Tag Archives: until-at-least

Student Gets Wisdom Teeth Pulled, Emails THIS to Professor

Over the years, the Internet has been filled with hilarious videos of people who got their wisdom teeth removed… fell into a drug-induced haze… and then said some pretty crazy $hit. Like the girl who believed she was Kylie Jenner . Or the girl who REALLY wished she had bigger boobs . But the following story is a first. It’s the first time in memory that a young woman has undergone this procedure and then reacted to it by jeopardizing her college career. Her name is Abby Jo Hamele and she attends the University of Nebraska – Lincoln. When she is NOT under the spell of hydrocodone, this 19-year old is happy and bubbly and relatively sane, as you can see in her Twitter profile photo above. But after getting her wisdom teeth yanked out and then getting all drugged up, she looked like this: She also believed that her very much alive pug is her dead dog Sammy . But that wasn’t all. Clearly a responsible student, Abby realized that she’d be unable to turn in a class paper on time as a result of her condition. Not in her proper state of mind, she nevertheless took the time to email her professor and explain the situation, giving us one of the most memorable social media messages of 2016 in the process. “I EMAILED MY PHILOSOPHY TA WHILE I WAS HIGH ON HYDROCODON I’M DEAD,” Abby wrote as an introduction and explanation for a Tweet that has gone viral. “I unfortmately got my wisdom teeth sliced outr and have not not been reacting very well to the surgeryy nor the medicatioon i were given/ so I do not thimk that I will be able to habe my paper finisherd by Tuesday at all,” opens the email. We really should just publish the entire thing right here, shouldn’t we? How else could we do it justice? Is tehere any way I would be able to send you my paper at any later date??? I wnt to do very good on this paper you know becayse i like to do well in my classes. please sir I workled very hard and thouught that I would be abel to finish it on timme but my doctor said I will most likelly not be normal again until at least Thanksginvg turkey. If you say no then that is okay but i would be sad and i would reallyyyy lik e it if you said yes. Thank you Kevin, my dude. Abby Jo Hamele (pronounced hah-mil-lee) (if you were wondering) P.S. I will answer youpr questions in class forever so theere are not any more awkard silence. and i will buy you expo markers that work (even thougjh our tuition should pay for markers that work) love you bye The teacher’s assistant actually went ahead and wrote Abby back, which is amazing. He’s clearly an astute fellow. Someone give this man a promotion! And someone give Abby a high-five and maybe also a strong drink. We’re guessing she could use it right about now.

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Student Gets Wisdom Teeth Pulled, Emails THIS to Professor

Kylie Jenner: Shut Up About My Lips!

According to Kylie Jenner, our eyes are deceiving us. By the looks of Kylie’s latest Instagram photo , her already-plump lips appear to be even plumper these days. And The Hollywood Gossip is not the only outlet to take note of this apparent fact, considering Jenner just jumped on Snapchat in order to shoot down talk that her lips are once again out of control. “Everyone thinks I keep making my lips bigger, but this is them normally,” Jenner says in a video, later explaining to viewers that she sometimes does a “little face” that may make them look larger than they are. But Kylie wasn’t finished. In follow-up messages, she showed that her luscious lips look exaggerated purely because she keeps them “puckered” for selfies. It’s very complicated for the average person to understand, but Jenner shared a “normal” pictue of herself first … and then, for comparison’s sake, uploaded an image that features her puckering up. Kylie, of course, spent many months last year claiming that her lips were completely natural. She then admitted that she actually uses lip fillers . After revealing the trick behind her signature pout, the 18-year old reality star concluded her lip-inspired snapshot story by whining as follows: “The fact that we even still talk about my lips is so crazy.” Yes, it’s definitely only us and not at all Kylie who is talking about her lips. By the way, Jenner would like you to purchase her lip kit, now with a new shade ! View Slideshow: Kylie Jenner and Her Lips: A Timeline of Untruths

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Kylie Jenner: Shut Up About My Lips!

Matt Baier to Amber Portwood: Marry Me NOW So You Can Help Pay My Child Support!

Matt Baier has a lot on his plate these days. The guy is getting married to Amber Portwood in October, but before the big day, he has some minor legal problems to take care of. And by “minor legal problems,” we mean the guy is to deadbeat dads what Charles Manson is to serial killers. Currently,  Baier is being sued for child support by five women who claim he’s the father of their seven children. In addition there’s a sixth woman who claims Baier actually has eight kids , but she has yet to file suit. Baier says it’s all nonsense, and the women are just looking to cash in because they know Amber is worth big bucks. Given that claim, you would think that the 44-year-old would be eager to get into court, expose them as liars, and clear his name. But as Radar Online reported moments ago, he’s actually had the court date pushed back two months, and he may be looking to postpone it even further. Yes, Baier was supposed to go before a judge today, but now he won’t set foot in court until at least May. The weird tactic and the fact that Matt and Amber have been coy about their wedding date recently have many believing that Baier and Portwood are planning to tie the knot before his trial. Smart move on his part, as she would be tied to his massive financial burden, but we’re hoping that with all she’s been through, Amber is capable of seeing through this sort of scheme. 

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Matt Baier to Amber Portwood: Marry Me NOW So You Can Help Pay My Child Support!

Scandal Season 3 Trailer: What Did You Do??

The secret is out. And the battle will begin on October 3rd. ABC has released the first official promo for Scandal Season 3 , which will pick up on the bombshell that exploded at the feet of Olivia Pope in May: The world is now aware of her status as the President’s mistress. What will this mean for our favorite lead Gladiator? Nothing positive, based on what Mellie and Cyrus have to say below. Take a deep breath… and watch now! Scandal Season 3 Teaser

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Scandal Season 3 Trailer: What Did You Do??

Amanda Bynes May Need Long-Term Hospitalization to Treat Severe Mental Illness

Amanda Bynes’ team of doctors is recommending long-term, in-patient treatment to combat the actress’ severe mental illness, a new report states. Doctors at UCLA Medical Center will submit a recommendation to the judge overseeing her mother Lynn‘s bid to gain conservatorship of her daughter. In it, they will push for long-term hospitalization of the former child star. Amanda Bynes is being treated for a serious mental health disorder and is under temporary conservatorship of her mother until at least September 30. At that date, a hearing will be held to determine her status. After months of increasingly erratic behavior, Amanda was involuntarily hospitalized after setting fire to a stranger’s driveway in Thousand Oaks, Calif. Lynn had Amanda moved from a county facility in Ventura County to the renowned psychiatric unit at UCLA after being granted temporary conservatorship. Doctors have “been observing Amanda, and there has been some improvement,” but her diagnosis is complex, and medication has yet to rectify the issue. Treating such severe mental illness is, in many ways, uncharted territory, and is extremely difficult at the absolute least. If nothing else, it takes time. “She has her good days and bad days, and the goal is obviously to get her therapeutic and stable before being released,” a source says of the actress. Therefore, her treatment team, along with her mother “believes Amanda would benefit from prolonged treatment at UCLA, for at least the rest of the year.” Even though Amanda hasn’t been formally diagnosed with schizophrenia, “she is being treated for it. There is such a negative stigma with schizophrenia.” “Given time and the correct treatment and medicine, Amanda could and should absolutely be able to live with it and be a productive member of society.” “In fact, she wouldn’t likely suffer symptoms of it if she stays on her medication.” Here’s hoping, whatever decision is reached, that she continues to improve and finds her footing. She’s only 27 and has a bright future ahead of her.

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Amanda Bynes May Need Long-Term Hospitalization to Treat Severe Mental Illness

Justin Bieber Spotted Smoking Up, Riding Segway, Causing All Kinds of Problems

We have an update on Justin Bieber and his run-in with police on Sunday. And it doesn’t pain the artist in a very positive light. As previously reported, cops responded to multiple calls from neighbors that Bieber was speeding around and endangering children on the street, with former NFL star Keyshawn Johnson actually pulling up to Justin’s residence to confront him over this behavior Now, according to TMZ insiders, we’ve learned that Bieber’s actions around his gated community go far beyond one reckless driving incident. Over just the past few days alone, they allegedly include: Reaching dangerously high speed in his Ferrari and motorcycle. Nearly hitting a pedestrian when pulling out of his driveway Sunday. Loud noises emanating from parties that ran until at least 3 a.m., with police called regarding noise reports on two occasions. Riding on a Segway with a friend, both of whom were clearly smoking marijuana. Neighbors also take major issue with cars parked on the street all night and with Justin running a business from his house, which goes against homeowners association rules. All of these complaints come on the heels of Bieber being booed at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards, an experience that led to Justin saying he needed to take some time . But perhaps we misunderstood just what the superstar would be doing with that time.

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Justin Bieber Spotted Smoking Up, Riding Segway, Causing All Kinds of Problems

Man Dressed as Zebra Tries to Escape Japan Zoo in Earthquake Preparedness Drill

The headline above and video below speak for themselves. A guy dressed as a zebra attempted to flee a Japanese zoo in an earthquake preparedness drill designed to train employees for such a situation. Good times. Japan Zoo Escape Drill Taking full precautions so that no animals go missing in an earthquake, Tokyo’s Tama Zoo came up with an elaborate (and unintentionally funny drill). Similating a realistic sense of fear and emergency (and hilariousness) the zoo employed a human to dress in a zebra suit and terrorize the other workers. Well, as much as a dude running around in a zebra suit can terrorize anything. The man-zebra put forth a good effort, delivering a nice head-butt to one of the workers, but he was fake tranquilized in the end. Mission accomplished! No word on whether a zebra was chosen due to its prisoner-like appearance.

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Man Dressed as Zebra Tries to Escape Japan Zoo in Earthquake Preparedness Drill

USPS Cuts Saturdays; Weekend Service to End August 1

The USPS will end first-class mail service this summer after 150 years in a cost-saving maneuver. The move to cut Saturdays will be announced today. The switch from six days a week to five only affects first-class mail; packages, mail-order medicines, priority and express mail will still get delivered. Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) says the move will save the struggling US Postal Service, which lost $16 billion last year alone, about $2 billion a year. The Postal Service has lost $41 billion over the past six years as more and more Americans turned to private shippers, email, and online banking. To save money, the Postal Service also slashed hours of service at about half the nation’s 26,000 post offices and trimmed its workforce by 35 percent. But it wasn’t enough. “Look, they’re in survival mode,” Coburn said, calling the move inevitable. “They’re losing $25 million dollars a day. A day. They have to do something.” As per 1984 law, Congress must authorize the USPS to make any cut in service, but the move is believed to have strong bipartisan support (for once). Coburn said the public will approve and benefit, and that there’s a consensus among political leaders as well that this is a change that must happen: “This change has bipartisan support. President Obama has repeatedly called for moving to five-day delivery of mail, most recently in his FY 2013 budget.” What do you think of the USPS cutting Saturday service?

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USPS Cuts Saturdays; Weekend Service to End August 1

USPS Cuts Saturdays; Weekend Service to End August 1

The USPS will end first-class mail service this summer after 150 years in a cost-saving maneuver. The move to cut Saturdays will be announced today. The switch from six days a week to five only affects first-class mail; packages, mail-order medicines, priority and express mail will still get delivered. Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) says the move will save the struggling US Postal Service, which lost $16 billion last year alone, about $2 billion a year. The Postal Service has lost $41 billion over the past six years as more and more Americans turned to private shippers, email, and online banking. To save money, the Postal Service also slashed hours of service at about half the nation’s 26,000 post offices and trimmed its workforce by 35 percent. But it wasn’t enough. “Look, they’re in survival mode,” Coburn said, calling the move inevitable. “They’re losing $25 million dollars a day. A day. They have to do something.” As per 1984 law, Congress must authorize the USPS to make any cut in service, but the move is believed to have strong bipartisan support (for once). Coburn said the public will approve and benefit, and that there’s a consensus among political leaders as well that this is a change that must happen: “This change has bipartisan support. President Obama has repeatedly called for moving to five-day delivery of mail, most recently in his FY 2013 budget.” What do you think of the USPS cutting Saturday service?

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USPS Cuts Saturdays; Weekend Service to End August 1

Kris Humphries on Kim Kardashian Pregnancy: Ain’t My Problem!

It’s his birthday , and he’ll whine if he wants to. In new court documents filed Tuesday, Kris Humphries brings up the Kim Kardashian baby in the room and wonders why his wife’s pregnancy should play any factor at all in this ex-couple’s ongoing divorce battle. Claiming his client should not be pressured to speed up the process, Marshall Waller writes : “What is really going on here is that an ‘urgency’ in the form of an apparently unplanned pregnancy, something [Humphries] had nothing to do with, is perceived by [Kim] as an opportunity to gain a litigation advantage by trying to force this court to prematurely set this matter for trial.” With Kardashian worried about her fetus due to this never-ending legal battle, Humphries’ team asks: “Why would [Kim] plan to get pregnant in the midst of divorce proceedings?” The divorce proceedings have dragged on for nearly a year-and-a-half now, yet Humphries is basically saying he doesn’t understand the rush to complete them. He also insists on present for Kim’s deposition… but his work schedule prevents this from happening until at least the middle of May.

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Kris Humphries on Kim Kardashian Pregnancy: Ain’t My Problem!