As you likely know, the Golden Raspberry Awards are quickly approaching with all the promise of recognizing the worst of the last year in cinema. As you also likely know, the reaction to the Razzies among film critics and commentators has yielded many of the same complaints we hear every year: The nominations tend to omit movies that take themselves more seriously and/or aspire to something a little more sophisticated than Adam Sandler jump-roping with his shrill twin sister. The editors at Movieline concur with this perspective and hope to change it with the help of both esteemed peers and loyal readers. Thus the inaugural Soily Awards, our attempt to reconcile the year’s highest-profile Hollywood misfires with their truly uninspired brethren. To be awarded on March 23, the Soilies will showcase the new spectrum of awful that confronts today’s filmgoers, with the ultimate goal of redefining Bad Movies for the 21st century. Or at least not letting high-achieving 2011 crapmakers like Clint Eastwood or Natalie Portman off the hook. Winners in the six categories below — whose nominees were chosen by Movieline’s distinguished Brown-Ribbon panel of experts — will receive one of the lovely Soilies statuettes seen above. We have a brand-new Facebook page for the occasion, where a Reader’s Choice component will be introduced as well later this week. Stay tuned! The inaugural nominees are: The Soily for Worst Picture of 2011 The most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011. The more ambitious/pretentious, the better. Abduction Conan the Barbarian Green Lantern The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Transformers: Dark of the Moon The Soily for Achievement in Bad Directing The director of the most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011 — or maybe just most appalling director? (NOTE: The award will be named after its inaugural winner.) Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon Dennis Dugan, Jack and Jill Clint Eastwood, J. Edgar David Gordon Green, Your Highness and The Sitter Zack Snyder, Sucker Punch The Soily for Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the worst and/or least inspired performance by any actor in any film in 2011. Russell Brand, Arthur Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs Taylor Lautner, Abduction and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four and Beastly Adam Sandler, Just Go With It and Jack and Jill The Brown Paycheck Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the most lopsided ratio of salary to quality. Bradley Cooper, The Hangover Part II Harrison Ford, Cowboys and Aliens Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It Helen Mirren, Arthur Natalie Portman, Your Highness , No Strings Attached and Thor The Shart Prize A film that seemed like it might be bad but turned out much, much more aromatically awful than anyone could have imagined. Arthur Atlas Shrugged: Part I Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Your Highness Zookeeper The Shit-the-Bed Award Arguably the most prestigious Soily, this honor goes to the movie that, despite its pedigree and everything it had going for it on paper, nevertheless resulted in a massive failure to move the cultural needle or achieve anything remotely resembling entertainment. Carnage Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Iron Lady J. Edgar War Horse I would like to thank the Soilies’ extraordinary Brown-Ribbon Panel for their contributions both here and to come as we vote on the year’s worst:
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