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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Questions and Answers

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Vicki’s looking for answers on  The Real Housewives of Orange County . Gretchen, on the other hand, is looking to pop the question! Oh, and Terry sold their house for $16.4 million dollars. No big deal. (Hey, remember when Tamra pretended to be Heather’s realtor??) Let’s catch up with these OC Housewives with our  THG +/- recap! Gretchen’s at home with her puppies, finally back in town from Canada and filling Slade in on the drama with Tamra. And apparently Heather sent her some pretty condescending text messages that make Heather seem like a Jealous Julie.  Green’s not a great color for you, Heather.  Minus 12. Terry takes Heather to a beautiful lot with a view of the harbor. $16,450,000 for their custom home. All because they need a 4th bedroom upstairs.  Somehow, they’re going from a 15,000 square foot home to a 17,000 square foot home and that’s going to allow Terry to work less and be home more. Huh. Interesting. Eddie and Tamra are two weeks out from the grand opening of their fitness studio. They’ve finally gotten a moment to get together and have dinner and Tamra asks the waitress if the restaurant they’re at does weddings. Eddie scoffs.  Minus 10. She asks him to be honest with her. He shows no interest in planning a wedding and she wants to know what he’s thinking. He says the last thing on his mind is the wedding because the wedding isn’t going to pay the bills. Then he tells her to stop pressuring him. Tamra’s not going to plan a wedding until Eddie gives her a date. He tells her to get a wedding planner and she says they need a date first. And they have a date! Plus 30.  On June 22nd Tamra Barney will become Mrs. Judge . (Actually it was June 13th. I guess the chapel wasn’t available on their original date.) Vicki had an allergic reaction to her eyelashes.  Minus 8 . She’s going to Napa to distill and test Vicki’s Vodka. Brooks will be there. Minus 10.  Briana’s not happy about the fact that he’s leeched on to Vicki’s Vodka.  Baby Troy looks exactly like his dad. Exactly.  Plus 2. Vicki says she doesn’t need a man to support her but she wants a partner. Briana tells her to keep looking. Vicki says they need to agree to disagree and huffs out to catch her flight. Alexis has invited Gretchen to lunch to chat after their trip to Whistler. Alexis should maybe not attempt these meetings without Lydia and her peace pipe. Gretchen wants to know why Alexis never reached out and Alexis says she reached out on Twitter. Alexis starts to cry.  Minus 12. Alexis really wants to make amends and be friends with Gretchen again but Gretchen’s having no part of it. She doesn’t know how they go back to where they were before and she’s not really interested in trying. Poor Alexis thought they’d hug and make up and skip out of the restaurant holding hands after exchanging BFF bracelets. Nope.  Minus 8 Slowly but surely, every other woman is isolating herself from Gretchen and it’s kind of weird to see. Maybe it’s the editing but it really doesn’t seem like Gretchen is doing anything overtly worthy of everyone dropping her. Aside from being kind of a ditz, which she’s always been.  Doug and Lydia are hosting their Life Group. Life Group is a bunch of people who are going through life together. And share cake and tea.  Plus 7 Lydia’s “natural trait” is to be silly. That’s her gift from God. Silliness.  Really, Lydia? That’s the best you can do?  Vicki and Brooks are with two other business partners and she refers to him in the past tense like he’s not there at all. Then says “I don’t know what we are!” like that’s not an awkward car ride.  Minus 8. She keeps saying Brooks isn’t her business partner. Robert is her business partner. Brooks is the idea man.  When they sample the bacon vodka, she names her signature drink the “Bloody Piggy” as both a nod and weird reverse insult to Slade.  Alexis is on her way to film a pilot for an FBI drama and she says, of her marriage, that right now “the I of he and I is much more…one.”  Yeah. I don’t understand her either. She feels comfortable with her acting ability because of the classes she’s been taking. And she knows that Heather and Gretchen haven’t been called for this role.  Plus 4. She’s reading for the role of a child psychologist. When she reads the lines “I’m just going to show you a picture” she actually draws a picture to show it to the producers reading with her. Ha. Hahahahhaha.  Minus 6. Alexis knows she’s no Julia Roberts, but she hopes that maybe she can play “a day in the life of Jennifer Aniston” because Jennifer’s just so cute! Ha. Hahaha. Hahahhahaha.  Minus 8. I can’t tell if the producer is feeding her a line with his “a lot of things are starting to happen right now” or if he legitimately thought she gave a convincing read.  Gretchen’s hitting the recording studio to put down the vocals to a track she’s going to use to propose to Slade. She knows she’s not the best singer, and the songwriters have the blank stare going hardcore when she tells them that she and Slade were praying for each other at the same time. But this is coming from her heart.  Plus 9 I wish you could see the look on the producers’ faces after she sings. Priceless. Vicki and Brooks head to dinner and she wants to tell him thank you no matter where they, personally, end up. He responds with “you’re only as strong as your weakest link.” Um.  Minus 12. She wishes they were still together like they used to be. And in order to tell him that she tells him about the stories Lauri told her. He denies it all saying he’s just a big tipper and has been trying to stay far away from her friends. She believes him. Minus 20. Vicki tells him that Briana has been staying with Ryan so she’d like to have him over to the house when Briana’s away. He’s not hearing it. He believes Vicki’s allowing herself to be pushed around by her “adult grown daughter who is now a mother” and seems to want Vicki to choose him over Briana.  Vicki tells him that he’s confused when it comes to the two of them and he says no, he’s not, but she is. He’s not going to sit around and wait on her and Briana is tearing them apart. Finally, he spells it out for her. They’re dating, but they’re not exclusively dating. They’re going to make a lot of money together. He wants the best for her but things have to change for them to be together. So now Vicki can stop asking if they’re dating or not dating. EPISODE TOTAL: -62 SEASON TOTAL: -309

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Jamie Foxx Honors Trayvon Martin with T-Shirt at BET Awards

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Jamie Foxx donned a t-shirt in honor of slain teen Trayvon Martin at the BET Awards last night. But the actor says he wasn’t make any kind of political statement with the act. “The reason for the shirt is that I met his mom personally… it’s not political, it’s not left, it’s not right, it’s not black, it’s not white, this is about the kid,” Foxx told Kevin Frazier of The Insider , adding: “For all of us, no matter what color you are… I have kids [one who is] 19. I have a kid who’s 4. You want to protect them.” At the MTV Movie Awards in April, Foxx wore a different shirt with the faces of Martin and the children killed at the Newtown shooting on it. Accompanying those images were the words “Know Justice, Know Peace.” The George Zimmerman trial , meanwhile, is underway with the man accused of murdering Martin claiming he acted in self-defense.

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Kelly Clarkson Covers "I Will Wait," Remains Awesome

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

This just in: Kelly Clarkson is still totally talented and awesome. During a recent concert stop, the original American Idol – who is reportedly in the running for a judging spot on that show in 2014 – covered Mumford & Sons’ mega hit “I Will Wait.” And if she didn’t outdo the initial version, she at the very least made its creator awfully proud. Watch and listen to Clarkson do her thing now and then listen to her new country track ” Tie It Up .” Is there anything this woman can’t do?!? Kelly Clarkson – “I Will Wait” (Live)

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The Bachelorette Recap: Running Of The Bulls

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Viva Barcelona! Desiree and the men are in Spain, where there’s sure to be a whole lot of bull, if you know what we mean. Will Drew and Kasey’s plan cause Desiree to send James home? Or will they find themselves rose-less? You can just go read The Bachelorette spoilers  or play along with our  THG +/- review system!  Desiree Hartsock loves everything about Barcelona, especially the churches, and says it’s the perfect place to fall in love. She’s hopeful that she’ll fall “completely,” which is better than halfway?  Fresh off of helping Ben get ousted, Michael has jumped on the Anti-James Train. It’s pretty ridiculous.  Minus 5 . Drew gets the first solo date card, his first solo date with Desiree. He doesn’t plan to address the situation with James unless there’s time for it. Something tells me there will be time for it.   Desiree says that her relationship with Drew has moved more slowly but they’re friends, which is a great basis for a relationship. He jumps right into kissing her and gets that out of the way probably in hopes of keeping himself out of the dreaded Friend Zone. And then he just keeps kissing her every chance he gets because he’s so “crazy” about her. Drew’s hero is his dad who is a recovered alcoholic. He gets a little teary when he tells her about his dad and she gets goosebumps hearing the story.  P lus 4 . Desiree says she just trusts Drew. But he hasn’t tattled on James yet, so there’s that. At dinner, she thanks him for opening up to her and he says he’s overcome with emotions which are running crazy. He ushers her away from the dinner table and they try to outrun the cameras for a heated make-out session against a wall in an alley.  Plus 40  because HOT. Desiree calls Drew strong and emotional and says he has many of the qualities she’s looking for and then gives him a rose. And then he ruins the moment by telling her about James.  Minus 40 because buzzkill. The next day, Drew fills Kasey and Michael in on his conversation with Desiree. Kasey is worried about balancing his feelings for Desiree with what he knows about James. Michael’s worried about his sweatband but has a list of questions ready for cross-examination, I’m sure. Juan Pablo is in his element on the group date, which is a soccer match against one of Spain’s womens’ teams.  The guys seem to think they’ll have this game in the bag and completely discount the girls’ ability to play soccer. The trash talking is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as James “playing” goalie.  Dear James, GOALIE. Not GOALPOST. Don’t just stand there! MOVE.  Minus 8 At the group date cocktail party, Kasey’s ready to confront James. All the guys are ready to confront James. Except Chris who goes with Desiree to her room where she tells him how athletic he is and then reads him a poem she wrote. Barf.  Minus 2 . Chris and Des apparently have their own love scale.  Kasey and Michael decide to confront James while Des spends time with Juan Pablo. They ambush him and ask him about his statements that if he made the final four, he could become the next bachelor.  He’s shocked. Either because they think he said this or because they know he said it.  While that’s happening, Brooks and Des talk about how they’re emotionally invested and in a good space. He’s glad he’s not downstairs for the conversation with James. Since part of me is Team Brooks, I’m also glad he’s not downstairs.  Plus 7 Michael jumps into Attorney Mode and James starts yelling. Chris tries to shush them and it doesn’t work. James starts wagging his finger around and denies what Kasey and Drew heard. Vehemently denies.  Minus 5 Michael says he sounds like he’s auditioning for the Jersey Shore. James leaves the room. Desiree asks James to stay behind and talk to her and tells all of the guys that she’s not handing out a rose to anyone but she’ll walk them out.  Plus 3 for being a good hostess. She feels “blindsided” and decides to grab the bull by his horns to get her answers. He tries to interrupt and she just keeps talking. He tries to put everything on Mikey T.  He puts everything on the guys and says they’re only trying to ruin what he and Desiree has because they’re jealous of his connection with her.  He starts to cry. She starts to cry. He says it’s tough. She says it’s tough.  She needs the night to process and he’s emotionally exhausted. And now I’m exhausted watching the faux-drama unfold. Minus 10 .  Michael’s still wearing his Attorney cape while they sit around talking about James as James is riding up in the elevator. They didn’t expect him to walk back in the door.  The next morning, James is sitting on the roof all by himself and Zak is preparing himself for his one-on-one date with Desiree. She’s feeling depressed, which means Zak is the perfect guy to go on a date with today. He’s always happy.  Plus 10 . They’re going to spend the day doing “artistic” things. So descriptive.  They take a sketch class and end up drawing each other. He apparently studied at the Picasso school of Des drawings but it makes her laugh.  Plus 12. Their second model is male. And nude. And Des says “I feel like I do heads bigger than they’re supposed to be.” And THAT is the line of the night.  Plus 15 . And let’s go ahead and give Zak another  Plus 25 for those excellent faces when the model dropped trou. He gets another plus 20 for dropping his OWN trou to make her laugh even more. Zak and Des eat dinner in a cave. It’s actually a wine cellar, but it’s also kind of a cave.  He wants a relationship just like his parents have. They’ve been married for over 30 years. But he also wants to continue to experience adventures. He believes his need to explore is why he’s still single.  His joy and infectious spirit gets him the date rose.  Plus 4. They make out in the pathway that leads back out of the cave.  Back at the suite, James asks to speak to Drew. James keeps saying that what he said was that if he made it to the top four and Des cuts him, the  worst thing that could happen to him would be that he becomes the next bachelor. Uhhh, James? I’d say the  worst thing that could happen to you is that you go home and continue to live a life of obscurity and no one ever knows you were ever on this silly show, but hey, I understand words and apparently you don’t.  Drew tells him that even having that thought means that he’s not really here for Des, and while I don’t necessarily agree with Drew, I don’t think James is really here for Des. So. All of the guys except James are sitting around chatting and James walks in. He sits next between Juan Pablo and Michael on the couch and Michael bristles. Brooks scoots over to give Michael a little more room. Minus 5 Des shows up and takes James out to finish their chat from the night of the group date. She believes she needs to send him home but also believes they had something and needs to talk to him about it. Go with your gut, Des. Go with your gut.  He talks non-stop for what feels like an eternity and says she’s beautiful and he’s there to fall in love with her and all she hears is everything he’s had an entire day to rehearse.  He says this has been hard and he feels more alive than he has and she starts to cry. He does the man thing and says “please don’t cry.” BECAUSE THAT WORKS, DUDE.  Minus 8 They start to laugh and she leans into him and they’re sort of snuggling and all the wind is sucked out of Drew’s sails as he sees it.  Chris asks James what he and Des talked about like he doesn’t already know. James laughs and says “exactly the situation that occurred.” Except, you know, probably not exactly. Chris is not happy at all. Not at all.  You know the two coming out of this smelling like, uh, roses? Juan Pablo and Zak. The two of them have said  nada about this entire situation.  Plus 9 . Finally, it’s time for the rose ceremony. Finally. No cocktail party. Just straight to the good part. Zak and Drew both received roses on their one-on-one dates. Joining them to continue on to the next leg of this journey are: Chris Brooks Michael And with that, Kasey, Juan Pablo, and James head back to reality. Juan Pablo thought he and Des had a connection and he’s sad. There are legitimate tears. Drew and Michael are more excited about the fact that James is gone than they are anything else and Michael actually says “case dismissed.” Michael, Des? Really? Weird. EPISODE TOTAL: +66 SEASON TOTAL: +326

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Say Yes To The Dress

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The third time’s the charm for Tamra Barney! She has the groom. She has the bling. And if the ladies have anything to do with it, she’ll have the dress, too. And Vicki will get some shocking news about Brooks thanks to Lauri, who went away to marry George but has come back again to start trouble because apparently her new life was boring. Silly housewife. Let’s catch up with them now with our  THG +/- recap! Tamra meets Eddie at what will eventually, hopefully, maybe be their fitness studio. He’s set up a candlelight dinner on a card table. How romantic!  Plus 8. They were supposed to be open weeks ago and there’s still no floor.  Eddie’s so not interested in hearing Tamra talk about her Spanx. So not. Fake it, Eddie. Fake it. He asks about the Alexis-Gretchen drama and about Gretchen backing out of dress shopping and says that Gretchen’s being childish. Really, Gretchen’s just being a friend and knows that if she goes she might fight with Alexis and doesn’t want that for Tamra.  Plus 3.   Heather has another table read! She’s going to read for a guest starring role on  Malibu Country . Terry was excited when he heard this time and didn’t crack a joke! Hooray, Terry! You really can teach an old dog new tricks!  Plus 5 . Lauri and Vicki show up at Tamra’s and they’ve brought coffee. Lauri thinks it’s funny that Tamra’s getting married for a third time when Tamra cracked jokes about Lauri’s third wedding.  Tamra’s previous wedding dresses were maternity dresses. The fact that this one isn’t is a big deal.  Plus 8. Lydia believes that “marriage is forever” and says that about Tamra’s pending wedding to Eddie. Except this is Tamra’s third wedding. This one will totally stick!  The ladies in the limo discuss Cheeseburger-gate and Slade. Lydia’s not a fan of him at all and calls him a 12-year-old tool. Eh,  Plus 12. Gretchen wears her engagement ring from Jeff and Lydia sees it immediately upon Gretchen getting into the limo. Vicki thinks it’s Gretchen’s way of upstaging Tamra. It’s a ring, Vicki. That’s it.  Heather and Alexis are at the bridal store when the limo arrives. They’re more than just cordial. They’re nearly chipper.  Plus 3 Tamra wants to plan her wedding around the dress. The men helping her try on dresses have nothing but dollar signs in their eyes.  Gretchen’s kind of stand-offish because she doesn’t want a repeat of the ladies’ night at the gym to happen in the bridal shop. She’s the only one who seems to be thinking about that.  Heather pops the cork on a bottle of  champs and Tamra comes out in the first dress. While she’s changing into the second one, Vicki tells Alexis that Gretchen wasn’t coming at first because Alexis was coming. Minus 12. Tamra stood up for Alexis, though, so Alexis plans to thank Tamra for that. She’s  so done with Gretchen. So done. Alexis follows Tamra into the dressing room so she can thank her for the invitation. Tamra says that she wanted Alexis there and so she was there. Then in an interview, Alexis delivers the best line of the night. About Gretchen: “When it comes to Gretchen and I, I just wish sometimes Gretchen would eat some of her own makeup so she could become pretty on the inside again.” After Alexis leaves, Lauri says it might be Gretchen next time and Lydia says it might be Vicki. Vicki says it won’t be her. She and Brooks went to dinner and ended everything.  His love language is quality time and Vicki can’t give him that since he’s not welcome in her home while Briana and Troy are living there.  Lauri says Briana and Michael must have an intuition kicking in and she wants to talk to Vicki at some point. And then she just launches into the information she has about Brooks.  Minus 26. He’s dating Lauri’s daughter’s friend. Where dating means probably having sex. With a 21 year old.  A 21 year old is probably having sex with Brooks.   All the bleach in the entire United States isn’t enough to purge the image of Brooks having sex with anyone from my brain. But a 21 year old??  Minus 75. I have a major case of the heebie jeebies right now. And the dry heaves. Lauri doesn’t have any concrete evidence about the probably sex. She just knows he met the girl at a poker party and he was throwing Benjamins at her. Probably Vicki’s Benjamins .  Minus 14. Vicki’s kind of devastated because she still has feelings for Brooks. (Why? He’s a disgusting leech! Who probably had sex with someone his daughter’s age!) The girl Brooks has probably had sex with has made porn videos before. And Lydia says that talking about this feels extra dirty because they’re in a room surrounded by white wedding gowns. Gretchen’s come to life now that Vicki’s been knocked down a peg and Alexis has left. When Tamra comes out in The Dress, they all start to cry a little. Heather makes a toast.  Tamra says the dress costs $10,000. Yes, 4 zeroes. This one better be worth it. Tamra wants to take a picture of herself and the ladies, and Vicki has to walk away and cry for a minute. She can’t get herself together.  Lydia and Lauri go to console her and Lauri says she feels like she’s always the messenger. Well, Lauri, that’s because so far you are.  Minus 8 . After shopping, the ladies head to dinner. Tamra finds out that Brooks broke up with Vicki. Then Lauri fills her in on the probably sex Brooks probably had with an under 21 year old girl.  Heather asks if Vicki really needed to know the information. Lauri would want to know. Lydia says she would want to know. Heather wouldn’t want to know. Vicki comes back to the table and they order tequila.  Plus 9. After a visit from the chefs, Heather tells the ladies about her possible recurring guest-starring role on  Malibu Country and Lydia says she’s gone from “Fancy Pants” to “Fancy Outfit.”  Gretchen told Tamra that she had been offered a spot on  Malibu Country and Heather says that the casting director denied ever offering Gretchen anything of the sort. Oops? Tamra’s pissed about catching Gretchen in this lie. Heather says there’s a chance she’s colossally confused, but Vicki calls her a liar about half a dozen times.  Lydia feels squicky talking about Gretchen when Gretchen isn’t there and Lauri feels like this is a giant case of pot meeting kettle for Vicki given all the lies she’s told. Tamra’s also upset that she opened up to Gretchen about her life and now Gretchen’s lying to her. Bad form, Gretchen. Bad form. EPISODE TOTAL: -87  SEASON TOTAL: -190

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Tamra Barney and Eddie Judge: Married!

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Tamra Barney is a married woman! The Real Housewives of Orange County star wed Eddie Judge Saturday after more than three years as a couple. “I am so lucky to be sharing my life with Eddie,” the reality star said. “I have never been so in love! This is the beginning of the best part of my life.” The day was a memorable one for Barney, 45, and Judge, 40. The couple got hitched at St. Regis Monarch Beach in California, and it was all filmed for her upcoming Bravo spinoff show, Tamra’s OC Wedding . She wore custom-made dresses during the day and evening. The pair, who got engaged in February, celebrated a joint bachelor and bachelorette party in Las Vegas May 18 … on top of that whole Mexico fiasco . Tamra Barney is thrilled to share her wedding with her fans. “They watched every transition I’ve made and am happy to sharing our wedding, too,” she said. “I couldn’t be happier and am thankful to have found Eddie!” It’s the third marriage for the mother of four. Congrats!!

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: What Happens In Mexico…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

When the women of  The Real Housewives of Orange County party, they  party . Or at least Vicki does. And she drags Tamra and Lydia along on her whoop-it-up spree. Gretchen doesn’t like it. Things are heating up with the women south of the border! Let’s recap it now with our  THG +/- review! Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia finally arrive at Andale’s. Now maybe Vicki will shut up about whooping it up at Andale’s. Maybe. (Probably not.) Gretchen and Heather are in the back of the limo waiting for the end of the bathroom trip of eternity. Gretchen starts telling Heather the tales Laurie told her about Vicki and Heather doesn’t want to hear it.  Plus 2 . They get out of the limo and into a cab to go back to the resort. Tamra hails her own cab by dancing on top of one and declaring that there’s no better woman to party with than Vicki Gunvalson.   In the limo, Lydia and Tamra tell Vicki they’re blaming her for ditching Heather and Gretchen. Then there’s talk of bunions.  Minus 8 . The three of them go in to Heather’s room to apologize but Heather’s not having it. Neither is Gretchen. Tamra can’t stop laughing which just makes Gretchen and Heather more angry. She asks Tamra how Tamra could just run off like that and Tamra points at Vicki. Buzz kill.  Minus 20.  But they kind of deserved it for ditching the girls.  Back in Tamra’s room, Vicki laughs that her “plan” worked! And then she pees Tamra’s bed.  Minus 50. May clearer heads–and cleaner sheets–prevail the next day.  The ladies meet in the lobby and plan to go see the town. Gretchen thanks Vicki for showing up at their rendezvous and Vicki keeps walking right out the door and straight to the limo.  Minus 12 . Heather and Lydia decide to skip the penis straws in their mimosas. Lydia asks if they’re all good about last night. Heather says she’s not happy and was embarrassed and everything felt really sad. But she’s trying to move on in the spirit of having a good weekend.  Plus 10 . After watching a baby bull fight a matador, the women have regrouped themselves in the limo. Lydia, Vicki, and Tamra on one end and Heather and Gretchen on another. The trio recounts their fun from the following night and Heather chimes in that they didn’t get that fun, so that’s a bummer for them.  There’s cat fighting in the limo and Lydia calls Gretchen “negative.” With the desire for everything to be so positive all the time are we sure Lydia doesn’t take hits of her mom’s bong when Grandma’s not looking?  Gretchen starts to cry and Tamra tries to console her. Then Vicki gets angry.  Minus 6. Once they’re back at the resort, Vicki and Lydia head down to sit by the pool. Tamra and Heather join them and Gretchen follows shortly after bearing gifts.  Plus 10 . Vicki mocks the fact that there are Gretchen Christine products in their goodie bags. When tension rises between Gretchen and Vicki, Tamra tries to break it by telling them all about Vicki peeing her bed. “I leaked. I’m gonna own it,” says Vicki. And then she says that we’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Ummmm…moving on. Tamra asks Gretchen to go take a walk with her and Vicki starts in on how Gretchen is the reason she and Tamra aren’t close friends anymore. Every word out of Vicki’s mouth drips with disdain for Gretchen. She’s condescending and rude and Gretchen does an excellent job of keeping her cool.  Plus 5 to Gretchen for that.  Minus 20 to Vicki for being a raging lunatic. Tamra tells Gretchen about Vicki’s “my plan worked” comment and then the camera flashes back to Vicki and Lydia talking. Vicki thinks that Gretchen should look to her as a mentor. HAHAHAHHAHAHA.  Minus 10 . Back on the beach, Gretchen asks Tamra why she pushes people away when they get close to her. Tamra starts to cry and tells Gretchen about her newfound revelation that feelings are okay.  Tamra gravitates to people like Tamra because they don’t “get deep.” They don’t make her confront herself. Team Gretchen. Back in OC, Alexis and Jim go to dinner. She’s not jealous of the other women who are whooping it up in Mexico, but she’s totally jealous.  Minus 4 Lydia called her and doesn’t know what to do about the strippers who are coming to play later. Jim shuts down conversation about the women and asks to be left out of it. So Alexis says she wants to have another baby. Jim says they can talk about it again in 5 years. She counters with 6 months. Then she says the dumbest thing she’s said all season: “You may be faster, but I will outrun you. You know what that means?”    No, Alexis, just like Jim, NONE OF US know what that means.  Minus 10.  And  Minus 10 more for making us think about you and Jim doing the dirty. Gretchen has decked out their resort suite for Tamra’s night. She’s also vowed to have fun with Vicki for Tamra’s sake. After a quick cocktail, Tamra opens a present and then dinner is served.  Strangest revelation of the night is that Lydia shops at Victoria’s Secret.  Heather shops at…I’m not sure where she shops. But she bought Tamra a diamond-studded whip. And a pregnancy test. And hand sanitizer. And latex gloves.  Plus 12. And Vicki buys her the largest dildo ever. Once dinner winds down a bit, Lydia excuses herself to go and call Doug. She doesn’t want to see the strippers Gretchen has hired to tantalize Tamra. Except they don’t tantalize so much as nearly violate her. It’s not exactly clear if Gretchen hired strippers or prostitutes. But hey, fun was had by all, I guess. Plus 5. Just for funsies, here’s Heather’s face while the Magic Mikes were doing their, uh, Tamra, Gretchen, and Vicki. Safety first! Lydia joins the girls for breakfast the next morning and Tamra doesn’t quite understand why she could dance on a bar but not stay for the strippers. Me either, Tamra. Oh well. Until next time… EPISODE TOTAL: -106 SEASON TOTAL: -32

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Bachelorette

Posted on June 3, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Tonight on  The Real Housewives of Orange County , Gretchen plans a bachelorette party for Tamra. Even though Tamra and Eddie haven’t set a date and have no plans to get married other than a ring? Whatever. It’s a vacation and there’s booze. That means there’s bound to be some fun. We’re recapping it all with our  THG +/- review! After Tamra’s tearful conversation with her mom last week, she’s ready to turn over a new, less-angry leaf. Lydia comes over for lemonade and a snack. She also hopes to broker peace between Tamra and Alexis.  Lydia calls herself the “friendship whisperer” and says that this is all part of her master plan. Master plan for what, Lydia?? Maybe you should hit up your mom’s house and bring along a bit of her stash for this.  Minus 8 .   Gretchen and Heather get together to plan Tamra’s bachelorette party. They’re designing a custom swimsuit for Tamra for the trip, but they’re having trouble agreeing. On anything.  Minus 4 . Heather wants an art gallery and a spay day and shopping. Gretchen wants strippers. Unclutch your pearls, Heather. Let Gretchen win this one.  Vicki and Alexis meet for drinks and Vicki’s nervous about going because of Tamra and Gretchen’s friendship. Alexis is a little shocked about Tamra’s phone call inviting her to lunch. She’s optimistic that Tamra can’t hang on to the anger forever.  Vicki, enough with “the bracelet thing.” Enough. Jealousy doesn’t look good on you.  Minus 12 . Lydia and Alexis meet up with Tamra for lunch. Tamra’s a glass of wine in before they get there, in hopes of calming her nerves. There’s an awkward hug. And then an awkward silence. And then an awkward Lydia. Tamra says she wants to break the cycle of hurting for Alexis. She wants to take some time to get to know Alexis without the outside influence of the other ladies first.  Way to go, Tamra!  Plus 50 . Gretchen goes to meet Lauri and her horse. Slade and Lauri used to “date.” And by date we mean sleep together.  Talk turns to Vicki and Gretchen says Vicki’s one of the most hypocritical people she’s ever met in her life. Lauri heard about all of that. And then some.  Apparently Vicki cheated on Don. A lot. With men. And women. And apparently she has a thing for men with bad teeth. Gretchen’s honest when she tells Lauri she’s going to have a hard time keeping all of these secrets. Once they get to Mexico and the alcohol starts to flow? No way those bodies are staying buried. Heather’s packing for Mexico and tells Terry there will be a stripper. She’s never seen a stripper. Terry doesn’t count. I’m so glad they’re back!  Plus 8 . Lydia’s never been on a bachelorette trip and doesn’t know how many pairs of shoes she needs to bring for two nights. She’s also never seen a stripper and Doug’s not nearly as nice about the stripper thing as Terry was, which is surprising considering he was so okay with Grandma’s pot smoking ways. Gretchen has an entire suitcase’ worth of bachelorette party paraphernalia and that’s not even including the penis stuff.  Plus 20. It’s B-day!! The ladies start to arrive at the airport to head to Mexico and Vicki’s got a sash for Tamra. Because apparently she doesn’t think Gretchen would’ve through of that.  Quote of the night goes to Vicki: “This is a bachelorette party. She can drink out of more than one penis cup.”  Plus 10 . Telling Tamra that they’re going to Mexico was slightly underwhelming. I’m not sure they got the reaction from her that they’d hoped to get. Vicki’s about to lose points for overuse of the word “whoop.” And I’m not even going to mention that move with the lollipop. At least not with words. The girls get changed and head to dinner. Vicki wants to party the whole time they’re in Mexico. Tamra wants to spend the first night sleeping. She’s too old to drink two nights in a row.  Lydia asks if they can have chips and salsa. This is not that kind of restaurant.  Minus 10 Gretchen looks a bit perturbed. Which makes Heather perturbed.  Vicki wants to go to Andale’s. Heather wants to go to bed. So does Tamra. Lydia wants everyone to eat some shrimp!  Vicki pulls Lydia and Tamra off on a walking tour of Puerto Vallarta leaving Heather and Gretchen on their own. Bad form, Vicki. Bad form.  Minus 5 . Heather and Gretchen have been waiting in the limo for 20 minutes thinking that Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia are still in the restroom. But no. They’re off buying light-up hairbows.  Vicki’s evil plan to steal Tamra away from Gretchen seems to be working. Hold up. Best quote of the night goes to Gretchen. “I want to unleash a wrath of ‘furry’ on this girl.” I mean, when in Mexico, right?? EPISODE TOTAL: +49  SEASON TOTAL: +74

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Bachelorette

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Tamra Barney Bikini Pictures

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I don’t watch “ The Real Housewives Of Orange County ” but it turns out this Tamra Barney chick is 44 years old and has four children which I don’t believe for a second. Unless they are all adopted, there is no way she looks that good in a bikini. Anyway, here she is attending her bachelorette party at the Palazzo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Now I don’t know what guy would want to marry a woman with 4 kids, even if she is loaded. I’m guessing she has a hot daughter!

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Meet The New Girl

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

There’s a new housewife in town on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Lydia McLaughlin joins the crew. Will the truce between Vicki and Tamra hold? How will Lydia fit in with the rest of the women? We’re about to find out!. Alexis is the first housewife invited over to Vicki’s house to meet Baby Troy. She brings lunch.  Plus 10 . That’s how it works. A new baby is born and people should take food. That baby is so cute. He’s like a grumpy little old man!  Plus 15 for cuteness! Everything is going great and then Alexis brings up Brooks. Briana gets really quiet and gives a telling “huh.” Vicki says she can’t explain what’s going on with Brooks to anyone because even she doesn’t know what’s going on. But it seems that she’s not saying anything because Briana’s at the table.  Briana doesn’t approve of Brooks. Alexis says Vicki has to make the decision for herself.  Here’s my vote: Vicki, kick him and his gross sayings to the curb. Heather goes to visit Terry at the office and she’s thinking of trying to get their house in a magazine. Terry starts looking at the magazine on his phone and not paying attention to Heather. Minus 12,  Terry. Phone down, man. Gretchen and Tamra are shopping for baby Troy and Briana. Tamra makes Gretchen wear a baby carrier and then she races strollers. It’s hilarious.  Plus 8 .  Briana goes to visit Vicki at the office to get out of the house. Briana says she doesn’t want to hold Vicki back from dating by being there, but Vicki says she puts her daughter first.  Then Vicki goes on to say that Briana was too hard on Brooks and Briana disagrees. She says they talk all day every day while Vicki’s telling everyone that she and Brooks are broken up.  Briana says that if Vicki wants to have Brooks over to the house then she and Ryan and the baby will leave. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Vicki’s the master of conflict avoidance.  Minus 15 . Heather’s meeting with new housewife Lydia McLaughlin, owner of Beverly Hills Lifestyle Magazine. Lydia’s a hugger. Heather’s not. It’s awkward.  Plus 8. Heather drops the bomb on Lydia that they want to do the magazine, but they want to be on the cover. Lydia says that’s not her call.  They chit-chat about people they have in common. Lydia’s mom sees Terry for her plastic surgery. They have a mutual friend named Casey. And Lydia used to be one of Alexis’ neighbors. Dun dun dun!! Lydia is “very authentic” and doesn’t like to pretend that she’s anything that she’s not. So she lives in Orange County.  Tamra is breaking ground on her fitness studio. She and Eddie have named it CUT Fitness. Vicki’s coming by to see the space and Eddie warns Tamra not to get into a fight. Vicki drives to see Tamra. Across the street.  Minus 15 .  Tamra called it that Vicki would want to give her business advice and almost instantly, Vicki starts asking about insurance and budget and then pans Tamra for going in on the studio with Eddie instead of doing it totally on her own. Lydie, the new housewife, has been married for 7 years and has two sons, Stirling and Maverick. Their goal as parents is to keep the boys grounded.  He has to do pull-ups before they can go on their date.  Minus 25.  Lydia says they live within their means as they get into an Aston Martin to drive to the harbor to get on their yacht to go to dinner.  She drinks lemon drop martinis. A personal favorite of mine.  Plus 10 . Tamra and Vicki decide to go to dinner. It’s awkward. There’s lots of staring and “ummmm” and “soooo.”  Vicki says “you’re hurt, but I’m really hurt.” Way to avoid any responsibility at all, Vic.  Minus 5 . Tamra thinks Vicki’s blaming her for everyone hating Brooks so that she won’t have to blame Briana. Ding ding ding!! We have a winner! Tamra tells Vicki to be happy and they toast to not saying mean things to each other.  At Casa Dubrow, the family’s getting ready to go to Temple. Heather tells Terry it’s time for him to start getting up to work out in the morning because he’s sacrificing family time for fitness.  He plans to atone for his bad jokes and non-diaper changing ways.  Plus 8 At Temple, Colette turns into the Honey Badger. She don’t give a… If Heather made it to kid #4 before getting a willful one, she got lucky.  Tamra’s four weeks away from the gym’s opening and she’s planning a dinner party for the girls. She wants them to see the space before it’s finished. In a phone call, Vicki tells Tamra she wants to invite Alexis to the party. That goes about as well as expected. Tamra’s obviously not a fan of the idea, but she tells Vicki that if she’s sure she wants Alexis to be her plus one, then go for it.  Oh, Vicki. Way to derail the friendship train. EPISODE TOTAL: -13 SEASON TOTAL: +101

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Meet The New Girl

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