myself beforehand though. Safety first, right? Related Articles: Hayden Panettiere’s New Big Boobs Are Hollywood Tuna Approved! Hayden Panettiere Likes Her Man Meat Hayden Panettiere And Her Little Cupcakes Hayden Panettiere’s Little Hand Holds A Big Cup

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Hayden Panettiere’s Funbags Are Great Dog Cushions

Kanye West Video Game: You Too Can Be Yeezus!

Everyone has been wondering what it would take for the Kanye West beating of paparazzi incidents to end. Apparently it’s a wormhole to the year 3030. Thanks to RPGMaker, someone out there has made a Kanye West video game where you play as the infamous rapper. This is not a joke people, this is real life. Check out the  Kanye Quest 3030 trailer below! Kanye Quest 3030 Trailer I never realized, until this moment, how badly I wanted to play as Kanye West in a Pokemon-esque rap battle with a Tupac Shakur clone. I can’t express how happy I am that this can really happen. Even better? You can download the game from the Kanye Quest 3030 tumblr page and be playing in a matter of minutes.  No word yet on when the Kim Kardashian DLC comes out.

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Kanye West Video Game: You Too Can Be Yeezus!