Let's face it: Used car salesmen are typically known for being a shady lot. They generally used underhanded and slimy tactics in order to shill for years-old vehicles because, quite simply, who would buy one of these vehicles if the salesman was honest about it? Well, we're about to find out. This is because a man in Houston has posted a lengthy ad on Craigslist for his 1999 Toyota Carolla… and it pulls nary a punch. The brutally honest posting has gone viral because it's downright hilarious and, to other owners of other Toyota Carollas, downright relatable. Scroll down to see what we mean: 1. This is the Car It actually looks to be in pretty good shape for a nearly 20-year old car, doesn’t it? What can the owner tell us about it? 2. These are 23 Photos of the Car Or at least a picture OF those 23 pictures that the man included in his ad. 3. A Corolla Gets the Job Done If that job is literally getting you front point A to point B in relative safety, that is. 4. What Features Does It Have? Features?!? Features?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It has four wheels and an engine. Be grateful. 5. Wanna Hear a Story? This is it. It has a happy ending, doesn’t it? Thank you, Toyota Carolla. 6. Go Ahead. Try to Break This Car. I dare you. I double dare you. Just give it a shot. View Slideshow
Let's face it: Used car salesmen are typically known for being a shady lot. They generally used underhanded and slimy tactics in order to shill for years-old vehicles because, quite simply, who would buy one of these vehicles if the salesman was honest about it? Well, we're about to find out. This is because a man in Houston has posted a lengthy ad on Craigslist for his 1999 Toyota Carolla… and it pulls nary a punch. The brutally honest posting has gone viral because it's downright hilarious and, to other owners of other Toyota Carollas, downright relatable. Scroll down to see what we mean: 1. This is the Car It actually looks to be in pretty good shape for a nearly 20-year old car, doesn’t it? What can the owner tell us about it? 2. These are 23 Photos of the Car Or at least a picture OF those 23 pictures that the man included in his ad. 3. A Corolla Gets the Job Done If that job is literally getting you front point A to point B in relative safety, that is. 4. What Features Does It Have? Features?!? Features?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It has four wheels and an engine. Be grateful. 5. Wanna Hear a Story? This is it. It has a happy ending, doesn’t it? Thank you, Toyota Carolla. 6. Go Ahead. Try to Break This Car. I dare you. I double dare you. Just give it a shot. View Slideshow
The 2017 Academy Awards aired live on Sunday night from the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California. Jimmy Kimmel served as host. Matt Damon served as his foil. And La La Land served notice: It is now one of the most-honored films in the history of Hollywood. It musical even had a chance to set the record for most Oscars won in a single ceremony. Did it set this mark? Did it take home the grandest prize of them all? Who were the victors in the major categories? Scroll down for a full rundown! Best Supporting Actor Mahershala Ali, Moonlight Best Supporting Actress Viola Davis, Fences Best Animated Feature Zootopia Best Cinematography La La Land Best Costume Design Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Best Documentary Feature O.J.: Made in America Best Documentary Short The White Helmets Best Film Editing Hacksaw Ridge Best Foreign Language Film The Salesman Best Makeup and Hairstyling Suicide Squad Best Score La La Land Best Song City of Stars from La La Land Best Production Design La La Land Best Animated Short Piper Best Live Action Short Sing Best Sound Editing Arrival Best Sound Mixing Hacksaw Ridge Best Visual Effects The Jungle Book Best Adapted Screenplay Moonlight Best Original Screenplay Manchester by the Sea Best Director Damien Chazelle, La La Land Best Actor Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea Best Actress Emma Stone, La La Land Best Picture Moonlight View Slideshow: 2017 Oscars Fashion: Hits, Misses & Everything in Between
I went to two days of Exxotica , a 3 dayporn convention where pornstars and cam girls meet the fans and charge them money for autographs and conversation. Some of the girls hook on the side to supplement their income since porn isn’t as lucrative as it used to be. There was way more to my trip than my Farrah Coverage … I learned…. 1- Cam girls are the future of porn stars, they make more money, have more loyal fans, are less broken and trashy and do it all from the comfort of their home. They fuck if they want and they stay clothed if they want. It is a pretty good deal and I am now trying to recruit as many girls as I can for MYFREECAMS 2- Cam girls are like the annoying person at dinner addicted to their cell phone or internet connection, obsessed with their fans, always looking at a screen, but far less annoying, because they like being watched when they masturbate, and they are nicer to talk to than porn chicks who have egos, cuz cam girls are just everyday girls who figured out it’s better to get paid to masturbate than work at the mall. 3- Porn stars can be pretty rugged, beat up, and bratty cunts who think they are important cuz they fuck on camera for 1000 dollars a scene. They can be annoying to listen to talk because they are stupid as shit, but for the most part, even the horrible ones you know are insane, are great entertainment and that’s why we were there. I got there pretty much when it started because I had nothing better to do and Exxxotica was the only reason we were in Fort Lauderdale so why the fuck not. In the first 5 minutes there was a stripper behind chains, a fat ass, a Hugh Hefner lookalike every idiot in the place though was Hugh Hefner even though Hefner is dead…but not as dead as the girl who passed the fuck out. Click More To See my Coverage – WIth Pics and VINES – It’s a huge post – Get Started. All Old White People Look The Same… Lexi Belle and Teagan Pressly got their on time, because pictures had to be signed for 20 dollars a piece…that shit pays for a lot of Spray Tans… One Slutty girl and a bunch of dudes attended a seminar on breaking into the biz…I guess being uneducated and broken wasn’t one of the requirements. But I’ll bet more actual pornstars got into it cuz they are broken and not cuz they attended a seminar…. This Hitachi Magic Wand Salesman and his nurse who was pretty friendly and talking to everyone… To give random girls orgasms..for 2 days straight. I made love to some busy girls busty tits with my mind as she jiggled them for me…in the background is one of Tiger Woods’ hooker, but when next to tits like this, she doesn’t exist… This weekend – I became a huge Evan Stone fan, from his comedy to his dance routines – he’s more than just an aging pornstar holding on…he’s a living legend who still lures in the broken 18 year olds to fuck. He didn’t just dance once… He danced twice…. I learned that not all fetishes are created equally…. There were swingers… Masturbators who didn’t want my help… Fat girls lick ANYTHING when they are hungry And a whole lot of fans you’d expect to see there A pornstar was looking for male talent with the trusty post-it or lined legal paper…to match her 90 year old out of touch face Dudes who posed with thonged asses Dudes with hair they got in the 80s trailer park. Daisy Destin – Who I found Out Has Done Max Hardcore Porn…..even though she’s a cam model…what can’t this country girl do… Girls in Fishnet Who Should be in Whale net Old Menopausal Ladies getting erotic massages – That’s Someone’s grandmother people… Geat fashionable crowd. I felt like I was in Milan at Fashion week or some shit… Kristina Rose….a great 90s Dancing Indian…. An Angel Sent from heaven who walked in and out of my life…just like that… Utltimately, I came to Exxxotica for the birds. Was glad to meet all those I met….I would have stuck my tongue in more of them…but don’t need to be Michael Douglas-ed. Remember – IF I Don’t Cum…It Don’t Count and I will come…to the next Exxxotica or at leaf the one in New Jersey… Shout outs to my new best friends Raven Rockette , Sasha Pain , Savanna Steele and and Daisy Destin
A word of advice: Don’t go to see Brandon Cronenberg’s unsettling Antiviral if you’re getting over a cold or have recently undergone a medical procedure that involved the withdrawal of blood or a skin biopsy. The 33-year-old filmmaker’s debut feature makes such effective use of hypodermic needles and flesh samples that I left the screening room on unsteady feet, feeling like I’d just donated a pint of my own plasma. But do go see the movie. In a world in which Jay-Z and Beyonce’s trip to Cuba can hijack a news cycle that should be focused on gun control, sequestration and the false positives of our current economy, Antiviral is a squirm-inducing corrective for our obsession with celebrity that resonates long after the closing credits. The premise alone is perversely brilliant: Cronenberg has brought to life a queasy world in which preoccupation with fame has metastasized to the point where civilians pay good money to be infected with the copyrighted STDs of their favorite celebrity and to dine on pale, gristly cuts of meat grown from their tissue cells. At the center of this story is Syd March, played by Caleb Landry Jones , a dour salesman of celebrity sickness who, behind his employer’s back, is infecting himself with his company’s offerings so that he can extract his own bootleg versions to sell on the black market. Phil’s extracurricular dealings leave him constantly sick, but when he becomes infected with the most sought-after celebrity virus of all, things get much, much worse. I sat down with the thoughtful, soft-spoken Cronenberg in New York on Tuesday to discuss Antiviral and his own encounters with celebrity as the son of Cosmopolis director David Cronenberg . He had some particularly interesting things to say about critics who contend that his film is too similar to his father’s early work in the horror/sci-fi genre. Movieline: One of the messages I took away from Antiviral was that the lure of celebrity is irresistible, no matter how horrific or deadly it becomes. Brandon Cronenberg: The character of Syd definitely sees himself as superior to that culture and removed from it, but it has actually totally defined him and he can’t escape from it. We’re all products of our environment, and it’s hard not to be affected by that stuff in a certain way. But I wouldn’t say it’s impossible to resist. I want the film to be partly an active resistance. It does work as a corrective, especially if you are celebrity obsessed and squeamish about hypodermic needles. I think we can change the part where we’re not complicit in creating that kind of culture and supporting that industry by engaging with it in a certain way. Antiviral also works as a metaphor for how celebrity has infected news reporting and even our government. Jay-Z and Beyonce are in the news today because of their trip to Cuba when there’s so much more important stuff that should be dominating the news cycle. In the film, no one’s famous for any reason. It’s purely the industry of celebrity going as far as possible — or almost as far as possible because there’s still some loose connection to real human beings. In Japan for instance, there are purely digital celebrities, and I think probably the most extreme level would be when human beings are abandoned altogether. Then it becomes an industry that fabricates digital celebrities and prints money because people are willing to do anything to feel somehow connected to these creations even if they’re not real. Celebrity dominates the news in a way that’s often fairly stupid because it’s not about anything really significant. At the same time, it’s what gets people’s attention, and as long as those are the news stories that are getting the most hits or the biggest ratings, they will continue to get big play because news is a business. Can you envision any kind of a turning point? I don’t see it changing anytime soon, but it could in theory, so it’s important to think about it. I noticed that the name of your protagonist is the same as the artist and sculptor Sydney March, who was involved in the creation of Canada’s National War Memorial. Was that intentional? What? The name is even spelled the same. That’s one of the most interesting things I’ve heard all day. I mean it’s probably embarrassing that I don’t know that, but that wasn’t intentional. I just liked the name and probably some combination of Syd Barrett and [Cid from] the Final Fantasy video games . I took the last name from the Saul Bellow novel The Adventures of Augie March . You grew up with a fairly famous father. What was the take on celebrity in the Cronenberg household? I think there were two aspects to it. One was that I saw people who were celebrities who had this media alter ego, or this persona that was so unrelated to who they were as human beings. And that’s definitely one of the themes in the film: celebrities as these media constructs or cultural constructs that exist purely in the public consciousness and are, in many ways, fictional and unrelated to the real human being. The human being as an animal, as a body, becomes totally eclipsed by this idea that runs rampant. The body eventually dies and the idea lives on, for however many decades, to appear in commercials, to perform on stage — it goes on endlessly. That sense of a runaway double that isn’t related to the person was interesting to me thematically. And then, on a personal level, I didn’t experience anything too extreme because my father’s a director and we’re still living in Toronto. So, it’s not like we were being hounded by TMZ or anything. But it still — I would go to a school and see someone I didn’t know and they’d come up to me and be like, “I heard you were coming and we have a lot to discuss.” And that was pretty weird. They behaved as if they knew you. Yeah, exactly. So, I did have a taste of that weirdness that is fame by proxy or fame by association. You’ve said that you immersed yourself in the tabloid world of TMZ and other celebrity media to research Antiviral . Did you, or do you find any celebrities genuinely fascinating? Not so much. I think there’s a line between taking an interest in someone because you respect their work versus obsessing over them. I went through a period of reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson and he especially puts his life — or his version of his life — in his work. So, through an interest in his writing, you can’t help but be interested in what he’s done and, [wonder] how much of his writing is his own fantasy of himself and how much of that is real. But I don’t think anyone going to Cuba is that interesting. Most of it is an industry that thrives on hooking people with trivial but juicy details and playing to that gossipy society. So who are some of your other influences? There are a lot of writers I like, and a lot of filmmakers and musicians. I wouldn’t know how to begin listing them all, but I think [their influence] sort of comes to me subconsciously. I know some people usually have a particular influence that stands out and they emulate that person and learn from them. But for me it’s not really a conscious process. I felt like George Lucas’ THX 1138 was an inspiration. Only in that I’ve seen that film once. I’m not a huge THX fan and I wasn’t trying to deliberately emulate that movie. Others have been talking about my “Kubrick shot” or whatever, and, again, I like Kubrick, but I’m not a huge fan. I think it’s more that those films and filmmakers have an effect on the language of cinema in general. You told the New York Times that your father’s films have actually played a smale role in your work as a filmmaker, but a substantial part of the critical discussion of Antiviral is how much the film resembles some of his early efforts. I think you have a distinct style and vision as a filmmaker, but for those who don’t, what would you say they’re missing about your work? It’s not so much what they’re missing. I think there’s an assumption about my intent when it comes to that discussion. The assumption is that [ Antiviral ] is a deliberate emulation, that I must have been watching my father’s films since I was a kid and was brainwashed. It wasn’t really like that. As a father he had a huge influence on me obviously – genetically and because I grew up around him and we have a very good relationship. So, it’s not weird that there are overlaps when it comes to our interests and our esthetic sensibilities. Good point. And then when I got into film, I just knew that if I worried about that, that would become everything, you know? If I was just trying to avoid anything that could be associated with my father, that would be my entire career and that would define my work and that’s a really shitty place to be working from. So I just decided to do whatever I felt like doing and it became this. I can see the similarities – some of them are legitimate — but I also think some of them are very overstated because people like that narrative and they like to make that assumption. It’s an easy narrative. Yeah, exactly. In terms of the similarities, I’d say I come to them honestly. They’re honest to my own interests. For instance, some people talk about some of the hallucinatory, biomechanical stuff in Antiviral being related to his work. And I guess it is, but that scene in the closet… Where Syd merges with the machine that he’s using to make the bootleg viruses? Yeah. That was based on some old drawings that I had done. I wanted to see what they would look like as a film, and I knew as I was writing it that people would make that connection [to my father]. But I thought I just had to make sure that I didn’t avoid doing anything just to avoid that comparison. Your father is not the only filmmaker who has explored those man-meets-machine themes. Right, and my father has done a lot of other types of movies, too. He hasn’t really been making horror films for a while now. What’s the best piece of advice your father has given you about filmmaking? I don’t really have a good answer for that. He has given me some advice but there isn’t one thing that stands out. Did you show him the film early? Did he give you advice? Not really – he was pretty busy during the actual making of the film. I forget what he was doing: promoting A Dangerous Method or finishing Cosmopolis but he actually wasn’t really around during production. There’s that point where you feel the film is polished enough to show to your family and friends to get as much feedback as possible, and he saw it then. I got notes from everyone, but I don’t remember him having any dramatic advice. You don’t know what you’re doing next at this point? Not really. I mean, I am writing but it’s still in the early stages. Do you think your next picture will be in the horror-science fiction genre, or will you do something different? I don’t really like target a particular genre in advance. I wasn’t thinking horror-sci-fi when I started Antiviral , but it developed into that. And the next one probably will be, but I’m not specifically trying to do that. We’ll see where it ends up. More Antiviral coverage: REVIEW: ‘Antiviral’ − Brandon Cronenberg’s Piercing (And Icky) Look At Celebrity Obsession Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Charlize Theron is one of the most beautiful women in the world – and she’s testing the boundaries of that beauty with a new look. The Oscar winner was photographed in Los Angeles yesterday (holding adorable son Jackson), donning a hat that could not fully cover up the obvious: she has gone all Willow Smith on us! Sources confirm that Theron, who is ruling the box office these days with Snow White and the Huntsman and Prometheus , shaved her head for a role in Mad Max: Fury Road . It starts shooting next month in Africa. Compare her new look with her old one now and vote on your favorite:
Angelina Jolie will almost certainly not direct Fifty Shades of Grey , but she will star in a new PSA for a project much more important to her. The 37-year-old actress always makes time for those near and dear to her heart. In this case, that means the refugees of the planet Earth. The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees special envoy is helping raise awareness for World Refugee Day, coming up June 20. In a new PSA, Jolie points out that there are over 43 million refugees around the world. That’s 43 million human beings displaced from their homeland. Of those in need, UNHCR provides life-saving assistance to nearly 34 million. The organization’s goal is to share the poignant stories of refugees so that people across America will extend their generosity, concern and support. Jolie has served as a UN Goodwill Ambassador for more than a decade, and has visited refugees around the world. For that, our hat is off to her. [Photo: WENN.com]
Who will portray Finnick Odair in Catching Fire ? Let’s table that debate for a moment and focus on another key role from The Hunger Games sequel. Multiple sources confirm that Oscar winner and 2012 Tony Award nominee Philip Seymour Hoffman has been offered the character of Plutarch Heavensbee, the Gamemaker at the Capitol who takes over for Seneca Crane and who is far savvier than his predecessor. He plays a pivotal part in the world of Katniss, Peeta and company over the course of the next book/film chapter. Hoffman, one of the most respected actors alive, would be a major coup for new director Francis Lawrence. He just finished a run as Willy Loman in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman on Broadway . No word yet from the star or the studio, but come on. This has to happen, right? [Photo: WENN.com]