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Mike Sorrentino Opens Up on Life Behind Bars: Michael Cohen Was a Little B-tch!

After eight long months on the inside, Mike Sorrentino was released from prison on September 12. And as anyone who’s been watching recent episodes of Jersey Shore knows — Mike’s absence has been keenly felt on the show. (How many more scenes in that Vegas hotel suite will be forced to endure?!) But if you’re among the many viewers who have lately found themselves missing the old guido group dynamic, fear not: The Sitch is back, and he’s ready to bring the heat with some spicy stories from his time in the clink. Sorrentino appeared on Snooki’s podcast this week, and in addition to weighing in on the latest drama involving his housemates, he opened up about life in prison and the joys of his newfound freedom. Mike began by confirming the obvious — the top item on his post-prison agenda was smushing with his wife, Lauren Pesce . After that, it was right back to making that green: “I feel fantastic,” Mike told Snooki. “I’ve lost 40 pounds in this process. I’m back reunited with my beautiful wife. “And working on the No. 1 TV show on MTV! I’m very grateful and just taking advantage of every moment, every conversation, every meal and just living my best life.” (Some possible shade directed at the ladies of Teen Mom there? We love it!) “When I first got home, all I wanted to do was spend time with my beautiful wife. I wanted to have a naked pizza party,” Sorrentino continued. “I wanted to watch movies. I wanted to watch ‘Avengers.’ I wanted to watch ‘Game of Thrones.’ I had to catch up on all that TV. I wanted to snuggle with my dog.” Unfortunately, his binge-watching was short-lived, as producers recognized the need to film Mike in his first days as a free man in order to maximize the drama: “And then the producers of MTV were like, ‘Listen, we need to get you in there ASAP,'” The Sitch went on. “So I pretty much took the ball and started to run with it immediately,” he explained. “I started working the day I came out. I saw you guys the next day, and then I think I moved in a couple days later.” “I was mentally ready, but at the same time, I was like, ‘Alright, this is my job. It’s time to man up. It’s time to rise to the occasion.’ Get that shmoney! I missed out on eight months. I wasn’t doing projects for eight months.” As for his experience on the inside, Mike says he benefitted from fame and was well-liked by his fellow inmates. (“I got all the extra food all the time!”) He confirmed the rumors that be befriended infamous Fyre Fest organizer Billy MacFarland and revealed that MacFarland was less than a model prisoner. “He supposedly smuggled in some sort of recording device, and he was caught with it,” Mike claimed. “They said he was trying to record high-profile inmates, and they threw him in the SHU. They sent him to a worse prison, I think, recently. That’s a bonehead move right there. And that’s not the only famous face who served time alongside The Sitch. Donald Trump’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen, is currently in prison for crimes related to payouts made to Stormy Daniels , and it seems his time at Otisville Correctional overlapped with Mike’s. And like the president, Sorrentino enjoyed demanding risky favors of Cohen: “I went up to him the first day, and he was a bit nervous, and I thought to myself, you know what? I’m gonna ask him to go sneak me some chicken out of the main line. It’s his first day,” Mike recalled. “I went up to Michael Cohen, and I said, ‘Listen, Michael Cohen.’ I’m there for like three-four months, I’m like, ‘Listen, bro, I’m gonna need you to do something for me.’ He said, ‘What is it, Mike? Anything!’ I said, ‘I’m gonna need you to go in main line. It’s your first day here. No one knows. I’m gonna need you to smuggle chicken from the main line and give it to me. I’m gonna hide it in my locker so that I can have an extra serving after my workout.'” Sadly, Mike says Cohen “chickened out” and didn’t go through with the meat heist. If only he’d shown that kind of backbone the last time a reality TV asked him to engage in some sketchy behavior! All-in-all Mike says his time behind bars was deeply unpleasant but not nearly as bad as it could have been due to his celebrity status: “I was blessed to shoot a lot of TV before I went into prison, so while I was in prison, I was on TV every Thursday with a smile on my face,” he said. “Like, ‘Oh, look, there’s my wedding!’ But I missed out on a lot of money from being in prison for eight months.” As for the work he was expected to perform, well … fame goes a long way with the masses, even behind bars. “I’ll be honest,” Mike said, “there was a guy in prison that did my job for me.” Hey, we’re just glad he’s back to his real job — stuffing his face and spouting inspirational cliches on television! Welcome home, Sitch! View Slideshow: Mike Sorrentino in Prison: Star’s Sad Farewell to Freedom, New Life Behind Bars, Conjugal Visit “Situation” Revealed [UPDATED]

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Mike Sorrentino Opens Up on Life Behind Bars: Michael Cohen Was a Little B-tch!

Lamar Odom and GF Sabrina Parr: Starring in a New Reality Series!

To his continuing credit, Lamar Odom cannot stop gushing over new girlfriend Sabrina Parr . In fact, the pair seem to be moving incredibly quickly. Just over a month after going Instagram Official as a couple, the two are already shooting a brand new reality series. Lamar and Sabrina were spotted out and about together. As usual, the basketball legend was asked some friendly questions by paparazzi. One paparazzo asked him what he and Sabrina had been filming. It was a very good question, and got an interesting answer. “Me and my girl, we have a new show. Sabrina & Lamar ,” he revealed. He furnished a detail and rhymed at the same time, adding: “Sabrina Parr is the star.” Then, on Instagram, Sabrina responded when fans brought this up. “@lamarodom just can’t hold water to save his life LOL,” she teased. By that, she means that he couldn’t keep a secret. “The secrets out now [though] …” Sabrina admitted with resignation. “By the way …” she revealed. “The show name is not Sabrina and Lamar LOL.” While she does not reveal the show’s actual title, Sabrina does treat fans to an anecdote about her man. “I’ll tell y’all a quick story,” Sabrina writes. “From the day I met Lamar, he kept saying to me, ‘man you’re like a star.’” “Then every time [people] would come up to him to get a pic,” she continues. “He would say ‘that’s Sabrina Parr. She’s the real star.’” “That’s exactly how he’s treated me since day one [though] …” Sabrina gushes. She says that he treats her “like I’m the star and I’m the one who should get all the attention!” Sabrina explains that this is why Lamar gave the answer that he did. “That’s why he said this to the media,” Sabrina reasons. Full of affection, she acknowledges that “He truly feels that way.” “Meanwhile … I’m just tryna wear my Nike hat and sweats in peace LOL,” she jokes. Hmmm, I know that she’s why Lamar gave up porn , but I think that I actually really like her. “I think a lot of you will be surprised as to what exactly is gonna be included on the show,” Sabrina teases fans and followers. “How many of y’all will be watching?” she asks. “If you’re not gonna watch it,” she instructs. “Then just don’t respond.” Sabrina explains: “cuz I’m not talking to you and I don’t feel like blocking anyone today.” “So be nice on this beautiful Monday,” she requests. We really, truly do not know what sort of show the pair of them are cooking up. It’s good to hear that the show’s title won’t be quite as close to Khloe & Lamar as some had feared from his statement. Sabrina really does sound head-over-heels in love with him and appreciates how he treats her. That is truly heartwarming, you know? Maybe their relationship is still in the honeymoon phase, or maybe they’re just super compatible. We can’t wait to see what they’re like on reality television. That way, fans will really get to know her. View Slideshow: Lamar Odom: 17 Most Bat$hit Crazy Bombshells from His Memoir

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Lamar Odom and GF Sabrina Parr: Starring in a New Reality Series!

Danni Baird: Madison LeCroy is LYING About Shep Giving Me Chlamydia!

Southern Charm is now displaying one of the downsides to Austen Kroll's on-again, off-again relationship with Madison LeCroy . It seems that she and Shep don't get along — so much so that Madison claimed that Shep was giving out STIs like candy. But Danni, whom Madison had included in her STI story, says that there's simply no truth to the rumor. Hmmm … “You thought you and Austen were going to fall back into each other's arms and run off into the sunset?” Shep asked incredulously. “Wouldn't that have been nice?” Madison replied. “No,” Shep answered bluntly. “It would have been foolish, I think, for both of you.” “I think it's sad that your opinion weighs so heavily on our relationship,” Madison countered. “Because, to me, it doesn't matter.” Shep and Craig then lament how Austen doesn't seem to speak to them. Madison explains that it's because neither of them seem to actually care about his feelings or desires. “What do you think you know about me? … I've got nothing to hide,” Shep asked and then claimed to Madison. Here, he is clearly trying to goad her into saying something messy.  “You sure about that?” Madison asked in warning. “I heard that you gave her chlamydia.” As she said that, she gestured to Danni Baird. Craig burst into a fit of giggles while Danni looked absolutely stunned. Speaking to Bravo's The Daily Dish , Danni reflected upon being an innocent victim of a very unkind rumor. “What Madison said was very hurtful and untrue,” Danni affirms. “And I feel as though it was clearly calculated,” she adds. “Both directed at Shep and to me.” “I don’t think that Austen is innocent in the matter,” Danni admits. She explains: “They had both, unbeknownst to me, had been harboring some underlying resentment toward me particularly.” Danni speculates that it has something to do with revealing that Madison had been in Gentry Todd's DMs while still dating Austen. “I think [Madison] had harbored that,” she says. “And I had no idea.” “I mean,” Danni adds. “I had actually done everything I could possibly do to kind of protect her in that situation as it was unraveling.” She wanted to keep things calm “and not have it escalate into something bigger,” “But,” Danni admits. “I also had no idea that I had literally given Craig Conover ammunition.” “I didn’t know their relationship backstory,” she confesses. “And quite honestly, I couldn’t have cared less.” “Shep and I dated almost a decade ago,” Danni notes. “And we, or at least I, did not even know Madison and Austen back then.” “So what she said is completely untrue and unfair,” she emphasizes. “It was hurtful.” “She was trying to target Shep,” Danni acknowledges. “But I know good and well she threw me in there for a reason, subconsciously or not.” Nothing like a little armchair psychology when you're breaking down some reality TV drama, right? “And it’s just been really hard for me to comprehend how you can do that to somebody else,” Danni concludes. “It’s not my nature.”

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Danni Baird: Madison LeCroy is LYING About Shep Giving Me Chlamydia!

Mike Sorrentino: I Can’t Wait to Sex a Baby Into My Wife!

Now that  Jersey Shore Family Vacation  is back on the air, viewers can see what a crazy year Mike Sorrentino has had. Between his wedding to Lauren Pesce and going to jail for tax fraud , The Sitch has had more on his plate than even his famous appetite can handle. But Mike’s comments on Thursday’s episode seem to hint that a new little Situation could be on the way soon. In real life, the wedding’s over and done with, and Mike is very nearly finished with his prison sentence. On air however, Mike and Lauren’s wedding is all the buzz as the cast prepares for the upcoming nuptuals.  Mike and his college sweetheart were about to spend the first months of their marriage separated by prison bars. Even so, they didn’t let it stop them from planning to start a family. “Myself and Lauren, we just started discussing having a little Situation,” Mike told the camera during a scene at his apartment. In the scene Lauren half-jokingly mentioned that there’s a “high chance” she could get pregnant. “Then we should get busy,” Mike responded. Wow! Sounds like Mike is kinda serious about this. Maybe’s he’s been putting more thought into this than we realized. “You think you’re ready for a baby?” Lauren asked Mike at the apartment. “Um, honey,” Mike told his fiance, “I’ve been born ready!” So there you have it. This reformed party animal is ready to be a dad. Parenting is the ultimate responsibility. If The Sitch is truly ready, then he’s come a long way from pounding Jager bombs and yelling at his costars. Then again, he is still on  Jersey Shore , so some childish drama is sure to come, but Mike has notably been sober for years now. But let’s not get too excited for Situation Jr just yet. The couple plan to wait a while before trying to make a baby. Lauren has said she wants the couple to buy a house before the two start building family, a responsible caveat to be sure. And when your husband is in prison, that’s certainly no time to be house-hunting or getting pregnant. “I don’t think we’re going to purchase a house while I’m in prison,” Mike said, eliciting a laugh from Lauren. It was also reported that Mike would not be eligible for conjugal visits, meaning any attempts at baby-making would also have to wait until Mike’s release. In an interview with  Us Weekly , the rest of the cast joked that prison hasn’t stopped Lauren and Mike from trying to conceive. “I think they’re already trying,” joked costar DJ Pauly D. “He’s like ‘Lauren, catch,'” he said, describing how “They smuggled out his sperm and gave it to Lauren.” That scenario definitely did not happen, but Lauren did say that the couple see each other “at least once a week.” According to her, their relationship is “stronger than ever.” This isn’t the first time the couple have mentioned trying for a baby. In May of 2018 Lauren told  People that she and Mike were “definitely planning” to start a family. “We don’t have a date yet,” she said at the time, “I think we need to see how this timing pans out for the rest of the year.” “But we’ve been ready for this,” she added. “So we’re definitely not looking for a long engagement.” Well, here we are, over a year later. The engagement is over, and soon the prison sentence will be too. We wouldn’t be surprised to hear that the couple’s little Situation is on the way next. We’ll be keeping an eye on these two as they finally reunite this summer. View Slideshow: Mike Sorrentino in Prison: Star’s Sad Farewell to Freedom, New Life Behind Bars, Conjugal Visit “Situation” Revealed [UPDATED]

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Mike Sorrentino: I Can’t Wait to Sex a Baby Into My Wife!

Katharine McPhee Fixing The Pussy Lips of the Day

Katharine McPhee is no longer topless on her honeymoon with her grandpa, instead she is seen here stuffing her meaty vagina back into her bikini bottoms…. If there’s one thing I know about Katharine McPhee, it’s that she spells her name with an A not an E and that fucks with my head. Who does that? The other thing I know about her, is that she had vaginalplasty…. There were leaked nudes of the American Idol starlet in what was likely an iCloud hack, and the highlight pics were her scabbed up pussy selfie that you know was for her doctor…so medical…so erotic… You know a bitch wit a VULVA complex, trying to get better, do better, improve herself through surgery about something she was insecure about…in order to land the man of her dreams or I guess the bank account of her dreams…with 80 year old David Foster who I’m sure has a bulletproof pre-nup, but that still probably works out nicely for this bitch. I wonder if she’s looking at her pussy, because like all amputees, she’s got a phantom limb or in her case LABIA…trying to escape her bikini like old times…only for her to realize a few minutes after this was taken “oh right, I cut that meaty shit off like I worked the deli counter”…. JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES! The post Katharine McPhee Fixing The Pussy Lips of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Katharine McPhee Fixing The Pussy Lips of the Day

Dove Cameron Proves You Can be Clothed in Slutty Selfies of the Day

This just in – you can have a slutty selfie – even if you’re wearing pants… Thanks Dove Cameron for informing us of that…. Not that I didn’t already know it, I’ve been looking at slutty pant pictures for decades…I know the ability a woman has to make things slutty and I appreciate it… Dove Cameron is some Disney kid, doing what Disney Kids, or really all kids do…..seductive internet pics. The post Dove Cameron Proves You Can be Clothed in Slutty Selfies of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Dove Cameron Proves You Can be Clothed in Slutty Selfies of the Day

Eva Amurri Bikini Tits of the Day

Butter face Eva Amurri Martino, who is probably best known, or only known for being the daughter of Susan Sarandon, who inherited momma’s big Rocky Horror Show tits, and who was able to get into acting, naked, on Californication when that was a thing…. She tapped out of working, even as an actor, which isn’t work..to start a family, because I guess that is more fun, even though she probably could have stopped to do anything, like travel the world or nap all day….RICH KIDS…. And in her defense, she barely worked, she did one show topless, in what was probably an attempt to be rebel….while she’s got her mom to do the working for her. Either way, she’s got those Susan Sarandon tits…that are now a mom of two tits…but still massive. LOOK. The post Eva Amurri Bikini Tits of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Eva Amurri Bikini Tits of the Day

Bella Hadid Slutty of the Day

Bella Hadid is doing a shameless video of her pushing her ass into the camera….in a cheeky and silly way…wearing a pretty racy bathing suit…and posting it to her social media….because if you do something slutty with a smile it is by default far less slutty and desperate…despite it being desperate.. She’s the ugly rich kid, who was positioned to be a model by her narcissistic parents, and I guess a lot of money went into creating both her and her sister, the cuter but still ugly one…to pave the way for this troll….a troll who looks as good as she’s going to look…from behind while looking at her ass…in a slutty outfit in motion…. She’s garbage, everything wrong with the world, but at least she’s influencing the people to pull their asses out like a bunch of jocks in the locker room pre rape! JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES! The post Bella Hadid Slutty of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Bella Hadid Slutty of the Day

Katharine McPhee Wet Bikini of the Day

Katharine McPhee is married to David Foster officially. I guess this is their Honeymoon, even though the rest of her life will be a honeymoon, as dude fades away thanks to the aging process he is trying to fight off, but is in his 70s….and thanks to him being rich as fuck…it will just be a matter of time when he’s in a wheel chair in a room unable to speak…stroked out by all that coke he did in the 80s…giving her the freedom to fuck the pool boy, and really whoever else, as he sits there pissing himself. This is some Anna Nicole Smith hustle, of girl taking advantage of a rich and senile man for her personal gain… I knew when I saw the Katharine McPhee vaginaplasty pics leaked from her icloud, that she was up to something….I just didn’t think it’d be this weird… But I tell all women if they can find a will to work themselves into, do it, and if you can use that dude as a mentor cuz you do music and he ran music….you might as well…you know go for the top…wherever that is….and maybe you’ll be hosing off on a Yacht in a bikini with your big American Idol tits. Dreams do come true… The year that Katharine McPhee was born (1984)…..which I guess makes her too old… Was the year David Foster produced: You’re the Inspiration and St Elmo’s Fire… Solid. JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES! The post Katharine McPhee Wet Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Katharine McPhee Wet Bikini of the Day

‘Empire’ Recap: Cookie Breaks Teri’s Big News To Andre Hoping He’ll Fight For His Life

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Source: FOX / Getty It’s the second to last episode of Empire Season 5 and tonight’s episode definitely did a good job of dragging out the, “Is Andre Seriously Going to Die?” saga. It looks like he is but again, you really never know on this show. Anyway, the episode starts with Lucious not wanting to accept that Andre is dying (he’s still the only one who knows out of the family). But Andre has accepted his fate and wants to die on his own terms. Lucious tells him not to do a dang thing until he talks to him first then he storms out. We see Dre carefully placing cards that he wrote out to all of his loved ones. Meanwhile, Cookie wants Teri to tell Andre she’s pregnant to give him something to fight for. Teri says she won’t say anything because she’s surprised that she’s even pregnant until she gets word from the doctor that everything is okay. Lucious gets into a minor car accident. It’s minor in the sense that he swerves off the road and hits a rail and keeps his life. He does get knocked out, though, and starts having dreams where he’s conversing with dead people from his past. Cookie’s cousin that he killed manages to tell him he ain’t ish, later on, he sees Shyne, and he even sees his dead father. The latter gives him the strength he needs to let go of Andre. Now we’re at a meeting at Empire with Becky, Giselle, and Patel. Jamal was supposed to be there but he’s on his honeymoon in Seychelles. Patel wants to know what’s up with the money and how is the tour doing. Then Thirsty interrupts with an Empire artist saying their checks didn’t clear. In fact, Empire checks are bouncing all over the place. It’s the feds again. They froze Empire’s assets. As a matter of fact, Megan, the leader of the pack, interrogates Cookie without a lawyer. Cookie demands a lawyer and Megan pokes at her about freezing Empire’s assets. Then she brings up Panama. She shows Cookies photos from her trip to Panama with Damon Cross and asks what happened between them. If Cookie snitches on Damon then Megan will unfreeze all of Empire’s assets. Cookie ain’t no snitch, and she ain’t no fool. Just the fact that Cookie is there without a lawyer is grounds enough to get her out of there. Cookie tells her straight where to go, too, before sashaying away. In the meantime, Becky, Giselle, and Andre, who isn’t even supposed to be working but everyone needs him, are trying to figure out what to do. Becky suggests throwing a new special concert, that is distinctly separate from the tour, where Empire artists are paired with non-Empire artists. There’s a venue that owes her a favor so maybe this could work. Now we’re the part of the episode where Lucious finally wakes up from his blackout to Thirsty calling and telling him he needs to get back to reality quick. Then we see a flashback of Cookie meeting up with Damon. He’s trying to get her to leave Lucious again. Cookie says she wants her hubby and her boys and the life they built, but she does tip him off about the feds since she’s feeling generous. Andre asks Kingsley if he can help whim reach Eddie Patel, who is literally at some billionaire boys club convention Silicon Valley. They have a quick exchange, and Kingsley says he won’t be able to get in because the billionaires don’t think too highly of him. He’s also skeptical of Andre asking for help. Andre says he forgives him and that he’s his big brother and that he needs him. That’s enough tenderness for Kingsley to wire him a crap ton of money, adding that it’s not half of what he owes empire, but it’s a start (later on we find out that Kingsley also gave him some leads on potential investors). Now it’s time for the special concert. Hakeem performs with Ty Dolla $ign. Tiana performs with Sevyn Streeter. And it’s a good night. Teri finds Cookie backstage and tells her that she got the test results back. She and Andre are expecting a healthy baby boy. Cookie asks when she’s going to tell Andre and Teri puts it off until tomorrow, obviously not knowing she may not have that long. Finally, the episode winds down with Lucious and Andre eating Andre’s favorite meal at a hotel, just before Andre plans to end his life. Cookie walks into her house and comes across the note he wrote her telling her about his heart condition and why he didn’t want her to know. She remembered where he said he was staying and rushes over there. She makes it in time just before Andre is preparing to take some pills, as Lucious watches tearfully, and busts everything up. She starts spazzing out on Lucious for letting their son kill himself so they have a moment where they argue. Then Cookie Dre that Teri is pregnant and that this is worth fighting for but the shock of Cookie already affected him negatively and he starts to have a heart attack and we end with them calling 911. Yup, they’re still dragging this out. Meanwhile, we just want to see if there’s a plot twist where Andre lives, or nah. The season finally ends next week. RELATED POSTS ‘Empire’ Recap: It’s Looking Like Andre Is Really Going To Die ‘Empire’ Recap: Lucious Tries To Make Things Right With Kingsley

‘Empire’ Recap: Cookie Breaks Teri’s Big News To Andre Hoping He’ll Fight For His Life