Tag Archives: i am number four

Introducing the Soily Awards, Movieline’s Inaugural Tribute to Cinema’s Worst

As you likely know, the Golden Raspberry Awards are quickly approaching with all the promise of recognizing the worst of the last year in cinema. As you also likely know, the reaction to the Razzies among film critics and commentators has yielded many of the same complaints we hear every year: The nominations tend to omit movies that take themselves more seriously and/or aspire to something a little more sophisticated than Adam Sandler jump-roping with his shrill twin sister. The editors at Movieline concur with this perspective and hope to change it with the help of both esteemed peers and loyal readers. Thus the inaugural Soily Awards, our attempt to reconcile the year’s highest-profile Hollywood misfires with their truly uninspired brethren. To be awarded on March 23, the Soilies will showcase the new spectrum of awful that confronts today’s filmgoers, with the ultimate goal of redefining Bad Movies for the 21st century. Or at least not letting high-achieving 2011 crapmakers like Clint Eastwood or Natalie Portman off the hook. Winners in the six categories below — whose nominees were chosen by Movieline’s distinguished Brown-Ribbon panel of experts — will receive one of the lovely Soilies statuettes seen above. We have a brand-new Facebook page for the occasion, where a Reader’s Choice component will be introduced as well later this week. Stay tuned! The inaugural nominees are: The Soily for Worst Picture of 2011 The most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011. The more ambitious/pretentious, the better. Abduction Conan the Barbarian Green Lantern The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Transformers: Dark of the Moon The Soily for Achievement in Bad Directing The director of the most appalling, misconceived and/or unpleasant-to-watch film of 2011 — or maybe just most appalling director? (NOTE: The award will be named after its inaugural winner.) Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon Dennis Dugan, Jack and Jill Clint Eastwood, J. Edgar David Gordon Green, Your Highness and The Sitter Zack Snyder, Sucker Punch The Soily for Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the worst and/or least inspired performance by any actor in any film in 2011. Russell Brand, Arthur Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs Taylor Lautner, Abduction and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I Alex Pettyfer, I Am Number Four and Beastly Adam Sandler, Just Go With It and Jack and Jill The Brown Paycheck Achievement in Bad Acting A unisex award recognizing the most lopsided ratio of salary to quality. Bradley Cooper, The Hangover Part II Harrison Ford, Cowboys and Aliens Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It Helen Mirren, Arthur Natalie Portman, Your Highness , No Strings Attached and Thor The Shart Prize A film that seemed like it might be bad but turned out much, much more aromatically awful than anyone could have imagined. Arthur Atlas Shrugged: Part I Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Your Highness Zookeeper The Shit-the-Bed Award Arguably the most prestigious Soily, this honor goes to the movie that, despite its pedigree and everything it had going for it on paper, nevertheless resulted in a massive failure to move the cultural needle or achieve anything remotely resembling entertainment. Carnage Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Iron Lady J. Edgar War Horse I would like to thank the Soilies’ extraordinary Brown-Ribbon Panel for their contributions both here and to come as we vote on the year’s worst:

A Tribute To the People Who Write Excruciatingly Detailed Wikipedia Plot Summaries For Movies That Suck

There is a group of individuals whom Movieline would like to salute: The passionate, faceless people who lovingly record, in surprising detail and with confounding care, the full plot summaries for horrible movies on Wikipedia. Wikipedia movie plot historians, your day has come. I first recognized this phenomenon last month. While researching several pivotal roles in Kirsten Dunst’s career for the actresses’s 9 Milestones in the Evolution of… feature, I noticed (and greatly appreciated) that an Internet user had heroically outlined the entire plot of her long-forgotten and laughable 1998 television movie Fifteen and Pregnant . The plot summary is delivered in four straightforward paragraphs which remarkably do not acknowledge the ridiculousness of this poorly-scripted and self-righteous project. Here is just a taste… “The film opens with fourteen year old Tina having sex with Ray. A few days later Tina is sitting in the car with her mother and Tina’s mother asks her if she knows anyone who is sexually active at her age, or if she has ever been sexually active, and Tina nods her head yes, although her mother doesn’t know what she is admitting.” Granted, the person who was so moved by the melodramatic play-by-play of Fifteen and Pregnant that he/she rushed to his/her computer and tapped out a painfully accurate recap, is by no means a scholar. But skill or grasp of the English language is not the point here: The dedication is. For example, do you know how much you’d have to pay me to watch Troll 2 again and compose an entire 11 paragraph summary without a single critical inflection? (The most derogatory statement about the film in its Wikipedia entry is that it is “widely considered to be of poor quality.”) Do you know how severely you would need to threaten me before I typed out 1,000 words on the detestable Rob Reiner film North ? Do you know how many Target gift cards you would have to hire Woody Harrelson to strew onto a hotel bed Indecent Proposal -style before I agreed to not only view New Year’s Eve but to pen an earnest six-paragraph summary of this particular Garry Marshall’s holiday disaster-piece ? (The answers to these three questions are “a ton,” “very severely,” and “like, $10,000 worth.”) The heroic Wikipedia users who composed the above plot summaries may not have saved any lives. But they did save brain cells — brain cells that could have met a similar fate as the millions of those left to be swept up along with the neglected candy and self-respect on the floor of every Jack and Jill -screening multiplex auditorium in America last month. Because hopefully, some smart moviegoers elected to just read the Wikipedia plot summary of the film so that they could appropriately rag on it at the water cooler without paying for a partial Adam Sandler-performed lobotomy. Or maybe a few intelligent viewers decided against seeing the film after its detailed Wiki page informed them that the “comedy” would feature “cameos” from Bruce Jenner, Regis Philbin and Drew Carey. Or maybe that is all just wishful thinking and Wikipedia plot summary movie-going prevention is just a hope for the future. Either way, I am thankful for the bold Wiki user who dared to recount every minor plot twist in Showgirls so that I never have to re-watch the film to rediscover how much Cristal and Zach paid Nomi for a lap dance at the Cheetah ($500). So please, in honor of these Wikipedia movie plot historians, take a moment and scan through a few detailed recaps of your least favorite movies of all time. Recognize the effort, thank the faceless writers in whichever way you deem fit and maybe consider tapping out a few future plot summaries of your own. For without these loving recaps, human beings might actually have to sit through a screening of Gigli to fully recognize the film’s atrociousness. Follow Julie Miller on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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A Tribute To the People Who Write Excruciatingly Detailed Wikipedia Plot Summaries For Movies That Suck

What Was the Most Pirated Movie of 2011?

This past October, we looked long and hard briefly at the most pirated films of all time — a fairly predictable list that included blockbuster titles like Avatar , The Dark Knight and Transformers . Today, TorrentFreak has released a more current snapshot of the movie-stealing industry: A list of the top ten pirated films this year. Surprisingly, there are a few films on this list that you probably paid to see. Courtesy of TorrentFreak, the top five stolen titles of the year are… Fast Five (9,260,000 downloads) The Hangover II (8,840,000 downloads) Thor (8,330,000 downloads) Source Code (7,910,000 downloads) I Am Number Four (7,670,000 downloads) The first five films grossed over $100 million worldwide each and nearly $2 billion worldwide together. Head on over to TorrentFreak to see the complete list, which surprisingly includes one Oscar winner and one Oscar nominee. [via TorrentFreak ]

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What Was the Most Pirated Movie of 2011?

What Was the Most Pirated Movie of 2011?

This past October, we looked long and hard briefly at the most pirated films of all time — a fairly predictable list that included blockbuster titles like Avatar , The Dark Knight and Transformers . Today, TorrentFreak has released a more current snapshot of the movie-stealing industry: A list of the top ten pirated films this year. Surprisingly, there are a few films on this list that you probably paid to see. Courtesy of TorrentFreak, the top five stolen titles of the year are… Fast Five (9,260,000 downloads) The Hangover II (8,840,000 downloads) Thor (8,330,000 downloads) Source Code (7,910,000 downloads) I Am Number Four (7,670,000 downloads) The first five films grossed over $100 million worldwide each and nearly $2 billion worldwide together. Head on over to TorrentFreak to see the complete list, which surprisingly includes one Oscar winner and one Oscar nominee. [via TorrentFreak ]

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What Was the Most Pirated Movie of 2011?

Friday Box Office: Glee-ful Dianna Agron Falls Short Of Mean Mom January Jones In Battle Of The TV Blonds

Dianna Agron’s chances of being Glee ‘s first cast member to become a movie star hit a small snag Friday as her first major film, I Am Number Four , underperformed at the box office, leading Unknown , the Liam Neeson and January Jones thriller, to the number one spot. Critically panned cross-dressing comedy Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son had to settle for number three, barely beating out Just Go With It . Your Friday box office is here.

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Friday Box Office: Glee-ful Dianna Agron Falls Short Of Mean Mom January Jones In Battle Of The TV Blonds

REVIEW: Let’s Just Shoot I Am Number Four Back Into Space, OK?

Anyone who has ever been a child or played with one is familiar with the narrative universe of I Am Number Four , a teen alien/superhero/savior/vampire mash-up that’s all guts and no glory. In it, things happen in an order that’s too erratic to be called a sequence and yet too processed to amount to much of a story. Props, plot points, and ass-saving contingencies erupt only on the point of crisis, as they do in child’s play: Oh you’re an alien from a far-off planet? Well I am a different alien sent to kill you ! Oh you suddenly have superpowers to deflect my intergalactic weapons? Well guess what–I have a monster Fire-proof shield!

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REVIEW: Let’s Just Shoot I Am Number Four Back Into Space, OK?

REVIEW: Let’s Just Shoot I Am Number Four Back Into Space, OK?

Anyone who has ever been a child or played with one is familiar with the narrative universe of I Am Number Four , a teen alien/superhero/savior/vampire mash-up that’s all guts and no glory. In it, things happen in an order that’s too erratic to be called a sequence and yet too processed to amount to much of a story. Props, plot points, and ass-saving contingencies erupt only on the point of crisis, as they do in child’s play: Oh you’re an alien from a far-off planet? Well I am a different alien sent to kill you ! Oh you suddenly have superpowers to deflect my intergalactic weapons? Well guess what–I have a monster Fire-proof shield!

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REVIEW: Let’s Just Shoot I Am Number Four Back Into Space, OK?

Alex Pettyfer on I Am Number Four, Beastly and the Magic of Cinematic Sweat

It is an exciting time for Alex Pettyfer. Based on the box office performance of his first big budget film, I Am Number Four — which premieres tomorrow — the 20-year-old English model-turned-thesp could join Robert Pattinson in the ranks of hunky, tortured heartthrobs. Like Pattinson’s Twilight character, Pettyfer plays a sensitive-yet-inhuman high school student at once trying to fit in, overcome supernatural obstacles, and win the heart of his mortal crush (played by Pettyfer’s real-life-girlfriend Dianna Agron). And with the sci-fi thriller’s all-star pedigree — D.J. Caruso directed while Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay produced — I Am Number Four is indeed poised to carry the handsome Pettyfer from verge to vampire-level popularity.

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Alex Pettyfer on I Am Number Four, Beastly and the Magic of Cinematic Sweat

The Full Trailer for I Am Number Four: Yep, Still Looks Like Twilight

When we last saw some marketing for I Am Number Four — the latest bit of teen pop from Dreamworks and director D.J. Caruso — it looked an awful lot like Twilight . The brooding male lead who isn’t what he seems…the porcelain-skinned ingenue who has his heart…the jumping and flying and assorted chasing. All that was missing was vampire fangs. Does the latest trailer rectify that omission?

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The Full Trailer for I Am Number Four: Yep, Still Looks Like Twilight

The I Am Number Four Trailer: Twilight With Aliens

“Number 1 was killed in Malaysia. Number 2 was murdered in England. Number 3 was hunted down in Kenya. Before they come for the others, they’ll come for me. I am Number 4.” Ominous! That’s “John Smith” — a.k.a. Number Four — one of six remaining aliens from the planet Lorien, describing his plight at the beginning of the trailer for I Am Number Four . What’s his course of action for survival?

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The I Am Number Four Trailer: Twilight With Aliens