Tag Archives: central-park

It has been snowing since yesterday morning. It is not the Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon or Snowicane. It is just snow. It happens every year. And it is awesome, glorious, and beautiful. But when it’s done being those things, it sucks. So please quit bitching when it snows, and the news needs to stop making it sound like the end of the world every time a little precipitation descends on us. The only time when white powder is a threat to the public safety is when it is Anthrax in some taped-up, ratty-looking envelope mailed to the mayor’s office. We don’t need to remind you, but you live in New York City, and it snows here. It happens every winter, more than once, and sometimes a lot all at the same time. You’re going to get through it. No one will die (well, almost no one ) and you will not starve sitting in your apartment waiting for the plows to clear the streets so that the FreshDirect boy can whisk your groceries up to your apartment with his muddy boots. The city has pretty much shut down. It’s a real, actual show day . That is great, because it never happens and you should take this respite before the hastened pace of spring takes over with its bike rides, barbecues, and beautiful weather. But the weather right now isn’t so bad. It’s not too cold or windy. The streets look picturesque as the flakes rain down and you can spin in the street, round and round under the flurries, just like Winona Ryder in Edwards Scissorhands with her blonde wig whipping around as her hands lash out and grasp at the falling ice right before the town turns on Edward and everything goes to shit. That’s kind of what happens with snow too. After a few days in the house, you’re going to be sick of your boyfriend/roommate/husband/kids/snoring dog. The Netflix will be finished and all the good snacks eaten. Every time you cross an intersection there will be a deep puddle on the other side. You’ll be stuck wearing crappy outfits because you don’t want to ruin your nice shoes (well, unless you work at GQ ). Some people have it bad already. You can’t get to work, planes have been canceled, the place down the street with the good bagels closed early. Our very own Alex Pareene tried to come into the office today until a group of errant thugs threw him head first into a snow drift! (OK, that didn’t really happen, but he still gave up on the messy sidewalks and the messed-up subway and went back home to work from his couch and fix himself appletinis all day. We’re sure you have plenty of horrible stories to share with us about your commute and shoveling and being stuck. Please, share them in the comments. But you also have lots of fun stories about snowball fights and lying in front of the fire lazily watching the Olympics on TV and that really hot hooker you ordered up from Craigslist who gave you a discount because things aren’t so busy today. Share those, too! Along with pictures and anything else you want. It’s a snow day! The rules are off and we are here for revelry…and bitching. [ Images via Flickr/NYHispano and Flickr/Marilyn Cvitanic ]

More here:
Snow Day: Your Horror Stories Are Welcome [Shut Up, Snow]