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It’s always nice to see an alleged wife beater, liar and drug user rewarded with millions of dollars, isn’t it? Following a series of contract negotiations , Charlie Sheen and CBS have reached a new deal that will keep the trouble actor on Two and a Half Men for at least two more seasons. Thank goodness, too. What would we have done without this incredibly lame sitcom otherwise? “To put a fitting end on the two and one-half months of whirlwind speculation, I’m looking forward to returning to my CBS home on Monday nights,” Sheen said in a statement. The terms of the contract have not been disclosed, but rumors state Sheen may make as much as $1.3 million per episode. As for the charges that he assaulted ( soon-to-be-ex ) wife Brooke Mueller in December, sources say a plea bargain is on the table that would have Sheen serving 45 days in Aspen’s Pitkin County Jail. There’s just one hold-up, Us Weekly claims : The actor’s lawyer has been asking local law enforcement to make an exception to the jail’s no-smoking policy. We’re not making that up. Multiple insiders confirm the Aspen County District Attorney has offered Sheen a deal that would place him behind bars for six weeks. In exchange, prosecutors would drop the felony charge in return for a misdemeanor guilty plea. However, Sheen’s legal team wants to limit the amount of probation/parole so that if the stars gets in trouble again, he won’t end up in jail for a lot longer. Sorry, that should read WHEN the star gets in trouble again.

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Charlie Sheen: Staying on Sitcom, Yearning to Smoke