With Fede Alvarez’s remake of Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead about to hit theaters on Friday, it’s a good time to take the Hot Tub Time Machine back to 1979 when rotary dial phones were still common and the Oz The Great and Powerful director was just an aspiring filmmaker with an idea for a bloody and original horror film. Movies.com has unearthed Within The Woods ¬ to be confused with Stephen Sondheim’s Into The Woods — the 30-minute proof-of-concept short that Raimi used to raise money to produce his 1981 horror classic, The Evil Dead. Before you click play, make sure you’re in a receptive and patient mood. This clip looks like it was bootlegged from a pre-cable TV tuned in to a particularly weak UHF station. (Remember those?) But if you can get in the right frame of mind to watch it, it’s pretty cool to see Bruce Campbell looking bespectacled and nerdy (as opposed to the Vegas Elvis impersonator he’s become) and to witness Raimi’s early promise as a filmmaker. The scene where heroine Ellen Sandweiss uses Campbell’s severed hand, which holds a knife, to dispatch him is a nice touch, although the scene where she repeatedly slams a door on a friend who’s she’s accidentally stabbed veers into unintentional comedy. (By the way, Sandweiss appeared as a quadling in Oz .) What do you think of the movie? Better yet, what do you think of the rotary-dial phone that appears near the end. Mwa-ha-ha-ha! [ Movieweb via Movies.com ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
With three laugh-out-loud trailers in circulation, This Is The End is looking like the comedy of the summer. At the very least, it’s going to make the phrase “titty fucking” extremely popular. And if it doesn’t live up to the hype? We’ll always have this latest red band clip, which is such a laugh riot that I’ve taken the opportunity to list the 20 funniest moments, in ascending order. Disagree? Leave your ranking in the comments section. And memo to Mr. Rogen: please find a cameo for Will Ferrell before the movie is released. He and Craig Robinson should have a bat fight . ‘This Is The End’ Red Band Trailer The 20 Funniest Moments: 20. Paul Rudd getting third billing on IMDb without even even appearing in the trailer. 19. The Beavis & Butthead way James Franco says “Machinima” in the introduction. 18. Emma Watson in extreme looting mode. 17. Craig Robinson expressing a little James Franco envy — “Fuck your house, Franco!” — after a runaway helicopter rotor leaves him with a boo-boo. 16. Mindy Kaling overstating her desire to hook up with the “fucking pale, 110 pounds, hairless” Michael Cera . 15. The freaked-out lady getting crushed by a gigantic vintage air conditioner. 14. Cera shotgunning a massive cloud of cocaine into Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s face and finishing with a Karate Kid move. 13. Jason Segel falling into a sinkhole with his belly hanging out. 12. Rihanna falling into the same sinkhole. 11. Robinson declaring Aziz Ansari unfit to rescue because “you’re already in the [sink]hole.” 10. Jay Baruchel managing to look sleepy even when he’s terrified. 9. Robinson screaming like a little girl (in the last scene). 8. Michael Cera asking “Is it bad?” After being impaled by a lamp post. 7. The debate over who gets to a piece of James Franco’s “special” Milky Way . 6. Rihanna smacking Cera—really hard—after he pinches her ass. 5. Franco’s “You could be a looter. A rapist. A titty fucker” speech. 4. Emma Watson clocking Seth Rogen with an ax handle. 3. Robinson declaring: ” We’re actors. We pretend to be hard, man. We soft as baby shit!” 2. The bald dude offering to “titty fuck” his way to safety 1. Danny McBride : “Hermione just stole all of our shit.” Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
With three laugh-out-loud trailers in circulation, This Is The End is looking like the comedy of the summer. At the very least, it’s going to make the phrase “titty fucking” extremely popular. And if it doesn’t live up to the hype? We’ll always have this latest red band clip, which is such a laugh riot that I’ve taken the opportunity to list the 20 funniest moments, in ascending order. Disagree? Leave your ranking in the comments section. And memo to Mr. Rogen: please find a cameo for Will Ferrell before the movie is released. He and Craig Robinson should have a bat fight . ‘This Is The End’ Red Band Trailer The 20 Funniest Moments: 20. Paul Rudd getting third billing on IMDb without even even appearing in the trailer. 19. The Beavis & Butthead way James Franco says “Machinima” in the introduction. 18. Emma Watson in extreme looting mode. 17. Craig Robinson expressing a little James Franco envy — “Fuck your house, Franco!” — after a runaway helicopter rotor leaves him with a boo-boo. 16. Mindy Kaling overstating her desire to hook up with the “fucking pale, 110 pounds, hairless” Michael Cera . 15. The freaked-out lady getting crushed by a gigantic vintage air conditioner. 14. Cera shotgunning a massive cloud of cocaine into Christopher Mintz-Plasse’s face and finishing with a Karate Kid move. 13. Jason Segel falling into a sinkhole with his belly hanging out. 12. Rihanna falling into the same sinkhole. 11. Robinson declaring Aziz Ansari unfit to rescue because “you’re already in the [sink]hole.” 10. Jay Baruchel managing to look sleepy even when he’s terrified. 9. Robinson screaming like a little girl (in the last scene). 8. Michael Cera asking “Is it bad?” After being impaled by a lamp post. 7. The debate over who gets to a piece of James Franco’s “special” Milky Way . 6. Rihanna smacking Cera—really hard—after he pinches her ass. 5. Franco’s “You could be a looter. A rapist. A titty fucker” speech. 4. Emma Watson clocking Seth Rogen with an ax handle. 3. Robinson declaring: ” We’re actors. We pretend to be hard, man. We soft as baby shit!” 2. The bald dude offering to “titty fuck” his way to safety 1. Danny McBride : “Hermione just stole all of our shit.” Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Emma Watson is posing for GQ and she’s dressed like a 90s club girl, or stripper and I wonder if this is something her creepy fans appreciate because they can jerk off to it, or if they are more into her at 12 years old in a private school outfit. Not that her fans are all perverts and pedophiles, I am sure a handful of them are decent socially awkward freaks, who never jerked off to her before she turned 18, but knew when she was 14 that she was the one for them to obsess over. The good news is I don’t really care about her fans, their pedophile and wizard loving ways, shit is about me, and this GQ shoot, all push up bra and short squirt, promote and inspire boners, and that’s what it’s all about.
As much as I hate Hayden Panettiere, or hated her in the past, you know for being famous and having a fan base, despite her midget build, shitty tits, thick legs, and overally massive head that was almost comical. You know a career built on her stripper looking mother’s Soap Star fame…..but for some reason, that may be her interest in saving the dolphins, marine mammals are my aphrodisiac you know, but it probably has more to do with implants that just balance her out in a good way….because implants, despite my hatred for them…can make a girl a better person than she once was…..
Dear Bossip , I am a 24 year-old mother and college graduate of one year. I already have a job in my field of Law Enforcement. I said that to say this, I am not usually confused in most areas of my life. I pretty much know what I want and go for it and I don’t let negative things cloud my judgment (usually). Well, I really don’t know where to start, but here it goes. I was with my daughter’s father for 7 years. I lost my virginity to him. We had her around that 7th year and during my pregnancy I found out that he had been cheating on me for a little over a year with someone else. I was extremely hurt and broken over that. Although it was very hard I ended that relationship and endured the joys and hardship of being a single mother, but I pulled through just fine. Well, that was 3 years ago and I have been single ever since, and my daughter has not ever seen me show any type of affection to any guy, not even her dad because I left him when she was only 2 weeks old. I am very protective over my child, as any mother should, and for the fear that a new relationship would not last and that would only confuse her once she became attached. I have not introduced her to anyone I’ve been out with. Well, almost a year ago, I met this guy who is 5 years older than I am. He was a complete gentleman and he asked me out on a date. I agreed because I was impressed by this approach. We hit it off. I found out he was in a previous relationship for 14 years and they have 2 kids together. I was a little suspect about that, but several dates came after that. I made him wait about 3 months before we had sex because for one it had been a while for me and I had only been with one other person and I also wanted to develop something more than just physical. And, we did…everything was perfect, months went by and I started falling in love with him, but I still did not allow him to meet my daughter. About 2 months ago, things changed. I saw him with the mother of his children dropping one of his kids off at a skating rink. I just so happen to be there taking my daughter to a party. I asked him about that and his excuse was he was spending time with his kids. Ok, so when does spending time with your kids involve you being in a car with their mother DROPPING THEM OFF??? We started to go out on dates less often and I stopped seeing him less often. I questioned him about the relationship with him and his children’s mother and he denied anything was going on. One day, I received a call from her from his phone and -ish hit the fan. She told me they had been married for some time and asked questions that any other woman would ask and I answered them honestly. She then woke him up and gave him the phone. Once he heard my voice, he hung up. Shortly after, he calls me and wanted to know why I told her the truth!!! I told him he made me the “side chick” unknowingly and that if I had lied for him, then that would have made me like any other “side peice.” I cut him off after that. I don’t know why, but I was not as hurt as I thought I would be and I haven’t given him any much thought since. It’s been 2 months since I’ve spoken to him, then all of a sudden he’s been blowing my phone up none stop, leaving voice mails saying how much he misses me and asking can we just be friends at least. I finally answered his call and told him I still wanted nothing to do with him and to just cut his losses and move on (just like that). Since then I have been thinking about him none stop and I’m starting to miss him a lot. I don’t know if it’s because of the fact that I have not had sex with anyone since him and I’m “f**kstrated,” or because I really do miss him. I’m starting to feel like I want him around after all…WHAT SHOULD I DO??? – Truly Confused Dear Ms. Truly Confused , Girl! LOL! I love your word, “F**kstrated.” And, that is exactly what you are! F**kstrated! Chile, this man lied to you. He deceived you. He manipulated you into thinking he was a single man who had a baby momma and that you and he had some type of relationship. Then you discovered he is married. And, now you’re writing and asking what should you do because you miss him, and you’re feeling some type of way. Uhm, boo boo, he is still married. He has a wife and family. Why would you want to be with this man? What would you gain? Why would you knowingly want to sleep with this man when you know he has a wife and a family? And, so now you’re okay with being a “side chick?” SMDH! Don’t be the other woman. It’s not cute. It’s not worth it. It’s not who you are. If you have all these morals and values around not introducing your daughter to various men, and you uphold standards of being a virtuous woman, then what lesson will your daughter learn knowing her mother is sleeping with a married man? How can you live with yourself knowing you’re sleeping with another woman’s husband, and you’re nothing to him but some a**? But, hold up, when his wife called you and she put him on the phone and he hung up on you, then had the nerve to call you back and ask you why did you tell her the truth? Girl, that right there is when you should have called his wife back and told her. But, you should have set his a** up and told him to meet you at a nice hotel. And, then you and his wife should have shown up together and whooped his a** together! Chile, you want to portray yourself to your daughter as if you’re a good woman and that you’re not out there sleeping with various men, but what will you say to her knowing that is not who you are? Let’s consider these facts: 1.) He’s married. He’s still calling you, and thus, this means he is lying to his wife. And, if he lies and cheats on her, he will do the same to you. Point blank! 2.) He’s done this before. Girl, I hope you don’t think you’re the first woman he has done this with. I’m sure the other women who were unknowingly made the side chick left his bum a** alone when they learned he was married. You’re the only one who is dumb enough to really consider being a married man’s side chick. 3.) He has children. You have children. Do you people really consider your children in your decision making when you’re playing these games? How will this affect them in the long run? What lessons they will learn from all of this? How do you explain to your daughter that you’re a married man’s side chick? 4.) You’ve seen him with his wife. You’ve spoken to his wife. Sooooo, you’ve reconciled in your head that despite seeing her, speaking with her, and him lying about his 14-year marriage that it’s okay to go ahead and continue your sexual relationship with him simply because you’re “F**kstrated.” Now, let’s get to the real root of your frustrations. You are exactly what you’ve declared, F**kstrated. You need some steady man meat in your life. And, you’re willing to compromise your morals and values because you’re d**kmatized. It’s not worth it. There are millions of single men in the world, and I’m sure there are many single men in your city, or area. Get yourself one of them and take out your sexual F**kstrations with them. You need the sexual stimuli and release with a man who can satisfy your desires and needs. You’re missing male companionship, and because you have all these rules that dictate your life, and with introducing men to your daughter, you’ve put yourself on a sexual hiatus. It doesn’t have to be this way. You can still have fun, enjoy yourself, and be sexually active without bringing men to your home. I’m sure there are plenty of men who have their own homes or apartments. Hell, you can even go to a hotel and get your freak on! Don’t deny yourself sexually if that is what you need. You just have to be creative in getting and doing what you need to do without bringing men to your home. Look, the point here is that you should tell that man to lose your number, block his number, and stop communicating with him. He’s married. That is something you don’t want to be a part of, or get mixed up in. Get yourself your own man. A single man who can satisfy your sexual needs and desires. And, hopefully it will lead to a relationship. Until it does, you can go to his home, a hotel, or find other creative ways to enjoy an active and healthy sex life. Honey, you’re a woman with needs. And, the last thing you want to be is a woman who is F**strated and laying up with some other woman’s husband. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
The NFL’s Miami Dolphins have a new logo. One they meant to unveil April 25 but leaked. Dolphins CEO Mike Dee made it official Wednesday, saying that the logo that has made the rounds on Internet in recent days is the real deal: Over the weekend the logo was leaked when one of the team’s players was wearing a T-shirt with the new design in a Twitter pic. Ah, the Digital Age. Also on Wednesday, the NFL’s official website accidently posted the new logo on its “Predict the Draft Pick” page. That page was quickly taken down. Featuring a meaner and sleeker looking dolphin, the logo is still similar to Miami’s traditional look as the marine mammal is cascading across a sunburst. Whether it will help them swim past New England is another story. New logo or not, Ryan Tannehill is still the one wearing it when he lines up under center.
Roland Emmerich likes the Air Jordans scene in White House Down . As you may have heard, Emmerich and the leading men of his movie, Jamie Foxx and Channing Tatum , gave moviegoers in New York and London a sneak peek of about eight minutes of footage from their Washington-under-siege movie on Tuesday, and, at the risk of sounding like Chance the Gardener, I had the unexpected opportunity of watching the director watch his handiwork from the audience. Emmerich and Foxx appeared before a hyped-up crowd at a Regal cineplex in Manhattan’s Union Square and were joined via satellite by Tatum, who was at a screening in London. Audiences in both locations were first shown the trailer for White House Down (posted below), then Good Morning America ‘s Sam Champion asked a lot of how-did-it-feel-type questions of the trio and their respective roles. Tatum plays John Cale — screenwriter James Vanderbilt must be a Velvet Underground fan — a cop who is on a tour of the White House with his daughter when it is attacked during a coup attempt, and President James Sawyer, portrayed by Foxx, is taken hostage. The two men team up to battle the paramilitary forces — homegrown, based on Emmerich’s comments — that are attempting to take control of the country and, on a more human scale, to rescue Cale’s daughter. After Emmerich admitted to some reservations about showing an extended look at his work-in-progress, the lights went down a second time and the crowd was treated to approximately eight minutes of footage that better established Tatum and Foxx’s characters. Prior to the White House tour, Cale is shown apologizing to his daughter for not being a better dad and lifting her spirits by telling her about the White House tour they’re going to take right after his interview for a plum Secret Service gig. That interview which is conducted by a tough-talking Maggie Gyllenhaal, goes terribly, and, based on the footage shown, implausibly. Gyllenhaal is shown quoting evaluations by Cale’s law-enforcement superiors and there are enough negative ones that, given that the job involves protecting the president, it’s unlikely the interview would have even been scheduled. But things picked up considerably from there. Just before all hell broke loose, a White House tour guide refers to the part of the White House “that got blown up in Independence Day ,” which the crowd loved. That was followed by extended footage of another national monument, the Capitol Building being destroyed in spectacular fashion. (Trust me, it’s more memorable than the short version you see in the trailer.) By then, Emmerich had left his seat next to Foxx at the front of the theater and plopped down on the floor in the middle of the theater next to yours truly — there were no seats to be had at this point — presumably to watch the footage from the crowd’s perspective. As the Capitol Building imploded, I watched Emmerich out of the corner of my eye to see if the German filmmaker was looking impressed with himself or particularly gleeful at the cinematic destruction of an iconic American image. He wasn’t. He watched the footage intently but without any evident emotion. The scene that got an obvious rise out of Emmerich was one in which, after Cale and Sawyer make their way to the president’s living quarters, the Commander-in-Chief breaks out a pair of sweet Air Jordans. The director laughed out loud at that scene, and also appeared to enjoy another bit of comic relief later in the picture where Foxx kicks a terrorist who’s grabbing at his feet and says, “Get your hands off my Jordans!” (Foxx told the crowd that he was not playing a fictional version of Barack Obama, but that he did do “Obama-type things” in the movie, and the Jordans certainly seemed to reference our actual president’s love of basketball.) Eight minutes of footage does not a movie make, but if Emmerich can maintain the level of humor, action and drama that his sneak peek demonstrated, White House Down could potentially dwarf the $30.5 million opening weekend that Olympus Has Fallen notched and become another Independence Day-sized hit for Emmerich. At the very least, it will earn him the distinction of the filmmaker who blew up by blowing up the White House — twice. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
