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Artie Lange: Back In Jail, Reportedly Near Death

The tragic saga of Artie Lange took another sad turn today when the troubled comic was arrested after violating his probation by failing a court-ordered drug test. According to TMZ, Lange tested positive for cocaine and morphine and was taken into custody following a court appearance in Essex County, New Jersey on Wednesday afternoon. Lange’s long battle with substance abuse has been well documented, and sadly, his brushes with the law have become more frequent in recent years. In 2017, Lange pled guilty to heroin possession , and it seems he’s been caught in a downward spiral ever since. In December of 2018, Lange’s fans and loved ones experienced a glimmer of hope when the 50-year-old announced that he had completed in-patient rehab and entered a long-term outpatient treatment program. The comic even vowed to use his talents to help others by doing one show a month for which all proceeds would go to toward helping a fellow addict attend rehab. “Guys I will tweet about this once. Today in court they drug tested me,” a hopeful Lange tweeted on December 14. “For the last decade or more they’d have found both Heroin and Cocaine.  With the help of in my eyes a miracle legal medication called Suboxen I tested negative for Heroin. I haven’t used Heroin in 41 days…” Unfortunately, that optimism proved to be short-lived. Lange’s reps confirmed last night that the comic has been forced to cancel his upcoming shows following a bad day in court. “Excuse any show advertisements.. starting today, Artie will be undergoing a long term treatment program, he loves and respects his fans,” read a tweet from Lange’s account. “Updates coming soon.. and it’s time – TeamLange” Today, the account tweeted that Lange is being held without bail, but adds that that’s not necessarily a bad thing: “The comments made by Arties lawyer have been taken out of context.. Artie was not arrested and sent to jail,” the tweet read. “They are holding him a few days to sober up before transferring him to a long term treatment facility, Artie needs us to be with him, not against him- TeamLange” As many have pointed out, the claim that Lange has not been sent to jail is somewhat meaningless, as he’s sure to be sent to a holding center once he’s fully detoxed. Back in June of 2018, Lange predicted that drug court and four years of probation may prove to be too much for him: “The judge was very fair! But 4 yrs probation is a long time. I am gonna try my best,” Lange tweeted. “If I end up in jail for yrs  let my life be a lesson to you kids battling Heroin. I had everything! And more. I traded it for powder. Don’t make that mistake. Ur better than that.  & I love u!!” We join millions of fans in wishing Artie all the best in his recovery.

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Artie Lange: Back In Jail, Reportedly Near Death

In White Folks News: Comedian Artie Lange’s Nose Completely Collapses After “Decades Of Drug Abuse” [Photos]

Source: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com / WENN Comedian Shocks Social Media With Deformed Schnoz A veteran comedian named Artie Lange is shocking social media with his recent selfies. The posts feature a deformed version of his nose and he blames “decades” of doing drugs for the new look. From 1995 to 1997, Lange was a regular cast member of Mad TV. Starting in 1999, he played Norm Macdonald’s half-brother on the ABC comedy Norm  and is also known for his tenures on The Howard Stern Show . Folks who know the comedian recognize his face in the above photo. Here’s how he looks now: This is it but I believe her nose had a septum and had not been hideously deformed due to over 3 decades of drug abuse. pic.twitter.com/U2LmcnpI4B — Artie Lange (@artiequitter) December 25, 2018 According to  nj.com , “Lange has had to have surgery on his nose due to years of snorting cocaine and heroin — and one incident in which he accidentally snorted glass when trying to suck mashed OxyContin tablets — which left him with no septum and a lot of ribbing from his followers about his appearance.” Despite his struggles, he seems optimistic about rehab. “With the help of, in my eyes, a miracle legal medication called Suboxen, I tested negative for heroin. I haven’t used heroin in 41 days,” he tweeted in mid-December. He’s also still doing stand up in NYC, not hiding his face. I’m about to go on at The Fat Black Pussycat inside the Comedy Cellar empire. I’m clean guys. I swear. Will it last? I hope so. But I can’t sit inside and be what somebody ppl want me to be. I gotta take the risk. It’s the only life I know. I love u all. Peace Artie. pic.twitter.com/Me8FjcZslT — Artie Lange (@artiequitter) December 17, 2018 Drugs are bad, m’kay? Get well soon!

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In White Folks News: Comedian Artie Lange’s Nose Completely Collapses After “Decades Of Drug Abuse” [Photos]

Will Artie Lange Return to Howard Stern Show?

Recovering comedian Artie Lange said he would give anything to get his job back on the Howard Stern Show. He has not, however, asked Howard about it. Lange left the show in early 2010 after a sudden hospitalization. He later went to rehab to get his alcoholism under control, but is reportedly better now. Stern discussed Artie this morning, saying Lange’s comments “stirred up a whole bunch of conversation that I don’t even know how to begin to address.” Asked if Artie ever personally approached Howard to ask for his job back, Howard replied, “No, but I think he would if he could get a hold of me.” As for Artie’s possible return to radio with a new show , Howard said, “Of course I support it. I think it would be great. I’d like to listen to Artie.” Howard, whose show Lange was a fixture on for years, added, “I’m glad to hear he’s feeling better … I’m pulling for him. I hope he does okay.”

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Will Artie Lange Return to Howard Stern Show?

Howard Stern’s sidekick Artie Lange hospitalized after suicide attempt

Stand-up comic, published author and co-star of The Howard Stern radio show Artie Lange was quietly rushed to the hospital Sunday night . At that time, there was no further explanation and Stern remained tight-lipped about it on his show. But now, Page Six is reporting that the troubled comedian, who has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, gambling addiction and depression, tried to commit suicide by cutting himself nine times. Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange’s frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. “We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He’s a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don’t forget how great he is.” [From Page Six] Lange is a textbook example of a “Crying on the inside” comedian. Love him or hate him, this is pretty darn sad. Stabbing yourself is a desperate act, indicative of someone at the end of their rope. Anyone who listens to the show knows that Artie has been in a bad way for quite some time, but hasn’t been ready to do the work needed to stay off drugs, treat his depression and take better care of himself. At least, not for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I hope he takes some time off and focuses on his mental and physical health. Artie Lange outside the Ed Sullivan Theatre on August 24, 2009, and performing in Florida on January 16, 2009. Credit: WENN.

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Howard Stern’s sidekick Artie Lange hospitalized after suicide attempt

Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange hospitalized

A publicist for Artie Lange says the comedian and radio personality has been hospitalized. In an e-mail sent Monday to The Associated Press, publicist Hilary Hansen declined to elaborate, saying, “Artie has chosen to keep all information on this matter between him and his doctor.” The 42-year-old Lange, best known as Howard Stern’s radio sidekick, has been absent from Stern’s Sirius radio show for a month. On Monday’s show, Stern said Lange isn’t leaving the program and called him “a tremendous contributor.” Lange, who lives in Hoboken, N.J., has battled drug addiction. In September, a New Jersey judge revoked his driving privileges for seven months after he admitted he was under the influence of prescribed sleeping pills in a minor traffic accident.

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Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange hospitalized

Police: Stern sidekick Artie Lange stabbed self

Police say self-inflicted stab wounds put Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange (LAYNG’) in a New Jersey hospital. Hoboken Police Detective Mark Competello says Lange’s mother found him on the floor of his waterfront home on Saturday. Competello says the 42-year-old comedian was unconscious but breathing after stabbing himself with a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife. Lange was taken to Jersey City Medical Center. Competello says doctors cleaned nine abdominal knife wounds and operated. He says Lange has been released. A message was left for Lange’s publicist. Stern has spoken of the suicide attempt and said his thoughts are with Lange’s mother and sister. Lange’s lost driving privileges after admitting he was under the influence of sleeping pills in a minor traffic accident.

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Police: Stern sidekick Artie Lange stabbed self

Boston paper calls Artie Lange ‘Stabbie, the Poke Man’ in light of suicide attempt

We’re all for edgy comedy, pushing the boundaries and offending the masses—but we’re of the philosophy that there’s got to be some semblance of art to doing those things. (See: Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Richard Pryor). So, with that in mind, we ask what the hell were the editors of the Boston Phoenix thinking, in the wake of comedian Artie Lange’s suicide attempt, putting him on your list of 100 Unsexiest Men of the Year — aside: it’s April. Not the best time for a year-end list – and nicknaming him, “Stabbie the Poke Man” and saying things like “When Howard Stern fans told him to trim the fat, they didn’t mean to carve it out of hid abdomen with a knife.”? Were they thinking, ‘Hey, maybe some sites will pick this up and we’ll get some media attention. The media getting media attention is all the rage these days. Well, congrats, you’ve done it. We’re sure we won’t be the only ones calling you out for this . By the way, readers, if, for some reason, you don’t get the Phoenix ’s references in their Artie blurb, the comedian tried to kill himself at the beginning of the year by stabbing himself nine times with a kitchen knife. We get it. Artie is a public figure and as such, is subject to be equally praised and shit upon by the media. And no doubt, Artie’s said some horrible shit over the years about other famous people. But when a guy who’s clinically depressed – severely – and has had a long, painful battle with addictions and tries to off himself, you leave it alone. We’re not saying you need to feel sorry for Artie or that you shouldn’t feel the opposite of sorry toward him. But keep it to yourself. Famous or not— Artie’s a person with serious problems. And he’s trying to take care of them. And now, folks at the Phoenix : try to take care of yours.

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Boston paper calls Artie Lange ‘Stabbie, the Poke Man’ in light of suicide attempt

Artie Lange Hospitalized Yesterday, Few Details Released

Getty Images Artie Lange , best known for being Howard Stern 's sidekick, was hospitalized in New Jersey yesterday for unspecified reasons. He has a history of drug problems, and hasn't been on Stern's show since December. He has also canceled some of his stand-up comedy dates. Artie Lange (Getty) According to PopEater , a statement from his rep said: “I can confirm that Artie is in the hospital. Artie has chosen to keep all information on this matter between him and his doctor. There will be no further comment.” He was also busted for a DUI in 2009.

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Artie Lange Hospitalized Yesterday, Few Details Released

Artie Lange Was Hospitalized for Self-Inflicted Stab Wounds

(Getty Images) Details of funnyman Artie Lange 's weekend hospitalization have been a mystery all week, but the New York Post reported today that he was hospitalized after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt. Artie Lange (From howardstern.com) An unnamed law enforcement source told the Post that Lange's mother found him lying in a pool of his own blood when she visited his apartment Saturday morning. Lange showed evidence of six small “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges, the source said. Doctors operated on Lange and were able to save him despite his massive loss of blood. The Howard Stern sidekick has been missing from Stern's show for the past month, and on Monday, Stern addressed his absence. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is.” Lange first joined the show in 2001 after writer Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling left the show.

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Artie Lange Was Hospitalized for Self-Inflicted Stab Wounds

Artie Lange writes forward to radio personality’s book

After his 2008 memoir Too Fat to Fish became a New York Times bestseller, the division of Random House who published Artie Lange’s book promptly gave him a deal to write another. Seemed like good business. But then Lange’s depression took a turn for the worse at the beginning of the year when he — luckily — unsuccessfully tried to kill himself. It goes without saying, Lange’s second writing effort will have to wait. However, the folks at SaveBabyGorilla , a longtime Lange support blog, just brought it to our attention that Artie, though no doubt before January, had been putting pen to paper (hardcore fans know he doesn’t know how to work a computer). Turns out the comedian wrote the forward for radio personality Sid Rosenberg’s new book You’re Wrong and You’re Ugly: The Highs and Lows of a Radio Bad Boy . Anyway, here’s what Artie had to say at the start of Rosenberg’s book, which is out in stores now. I always thought Sid was hilarious. I lost contact with him over time, and then I was on The Howard Stern Show and I heard Sid Rosenberg was on Imus. I said, “That’s the Sid that I did that show with.” Of course Stern and the Imus show were at odds with one another – and I’m in Howard’s army forever. But even Howard’s producer Gary Dell’Abate says Sid’s a good guy, because they knew each other. I told him, “I love Sid. He’s funny as hell.” He sort of did what I did but on Imus. He had his issues with drugs just like me. We just had a lot in common. So I contacted Sid again, we started talking, and we became good friends. He wanted to come on with Stern after he got fired from Imus, and Howard was a little reluctant. Gary and I both worked on Howard. I told him, “Howard, this guy is a funny guy, a huge fan of yours, I’ve known him for a long time, and he’s got amazing stories about Imus and drugs.” Howard loves honesty, Gary and I were both instrumental in getting Sid on, and when he came on he was fantastic. Howard loved him. He even used him for a few things on Howard TV.

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Artie Lange writes forward to radio personality’s book