Tag Archives: assholes-trying

Gigi Hadid Satanic Ritual of the Day

I would assume that this is Gigi Hadid doing doing some kind of satanic rituals….maybe one where she sells her soul to the devil…to become the next Kardashian…or maybe, she’s just killed off three instagram models, and stole all their followers, to make her a relevant thing….and this is the ceremony that happens at…but you’d probably assume the deal with the devil was made with her model fucking father, who has more money than god, when he decided to make his baby a model instead of putting her to actual work, because why not have fun every day, all while making him proud… Because when you’re a rich kid, you don’t need to do much work to get to the Gigi level…you just need to show up, and the satanic ritual we see is probably her maid set it up for her and will put it away for her, because she just wanted some mood lighting…or something….involving bringing in a girl, not sacrificiing one…who cares Here she is for Top Shop….looking average, but when her trust fund gets factored in, looking like a model and social media influencer…that gets people to write up on her without even trying – because we are pathetic. The post Gigi Hadid Satanic Ritual of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Gigi Hadid Satanic Ritual of the Day

Kylie Jenner Loves Brown Phallus of the Day

I wish I was sucked into Kylie Jenner as much as the rest of the world, but I am more compelled by her snapchat than I should be. I don’t even follow her shit, I’m lazy, but anything good ends up on the internet, and it’s always weird enough for me to watch…partially because she looks like a 40 year old mom or pornstar with bad plastic surgery, something she probably got from her sister, who is old enough to be her mom….but she also does all this hip hop dancing…and showing off her tits…and in this edition, eating a pastry that is fed to her by one of her friends who is her friend because she’s Kylie Jenner, or is on payroll, as these things happen… It may not be as remarkable as her getting gas for the paparzzi, but I think it is, and this is probably all just a snapchat campaign….that I hope ends up in her own snapchat sex video, because that’s her family responsibility she’s been training for all her life….because I guess fucking black dudes is good for business…it reminds me of that Sandra Bullock movie where they adopt the black kid to get into the NFL because their own white kid is too homo….you know…living out that dream… Doesn’t matter, because the sex tape hasn’t happened, even if Khloe Kardashian admits to listening to them have sex…paving they way for the inevitable snap porn, but these snapchats speak to that…a little preview if you will, just imagine the chocolate phallus was 4 times the size… Here’s a few more… On and the Gas Pumping pics people loved yesterday… The post Kylie Jenner Loves Brown Phallus of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kylie Jenner Loves Brown Phallus of the Day

Kate Moss for Love Magazine of the Day

Kate Moss is my favorite, and I guess also the favorite of a lot of people, and I am not really sure why the world loves her, but I know why I love her, and that’s because she was a big deal in the 90s, pretty much banged out every dude, had a kid in the process that she probably has never met, because she’s too busy living the good life, full of toplessness and partying… It’s like I’ve seen her nipples, her relaly long nipples, consistently…well into her 50s, I assume she’s 50…and she’s still bringing them out and looking amazing doing it… I guess the whole Kate Moss won’t die…and will never die…because she’s a fucking legend, has something to do with being hot, but more to do with her just getting paid millions to be in photoshoots, just doing her thing, before everything was public and people were doing every move in a calculated, to be seen and to get followers kind of way… Plus, I am all about her ripping lines of cocaine, having unprotected sex with rockstars you know do heroin, just embodying “cool”..before cool was a calculated thing….filled will assholes trying too fucking hard…to be liked, or noticed…I’m talking to you Cara Delevingne you fame wanting cunt… Here she is in a magazine like she’s not 100 years old, because she’s not, she’s immortal.. The post Kate Moss for Love Magazine of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kate Moss for Love Magazine of the Day

Lauren Hastings Titties for Jason Lee Perry of the Day

I am Facebook friends with photographer Jason Lee Perry, so I’ve seen a lot of his pics over the years… I am also Facebook friends with Lauren Hastings, and I have been for a very very long time, we’ve had a bunch of what were probably creepy conversations, but have never actually met in person, which is probably one of life’s great tragedies, because based on these topless pics of her, I would totally try to get her pregnant…and spend the rest of my life with her… I think our love affair started back in 2007 when Lauren was just an LA girl doing the occasional commercial modelling job, who had her clothes stolen by Lohan, something I would totally do, if it was dirty…preferably panties, back when Lohan was just starting out with her stealing shit from people…and It started from being ignored by her then, to being ignored by her now, we’re here…she’s worked the scene proper, has far more followers and relevance even though she’s older and I believe she’s gonna seriously, finally, hit big…and I support that because girls who ignore me turn me on the most, especially when I can stare at their titties… She’s hot enough to pull it off, and I like staring at her hipster nudes…now I just need to figure out how to make her love me… Here’s their lovely shoot that I want to get pregnant…

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Lauren Hastings Titties for Jason Lee Perry of the Day

Georgia May Jagger for Terry Richardson of the Day

I am a fan of Georgia May Jagger and her model/rockstar genes, not because I’ve been a Rolling Stone fan for years and want to experience the least gay way to get to genetically the same lips as Jagger, something I am sure Gene Simmons’ daughter goes through with his crazy fans all the time….and not because I am I’m old enough to really remember Jerry Hall’s modelling, because she was working in a time when I was probably having sex with Mexican prostitutes in Mexico, and not reading the fashion magazines like some kind of poofter…I am a fan of Georgia May Jagger because she’s got a great name, and an even better look, her trust fund may also make her the kind of girl you’d want to K-Fed, but I am more into the fact that she isn’t a fame whore or gold digger, she’s got money and is just being hot for her own hustle, which to me is amazing…she was probably raised to be awesome, around cool people, in cool places, with the perfect level of daddy issues from him never being around, to understanding that guys like to spread their seed across many women…not to mention she’s been knee deep in the party forever…making her the prized fuckin hen at the county fair we call life…and I want to get her pregnant…if only the internet could make that love happen for me

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Georgia May Jagger for Terry Richardson of the Day

Back of Truck Comedian Fail of the Day

I don’t know where this video was shot, or when it was shot, I just know it happened, it is in another immigrant language and it’s ridiculous. From my deep investigative journalism approach to this video, I watched it and saw a topless dude trying to make people laugh with some chick he was in the back of a truck with, in what I assumed was going to be a little public sex video that I would have definitely watched, but rather became a fail video, that I will still watch, because lets face it, assholes trying to be funny, getting owned by fate, make them actually funny..which is ultimately what they were going for, it just happened in a better way that their retard ass intended for it…. If you don’t like that, here’s a dude ambushing his neighbor’s dog with an air horn to keep it from crapping in the yard… Or maybe you prefer this Woman Driver

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Back of Truck Comedian Fail of the Day

Stoners Love When Wasps Eat Bees of the Day

Sure, nature can be pretty fascinating, I mean at least a lot more fascinating than watching a bunch of assholes trying to get laid in the club, because animals actually fuck each other up…and not go to jail for it, while I can just pretend all those assholes with their bottle service and gold digging girls dancing on tables would be eaten in half by some other species while listening to bad music…. But I don’t think I’d be filming it like it mattered…or more importantly getting as excited about it as these guys, but it still made me laugh and I am ready for the Auto Tune…

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Stoners Love When Wasps Eat Bees of the Day

Drunk Rihanna at the Kings of Leon Concert of the Day

All my predictions are coming true…Rihanna is a fucking mess and it is fucking amazing…. Whenever I think of this bitch, I try to put myself in her shoes, not because I have a woman’s shoe fetish, you know the kind of guy who sniffs and fucks expensive designer shoes, but because every once in a while, mainly when I see her pictures, I try to understand how someone from the fucking ghetto of the Caribbean islands deals with making 100 million dollars a year, interest alone on that shit is more than the entire city of Bridgetown combines makes, making her in a pretty fucked up position, in a pretty fucked up place, where getting wasted to the point of not standing doesn’t matter, it is probably the least of her concerns while all the leeching assholes trying to get a piece of her ignorant, uneducated puppet ass…are more of an issue…but I guess this is the gateway to a bigger meltdown, that I would blame Kings of Leon for it…cuz I blame Kings of Leon for everything wrong in the world…from Lily Aldridge to my next wife’s inability to commit, but not for the impending premature death of Rihanna, that shit’s all her own doing…thanks to her addiction to fame and fortune…The American way… Here is a pic of her in her bikini for those of you who prefer half naked Rihanna to drunk Rihanna, when I prefer a bit of both, it leads to bad decision making.

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Drunk Rihanna at the Kings of Leon Concert of the Day