In case, like me, you were too busy using Cinco de Mayo as an excuse to get blasted on tequila, apparently it was The Met Gala in New York last night, which meant a bunch of hotties showed up to try and outdo each other on the red carpet. Here’s Kate Upton ‘s best attempt, but instead of a classy fashionable model, all I’m seeing is a black widow with big boobs. I know I’ve been saying it a lot lately, but Kate should stop trying to pretend to be something she’s not and just stick to what works: bikini photoshoots and videos like this one below of her behind-the-scenes at bikini photoshoots. You know, like how I stick to blogging instead of getting a real job. » view all 14 photos Photos: WENN.com
Beyonce playing the skinny hipster in her everyday life is really fucking confusing to me… I mean she’s some fat, rich, diva, up on some Oprah kick who thinks she’s here to save the fucking world thanks to people sucking her dick all day… But now she’s posting photoshopped pics of herself, with her wild and obscure “artist” hair….as she pretends she revolutionizing the world, as her fans call her queen Bee…as she is clearly the fucking devil who is evil and here to rape the minds of everyone.. Either way, I’d still let her sit on my face…and not just because she’s lost weight and is more fuckable/faceable, she’s fucking Beyonce and not letting her sit on my face would just be dumb… Which isn’t saying much about me, I’d let Joan Rivers during a herpes outbreak, all old and unshaven, dripping what must be a 5 decade old miscarriage into my face, sit on my face… I’m easy.
Miley Cyrus got a lesbian haircut topless and figured that she should share it in the world, because getting a lesbian haircut topless isn’t something she’d want to do in private, it’s something the fans should be in on, because she’s an attention seeking slut. Not that I’m complaining, I’m indifferent, it’s just when girls you know do this kind of thing, everyone calls them sluts, when Miley does it, it’s good content… I don’t get it, in fact it bores me…Miley’s peaked…give me new young starlet to anticipate topless pics from, these one have been done…did.
Amber Heard is in the recent issue of Jalouse looking like a dirty greasy cock choking pig…which is something she probably is, at least in the eyes of Vanessa Paradis who’s home was wrecked and kids are going to grow up all fucked up thanks to Amber Heard’s ability to seduce 50 year old men on movie sets…movie sets she’s only on because of ability to seduce…and by seduce I mean suck dick…and what it comes down to is that engaged to Johnny Depp, lesbian or straight, home wrecker, attention seeker or not..she’s pretty fucking hot…even when made to look like a greasy cock choking pig.
I guess somebody finally told Molly Sims about our annual MILF of the Year contest, because even though we haven’t seen her in months, here she is back in a bikini showing off that MILF-tastic body of hers again. That or she’s just trying to take a nice vacation with her family, but I don’t really care either way. After these pictures, she’s officially on our fake ballot. Now just keep those bikini shots coming Molly, and I’ll make sure they get the proper full consideration. » view all 12 photos Photos: Fameflynet
I’m not entirely sure what my favorite busty blonde Helen Flanagan is doing posing in a Playboy bunny costume, but I’m hoping it’s a sign that we’ll get to see Helen do Playboy in 2014. Apparently, it’s something she’s always dreamed of. Which is weird, because I’ve always dreamed of her doing Playboy too. Who knew so many people could all have the same dream?
Rosie Jones is 23…so looking at “Leaked” or recently released throwback titty pics of her at 18, when she was officially allowed to finally show her tits in exchange for very low level fame and a possible soccer playing baby daddy retirement plan…and so much has changed…I mean look how she is built and poses the exact fucking same as she does now…because she’s a natural and it just comes easy to her? Maybe. But I’m thinking it has more to do with her job being a fucking joke and all it required was a good set of tits, something she’s got…now look at em..
The worst thing about ANNE V. is that she has had sex with Adam Levine, more than once. It’s not like it was an “oops, I am at a party drunk, and this midget rockstar wants a piece of me, and I’m new to this industry, I might as well just do it up, because I am a girl and that’s what vaginas are for”…. It was a more of a “I want a famous husband to knock me up and make me legit in the world of modelling”… When all she had to do was get half naked…which I guess it is something she’s figured out…
Candice Swanepoel gave Utah a shout out, because either she shot this pic there, or she feels as though Utah is just a Cowboy filled land of polygamous relationships, that I would like to hope she is planning on retiring to, because it feels like South Africa, but more importantly, because it feels good to have multiple dick on call….not that she’s a man in a mormom home, but she’s Candice Swanepoel, fit and hot enough to make anything she want happen…like turn me on dressed like a cowgirl leading to impure thoughts of her in the barn, covered in manure, getting fucked up the ass with a rake while sucking me off….not that that is something she wants to have happen, but this is the internet, let’s pretend.