Tag Archives: probably-doesn

Slow-Motion For Me: Brother Nature Hilariously Holds A Sloth For The First Time, Dirty Dancing Ensues [Video]

Image via Mark Newman/Getty Kelvin Peña Holds Sloth For The First Time Some of you may be familiar with “Brother Nature” of Twitter fame. He goes by the handle @ColdGameKelv, but his mama calls him Kelvin Peña. She probably doesn’t say his last name when she calls him, but that’s besides the point. Kelvin has a special kind of love for wildlife and he interacts with animals in a way that we’ve never seen represented before. Take, for example, his latest Instagram post. Yesterday, Kelvin held a sloth for the very first time and far as we can tell, it was love at first sight. If you think this is good, you don’t know the half. Flip the page to see more of Kelv’s hilarious, heartfelt hijinks.

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Slow-Motion For Me: Brother Nature Hilariously Holds A Sloth For The First Time, Dirty Dancing Ensues [Video]

Sarah Hyland is Friend Straddling Vampire of the Day

Sarah Hyland is an elf from TV, which means she’s a pretty famous and well paid elf….and here she is straddling her friend because that’s what girls do when the cameras turn on….remember GIRLS GONE WILD? That’s all the proof you need to understand the woman experience….I think that’s where CAITLIN JENNER did her research when she decided to go METHOD and play a woman in life…. She’s also demonstrating her make-up and beauty tips which in and of itself is funny considering she’s so weird looking. I used to be creeped out by her looking like an adult child, but not surprised that that was her selling feature because people are perverts, who like children looking adults…because they are weird….but not as weird as her face, that shit got weirder and weirder looking….and instead of hiding in her basement from the world she’s vlogging, letting you all into her world, voyeurism, because she probably doesn’t think she’s weird looking or maybe she knows it and owns it, what choice does she really have besides killing her self, and clearly it’s not that big of a deal, people still like her she still gets paid but I can still be creeped out by her. That’s my right and not just because she pretending to be a spooky vampire in the sun with her blood soaked lipstick… Here she is straddling her “best friend”…. Here she is playing a vampire… Here she is with a face mask on… Here they are fighting over rainbows… The post Sarah Hyland is Friend Straddling Vampire of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Sarah Hyland is Friend Straddling Vampire of the Day

Eva Longoria ANUS of the Day

The highlight of skimpy bikini bottoms the girls, or in this case the old washed up women are wearing, is that when they bend over, you can see the ring around their asshole, the shit stain, or darker rim thanks to not anal bleaching, that like most assholes is bigger than the girl realizes, because she probably doesn’t spend the day looking at her asshole..and never have I been asked by a woman “can you see my anus in this”…but sometimes, if you’re lucky, you can… This is the ANUS pic I was looking for yesterday. It Happened. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Eva Longoria ANUS of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Eva Longoria ANUS of the Day

Bella Thorne is Horny of the Day

Bella Thorne is a sex addict, which is directly correlated to her parents taking her money and running, like total pro florida trash…parents she probably doesn’t talk to because they stole, her life, her youth, her privacy to cultivate for their own kids, get paid so we don’t have to work..it’s a win win, unless your kid takes it to their fragile hearts and replaces your short comings with more substantial… It’s like now that she’s 18, the parents have fucked off TO spend her money, ride the laws and win – sucks…but I don’t WANT hookers – BUT ALL WOMEN ARE HOOKERS….SO I just want you Filling voids, looking good at it… The post Bella Thorne is Horny of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Bella Thorne is Horny of the Day

Robin Wright Penn Hard Nipples of the Day

Robin Wright Penn probably doesn’t like being referred to by the husband she was once married to, who she made big breasted daughter Dylan with, that was her past and like all divorcees, she’s ready for new beginnings, turning over a new leaf, being her new self…and I guess that divorced happened a while ago now…but I don’t get over things, and like to label women by the cum they’ve had inside them, and I know she’s for sure had other cum in her, maybe even more famous cum than Sean Penn’s, but he’s fucked everyone, probably the dirtiest…from Madonna to whoever the fuck else he’s fucked…he’s been in the scene a long time…so I’ll ignore her achievements and reduce her to that…because that’s why women take the man’s last name in the first place…property of….style..don’t blame me, blame tradition that I choose to follow…as a conventional human that I am. I don’t know why I am posting old lady mom tit…I guess it’s a fetish.. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Robin Wright Penn Hard Nipples of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Robin Wright Penn Hard Nipples of the Day

Shakira New Single of the Day

Shakira released a new sex tape, which is in the form of a music video for the international / Spanish market that created her…and allowed her to have American success with her breasts that are small and humble that she didn’t want you to confuse for mountains…. It’s not an actual Sex Tape but rather a Music video, but her fans are so passionate about her and find her so hot that I think more people will jerk off to this than most porns…she’s just that kind of girl…. Sure she’s a mom, and this isn’t erotic, but she’s one of those loved and celebrated…she let her be loved and celebrated….by trying to jerk off to this…that’s how you are supposed to show all girls they are love and celebrated…but it may get you arrested if you do it when they don’t know who you are and they are sitting on a park bench across from you though Via CLICK HERE The post Shakira New Single of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Shakira New Single of the Day

Paris Jackson Topless Selfie of the Day

I wonder if Paris Jackson goes through life missing her dad, or if she’s semi jealous that he didn’t molest her growing up, because she wasn’t a little boy….people get so mad, but if you as a sibling of a molested person, often times they will say that they knew it was going on and that they felt like shit about not being the one that their dad or brother chose..it’s fucked sure, but it’s psychology…. To think MJ didn’t molest those boys, and that it was all bad press, tried by the media, he just paid them off because it was bad for business not because he’s guilty is fine, maybe he didn’t but we can still ask the question when his spawn lives off the pile of money he left her…topless…armpits with armpit hair out…..because feminism… Maybe she’s just happy to get his stupid money, that she probably doesn’t really realize it because she’s always had his stupid money…and will always have his stupid money, because he was Michael Jackson…an earner…had a pile of it….you know allowing her to exist, doing things like being topless on social media…the way she should be…cuz she’s an under 25 year old girl… The post Paris Jackson Topless Selfie of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Paris Jackson Topless Selfie of the Day

Sophie Simmons Grabs Huge Tits of the Day

I guess Sophie Simmons is one of those dying for Attentiom, probably doesn’t have real friends, is neglected by her father who is too into his business and her mother who is too into her own existence as a Hollywood mom…because she hires people to take pictures of her in erotic enough settings…and there’s always something weird about a chubby trust fund girl paying photographers to take slutty pics of her…it’s even a little desperate… But I guess not as desperate as posting topless, or semi topless, slutty instagram whoring pics to the internet…in her quest to figure out her purpose and existence in the world knowing she never has to work…her dad, Gene Simmons is practically a billionaire….that makes her an heir to that… Apparently, she’s going to acting classes, she was already on TV once before being forgotten, so it’s only natural for an LA kid to value fame as something that can’t be bought, when everything else can, even though fame can be bought…and really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of the world, but their heads are so up their own asses..they don’t realize that…and I guess since her tits are the size of my head…I’ll encourage it…even though I never really cared for KISS…but I could still let KISS’s sperm’s creation KISS up on my dick in pics..I’m easy like that. I’m such a whore… The post Sophie Simmons Grabs Huge Tits of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Sophie Simmons Grabs Huge Tits of the Day

Candice Swanepoel Will Blow Your Mind

I don’t know about you guys, but it’s finally starting to warm up near me. And no, that’s not just because I found this killer new Candice Swanepoel photoshoot. Although I’m not gonna lie, it probably doesn’t hurt. In fact, I bet I could probably heat this entire basement with the pants fire I’ve got going on right now. So there you go, I think I just solved the energy crisis by finding our latest renewable energy source: Candice Swanepoel topless pictures. …So, when should I be expecting that Nobel Prize? » view all 12 photos Continue reading

The Official Gigi Hadid Guess Campaign of the Day

Gigi Hadid recently won some model of the year award that probably doesn’t matter, and that was probably paid for, because she’s a rich girl and that’s how rich girls get everything in life, including but not limited to this Guess Campaign, for a company owned by her father’s best friend, someone he calls a brother, who has been using GIGI since she was 6 for the brand…reminding us that everything is positioning, because she’s not all that hot, and that everything in marketing is bullshit selected based on social media following and who her celebrity friends are, it sells products, and less about her look….meaning the world is now all about the spokesmodel you’d see at the tradeshow booth as the model in all the marketing, and I guess when she’s half naked, when she doesn’t have to be half naked, but because she wants to be half naked since it is easier than getting her Ivy League schooling she can afford…you know since everyone wants to be famous…she looks ok. TO see her at an event CLICK HERE

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The Official Gigi Hadid Guess Campaign of the Day