“What you are about to witness are stunts performed by experienced professionals.” So warns the new trailer for The Three Stooges , which is here to punish you with yet more inane, terrible-looking slapstick yuks . Indeed. Weep for the careers of the “professionals” prostrating themselves herein in the name of entertainment and watch the trailer, if you dare. Perhaps a more telling warning, also from the new reel which is completely devoid of plot, because who needs that, is the line “Before Jackass … there was dumbass.” Sure, Johnny Knoxville’s band of merry pranksters also subjected themselves to idiotic stunts for comedy’s sake, but you know what? Theirs was a shared pursuit of increasing stakes, pushing the human body to its limit, testing boundaries both physical and cultural while, yes, hitting each other in the balls. The Three Stooges, at least from the looks of this forced iteration of slapstick slumming as embodied by Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopolous (not to mention the Farrelly brothers), is just so utterly soul-crushing. I suppose there’s the possibility that the film will reveal some stroke of mad genius not apparent in these trailers, but I’m betting that’s a slim chance. Are you brave enough to find out come April 13? [ Yahoo! ]
What’s the Film : The Sitter (2011), new on DVD and Blu-ray via 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Why it’s an Inessential Essential : Director David Gordon Green’s transition from being an American indie darling to a reviled slacker-comedy pumper-outter is kind of astonishing. One minute, he’s being praised for being the Terrence Malick-inspired director of such films as George Washington and All The Real Girls ; the next he’s being put down for making lazy pot comedies like Your Highness and The Sitter . But the thing of it is: Green’s comedies don’t deserve to be compared to good movies. The Sitter in particular is a goofy, strange and very sloppy comedy that also happens to feature frequently inspired comedic performances from Jonah Hill and Sam Rockwell. It’s also a rare slacker comedy where a slovenly ditz who only succeeds in spite of himself never lets us forget that he’s an “asshole” (“Come on, Ricky Martin, let’s get out of here”), a “pussy” (“No, I’m a whole different pussy now”), and a total spaz (“Let that debris fall across your face, girl.”). Consistency is no longer (and I’d argue never was) Green’s strong suit. But in the realm of the slacker comedy, The Sitter is actually all right . Hill stars as Noah Griffith, a nerd too self-absorbed to see that his girlfriend Marisa (Ari Graynor) is stringing him along. To help his divorcee of a mother go out on a date, Noah reluctantly elects to baby-sit three of the most grating problem children ever committed to screen: Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez), a cherry bomb-dropping psychopath; Slater (Max Records), a histrionically repressed blueblood; and Blithe (Landry Bender), a “celebutante”-obsessed prima donna. But on top of that, Noah also has to buy cocaine from Karl (Rockwell), a body-builder-obsessed drug dealer, and avoid being arrested. How the DVD/Blu Makes the Case for the Film : The “Totally Irresponsible” edition of the film confirms a lot of my suspicions about why The Sitter ’s 81-minute theatrical cut is so all over the place. The bloopers and outtakes reels show that Green cut out a number of superior improvisational scenes. But on top of that, the already-brief 86-minute “unrated cut” actually features some footage that helps to foreshadow later scenes, such as a deleted scene where [ SPOILER ALERT ] Noah realizes Slater’s sexuality after seeing the boy stare furtively at a gay couple on the subway. [ END SPOILER ALERT ] More importantly, the deleted scenes and outtakes are a good reminder that The Sitter wouldn’t even be bearable were it not for Jonah Hill — and, to a lesser extent, Sam Rockwell’s — performances. Hill’s reactions to the film’s pint-sized terrors really carries the film. Some of the unused scenes that he and Rockwell improv are gut-bustingly random, like when Hill bitches out an effete-looking valet who loses Noah’s minivan (long story) by whining, “You didn’t lose your Vin Diesel poster,” and “You didn’t lose your Stray Cats box set!” As bad as Green’s instincts may have been when it came to The Sitter ’s kiddy-centric humor, you really can’t say that he didn’t get a good turn out of Hill — when he gave him enough space to work, that is. Other Interesting Trivia : In the “Sits-and-Giggles” outtakes reel, there’s shots of an unused green-screened sequence where Sam Rockwell and Jonah Hill fight on a carousel. At one point, Hill jokes about needing a safe word, though it’s unclear whether he’s in character or not. I bet that scene was funny. PREVIOUSLY : Inessential Essentials: The Last Temptation of Christ on Blu-ray Simon Abrams is a NY-based freelance film critic whose work has been featured in outlets like The Village Voice, Time Out New York, Vulture and Esquire. Additionally, some people like his writing, which he collects at Extended Cut .
With both an Oscars appearance and a No. 1 movie within the last month, Jonah Hill’s 2012 is on pace to exceed even his stellar 2011. And the folks behind The Sitter know it, dropping the David Gordon Green-directed comedy on DVD and Blu-ray this week for prime placement amid Jonahmania. But they also know, as Green mentioned in interviews last year, that the 81-minute movie yielded a trove of deleted scenes — one of which Movieline is debuting right here and now. Behold J.B. Smoove breaking up a conference between Hill’s hapless babysitter Noah and the film’s drug dealer freak-o Karl (Sam Rockwell). Or maybe Smoove’s character is the freak-o. Or maybe both of them are. There is no shortage of freak-os in this clip, is what I’m trying to say (it’s mostly SFW, for the record): Who hasn’t been there? Right? OK. Stay tuned for more coverage of The Sitter in this week’s installment of Inessential Essentials at Movieline. Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
As you likely know, the Golden Raspberry Awards are quickly approaching with all the promise of recognizing the worst of the last year in cinema. As you also likely know, the reaction to the Razzies among film critics and commentators has yielded many of the same complaints we hear every year: The nominations tend to omit movies that take themselves more seriously and/or aspire to something a little more sophisticated than Adam Sandler jump-roping with his shrill twin sister. The editors at Movieline concur with this perspective and hope to change it with the help of both esteemed peers and loyal readers. Thus the inaugural Soily Awards, our attempt to reconcile the year’s highest-profile Hollywood misfires with their truly uninspired brethren. To be awarded on March 23, the Soilies will showcase the new spectrum of awful that confronts today’s filmgoers, with the ultimate goal of redefining Bad Movies for the 21st century. Or at least not letting high-achieving 2011 crapmakers like Clint Eastwood or Natalie Portman off the hook. Winners in the six categories below — whose nominees were chosen by Movieline’s distinguished Brown-Ribbon panel of experts — will receive one of the lovely Soilies statuettes seen above. We have a brand-new Facebook page for the occasion, where a Reader’s Choice component will be introduced as well later this week. Stay tuned! The inaugural nominees are: The Soily for Worst Picture of 2011 The most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011. The more ambitious/pretentious, the better. Abduction Conan the Barbarian Green Lantern The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Transformers: Dark of the Moon The Soily for Achievement in Bad Directing The director of the most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011 — or maybe just most appalling director? (NOTE: The award will be named after its inaugural winner.) Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon Dennis Dugan, Jack and Jill Clint Eastwood, J. Edgar David Gordon Green, Your Highness and The Sitter Zack Snyder, Sucker Punch The Soily for Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the worst and/or least inspired performance by any actor in any film in 2011. Russell Brand, Arthur Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs Taylor Lautner, Abduction and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four and Beastly Adam Sandler, Just Go With It and Jack and Jill The Brown Paycheck Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the most lopsided ratio of salary to quality. Bradley Cooper, The Hangover Part II Harrison Ford, Cowboys and Aliens Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It Helen Mirren, Arthur Natalie Portman, Your Highness , No Strings Attached and Thor The Shart Prize A film that seemed like it might be bad but turned out much, much more aromatically awful than anyone could have imagined. Arthur Atlas Shrugged: Part I Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Your Highness Zookeeper The Shit-the-Bed Award Arguably the most prestigious Soily, this honor goes to the movie that, despite its pedigree and everything it had going for it on paper, nevertheless resulted in a massive failure to move the cultural needle or achieve anything remotely resembling entertainment. Carnage Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Iron Lady J. Edgar War Horse I would like to thank the Soilies’ extraordinary Brown-Ribbon Panel for their contributions both here and to come as we vote on the year’s worst:
Sherlock Holmes may have won the weekend with a modest debut, but was it the real box office winner? Not with Tom Cruise and the Mission: Impossible gang around to flaunt their fab limited release per-screen average in everyone’s faces, a precursor to next week’s Christmastime blitz. And, yeah. The new Chipmunks is out. A moment of silence for all the poor souls who helped it debut in the number two slot. I’d wager even David Cross feels for you.
What is going on out there, people? All these franchises and rehashes at the multiplex, and Hollywood can’t interest you in any of them? Last week it was the aromatic anti-charm of New Year’s Eve falling flat on opening weekend, and now new installments of Sherlock Holmes and Alvin and the Chipmunks are limping along at the front of the pack? At least Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol showed signs life in limited IMAX release, but ugh . Next week’s Christmas harvest couldn’t come soon enough, but for now, your Friday Box Office is here.
Nationwide audiences had New Years Eve and The Sitter to choose from this weekend, and so, they didn’t. This weekend’s box office tally is weak, and Breaking Dawn, Part I is still lingering in the top 3 like an undead slime. Time for some Dragon Tattoo upheaval, STAT. Bring on Christmas! Let’s discuss the breakdown after the jump.
If you’re a big Hollywood star, why go overseas to shoot a cheesy foreign commercial for millions of dollars when you could just go to Davenport, Iowa, and shoot an equally cheesy domestic commercial for free? That’s what Will Ferrell figured recently when he approached the Pabst Brewing Co. out of the blue and offered his services for an Old Milwaukee ad campaign pro bono.
Having begun his career as American independent film’s great hope with delicate, languid features like George Washington and All the Real Girls , David Gordon Green has devoted the last few years to turning out goofball stoner comedies that, aside from their hip and very current casts, could seem like forgotten oddball ’80s artifacts discovered in a box of dusty VHS tapes at a garage sale. While it’s not a career trajectory anyone who went googly-eyed over his early output would have guessed for him, there’s an unmistakable undercurrent of glee to these recent films that suggests Green — who still works with many of the crew members with which he started, including composer David Wingo and DP Tim Orr — is having a great time making exactly the type of movies he wants to.
Stephen Colbert continued his two-part “Been There, Won That” special last night with a performance by John Legend, free t-shirts and a Snooki tutorial. Elsewhere, Craig Ferguson dissed Rashida Jones and her new film, Jimmy Kimmel took a Modern Family star back-to-school shopping, Meghan McCain accepted a love letter from Jon Stewart and Diane Sawyer shared her husband’s morning advice.
