Tag Archives: from-the-future

Nicola Peltz is a Racy Billionaire of the Day

Nicola Peltz is so racy…wearing her bra and some scandalous shirt…that says strict…on some dominatrix kick…or maybe it’s reference to her dad…who manages her trust fund and doesn’t want her to become the billionaire brat she’s very capable of becoming….because it’s hard to be down to earth as a billionaire’s daughter…you’re just thrown into this world of being a brat, with a shitty attitude, entitled and garbage… But then again her dad did end up buying her career, which is hardly a career, but she was in transformers replacing megan fox, and that’s something….not much…but something that money can buy… Most importantly…she’s hot..and as a hot girl trying to navigate the world of fame…I’ll take nasty little billionaire…like Hillary Clinton, only in a much better….because she’s not a Space ALien from the future coming to blow up the world…but because she’s got a billionaire dad, so unlike all these other whores, she doesn’t need to be an actual whore…and does it at her own will and discretion…amazing… Turns out – I like billionaire women… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Nicola Peltz is a Racy Billionaire of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Nicola Peltz is a Racy Billionaire of the Day

Kelly Rohrbach Works It On The Beach

Since you dudes seemed to dig those shots of Kelly Rohrbach in GQ Mexico so much yesterday, here’s a new round of beach pictures from the future Baywatch star today. I still don’t think Kelly has what it takes to become the next Pam Anderson (and by that I mean, the giant chesticles), but I look forward to continuing to watch her try. Especially if she really follows in Pam’s footsteps and releases her own sex tape. Fingers crossed!

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Kelly Rohrbach Works It On The Beach

Ashley Tisdale’s Yoga Pose of the Day

Recently married Ashley Tisdale, the face that gives girls hope that if they manage to figure out how to be a hollywood starlet with a lot of money, they too will find love despite their possible flaws that may or may not throw off a man…or more importantly that they are insecure about… Not that any girl should really care about her face in this era, because really it’s all about how good your ass looks, what your hip to waist ratio is, and even your tits, and what angles you take of yourself on your social media. As long as you can fake it, with fake hair, make-up and all that other bullshit, all while putting out good, you’re perfect. It’s like a pretty face once mattered, maybe, but not anymore, because you don’t fuck the face, and when you do, you’re more into the strain and pain and discomfort in her eyes, and not whether she’s got a wonky fucking nose, you don’t jerk off to the face, you save that for jerking off on, after you go for the close up butthole shot, and really a face doesn’t even need to exist…as long as you’re not mutated or a freak, you’re good. I mean, I think this Yoga Post, a popular instagram trend, proves that….science… To see pics of her at the grocery store CLICK HERE

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Ashley Tisdale’s Yoga Pose of the Day

Jamie Chung Bikini in Costa Rica of the Day

I don’t know who Jamie Chung is, but she reminds me that I’ve never had sex with an asian, even though I’ve always wanted to have sex with an Asian, ever since I was since I was a kid and told Asians had sideways vaginas. Sure, I know you can buy sex with an Asian for very cheap, if you just go to the legal rub and tugs around every city in the world, because Asians are everywhere…rub and tugs that aren’t considered hookers because it’s up on some holistic shit that some insurance companies cover …I mean you don’t even have to go on that long and expensive flight to Asia for that shit anymore…Sex tourism is in your own backyard… That said, I don’t know this Jamie Chung girl, I just got lost staring at her ass in a bikini…She’s apparently a reality star turned real actor in her 30s, which in asian age, since they are aliens from the future, that’s the equivalant of 12 in body and tightness…

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Jamie Chung Bikini in Costa Rica of the Day

James Bond’s Sex Life By The Numbers − Busy Yet Conventional

With film bloggers and critics going on about how Skyfall   is a James Bond movie that depicts 007 as a human being instead of a cartoon character, I want to draw attention to a smart infographic posted by TinyMaster on Visual.ly   that compiles some interesting data about where — and how many times — James Bond has hooked up over the 50 years he’s been on the big screen. TinyMaster is the handle of Emma Price , who has designed what she calls a “Nymphographic” that breaks down the settings of Bond’s “implied,” as she puts it, sex scenes by movie and, at the end, posts a running tally of each type of encounter.  (She’s left a blank for Skyfall which, presumably, she’ll be filling in soon since she’s UK-based.) The fun part is that Bond has gotten busy on a space shuttle, a ferris wheel and an iceberg-shaped submarine, but what I found particularly interesting is that, despite Bond’s reputation as a sexual adventurer, 37 of the 75 encounters detailed in Price’s Nymphographic (see below) took place in a bed, two happened on the floor, two unfolded in cars and one happened on a couch.  That sounds like a typical teenager’s sex life — over the course of a handful of months, by the way, not 50 years. Maybe James does need to get his mojo back. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow TinyMaster on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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James Bond’s Sex Life By The Numbers − Busy Yet Conventional

James Bond’s Sex Life By The Numbers − Busy Yet Conventional

With film bloggers and critics going on about how Skyfall   is a James Bond movie that depicts 007 as a human being instead of a cartoon character, I want to draw attention to a smart infographic posted by TinyMaster on Visual.ly   that compiles some interesting data about where — and how many times — James Bond has hooked up over the 50 years he’s been on the big screen. TinyMaster is the handle of Emma Price , who has designed what she calls a “Nymphographic” that breaks down the settings of Bond’s “implied,” as she puts it, sex scenes by movie and, at the end, posts a running tally of each type of encounter.  (She’s left a blank for Skyfall which, presumably, she’ll be filling in soon since she’s UK-based.) The fun part is that Bond has gotten busy on a space shuttle, a ferris wheel and an iceberg-shaped submarine, but what I found particularly interesting is that, despite Bond’s reputation as a sexual adventurer, 37 of the 75 encounters detailed in Price’s Nymphographic (see below) took place in a bed, two happened on the floor, two unfolded in cars and one happened on a couch.  That sounds like a typical teenager’s sex life — over the course of a handful of months, by the way, not 50 years. Maybe James does need to get his mojo back. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow TinyMaster on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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James Bond’s Sex Life By The Numbers − Busy Yet Conventional

President Camacho Says Politics Is A ‘Pimp-Ho Game’

In what was the shortest press op of my journalistic career,  Terry Crews portrayed Idiocracy President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho in a Funny or Die conference call that, like most political media events, was about nothing, because Idiocracy creator Mike Judge, who was also supposed to be present, did not make it.   After declaring that he was the “motherfuckin’ president of the motherfuckin’ United States” and had “shit to do,”  Crews/Camacho explained that he had traveled to the present after ripping a hole in the space-time continuum during a cage match with the “Grand Poobah of Europe.” In other words, “some Einstein shit. Crews/Camacho explained that “I see a whole lot of stuff that I don’t like.” Among the things that bothered him: All of the political candidates, he declared, “is bullshit.”  According to “Camacho’s world, politics is a pimp-ho game” and “Voters ain’t nothing but ho’s.”  In other words, “If you tell people what they really need to hear, they ain’t gonna vote for you. You got to smooth talk these voters.” Crews/Camacho also noted that he had come to the present to “save white people” because “white flight had reached new levels” in the future. “White people it’s okay to come back out,” he said. The press conference was over after three questions, the cleverest one asked by a press-conference participant who asked Camacho to reveal who wins Tuesday’s presidential election (given that Camacho is from the future). “I understand your Jedi Mind Tricks, motherfucker,” replied the pretend president, who refused to answer the question on the grounds that it could affect the future, and “I might not get elected.” If you didn’t get enough, Camacho is also doing a live Q&A via Funny or Die’s Twitter account tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. Pacific Time. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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President Camacho Says Politics Is A ‘Pimp-Ho Game’

Miley Cyrus is a See Through Sea Punk from the Future of the Day

Sea punk is some weirdness I’ve accidentally walked into at bars that are like goth, hippie, hipster weirdos with street punk hairstyles, outfits from the future, men who look like women and women who look like men, that I guess has trickled down into Miley’s hollywood, candy coated world, and that she’s channeled in her own style that everyone is falling in love with, and that I only care about cuz it involves legs, shorts tights, see through shirts and a fit young skinny body I want to K-Fed…. She’s amazing…

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Miley Cyrus is a See Through Sea Punk from the Future of the Day

New Looper Trailer — To Watch, Or Not To Watch?

The existential crisis inherent to writer-director Rian Johnson’s ( Brick , Brothers Bloom ) upcoming sci-fi time travel flick Looper is, itself, quite a pickle: Mob hitman Joseph Gordon-Levitt finds his latest target, sent back in time from the future for execution, is… himself. (Well, in older, balder Bruce Willis form.) But how much more than that do you want to know about Looper ? If Johnson himself is advocating going in fresh, should we even watch these trailers? The matter is a personal one, as many a film has taught us. (Looking at you, Prometheus .) Those already committed to buying a Looper ticket come September 28 could forgo the latest international trailer, if the words “Rian Johnson,” “Joseph Gordon-Levitt,” “Bruce Willis,” and “time-travel” are enough to pique the curiosity. (I mean, they should be. Obviously .) If you know you want to watch the film, is it just tempting fate to peek at the roll-out of marketing clips and trailers in the months leading up to release? Can you even resist? On the other hand, trailers like this one, which reveals a lot more information, not to mention new looks at supporting characters and Gordon-Levitt’s prosthetic-nosed Willis impersonation, might be key to convincing those on the fence to put Looper on their must-watch list. And so Johnson, himself a savvy fellow of the world and denizen of the internet who knows how these things go, has Tweeted his own advice to prospective Looper -watchers: “If you’re already set on seeing Looper , I’d avoid any trailers from here on out. They don’t ruin the movie, but they tip a few little things that are fun to discover in the context of the movie.” So here we are. To watch, or not to watch? Tempt fate (or seize it like Gordon-Levitt and his Willisnose do!) below. Looper is in theaters September 28.

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New Looper Trailer — To Watch, Or Not To Watch?

Adrienne Bailon’s Out Of This World Swimsuit

I feel like I should know who the hell this Adrienne Bailon chick is, I think she had something to do with the Kardashian’s for some reason, but I’m a busy man and can’t keep track of every half decent hottie who walks around in a weird looking bathing suit. Is she from the future? She kinda looks like one of the bad guys from Superman II , you know, the ones that got stuck in a pane of glass somehow and were sent into outer space. Man, that was an awful movie.