Tag Archives: masturbation

Lucy Mecklenburgh Hot Ass in a Thong Leotard of the Day

Posted on November 11, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

This Lucy Mecklenburgh has her booty pop done right…arched back, stickin’ that fat ass out, posting it to instagram cuz it will get her lots of attention likes and follows and if she’s lucky it will make the popular page…taking to a whole new realm of low level celebrity…from being on a UK show no one outside of the UK cares about and those in the UK probably don’t care about…to being a bitch on social media with lots of followers who just like her for her ass pics…something that seems to be enough these days to matter…at least when it comes to your own self involved ego…and more importantly…to my masturbation…

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Lucy Mecklenburgh Hot Ass in a Thong Leotard of the Day

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Bus Driver Accused Of Masturbating While Driving [VIDEO]

Posted on July 13, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

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People are so over the top for absolutely no reason other than they can be. A bus driver in New Jersey took the phrase ‘a…

Bus Driver Accused Of Masturbating While Driving [VIDEO]

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RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Today, we lost a legend, and not I don’t mean Margaret Thatcher, I am talking about Aneette Funicello, the masturbation to a generation of kids who didn’t have access to porn, because porn just didn’t exist, and masturbating was reserved for doing secretly while your dead relatives watched to National Geographic or to babes in their bikinis in 1960s surf movies like Annette Funicello. She was also Mousketeer, chosen by Walt Disney, which means she probably had sex with him, although at 13, she was probably too old for him…and now at 70..like Roger Ebert, she’s too dead for me. But that doesn’t take away all the loads she made happen in her prime, and that is something we celebrate. RIP motherfucker.

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RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

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Daniella Monet is Steppin’ Up to the Instagram Gates of the Day

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Daniella Monet is the supporting actress on the Nickelodeon hit Victorious….If you’re not a total fucking pervert who watches Nickelodeon, or a father of tween girls who is forced to watch Victorious, you probably don’t know who she is and you have probably not masturbated to her because anything is better than having sex with your wife…. Well, she’s 24, she’s a vegan, she’s got a very G-Rated career, but like Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez….that shit’s starting to turn south, in a good way….cuz selfies in workout cloths, like sports bras are the gateway to nudes, and nudes are the gateway to more “adult roles”….and more adult roles means threesomes in Spring Breakers….so let’s all encourage her to get to where she needs to be….fuck Nickelodeon, get naked, you big faced angel.

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Daniella Monet is Steppin’ Up to the Instagram Gates of the Day

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Katie Holmes is Lubricated in Allure of the Day

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I feel like I’ve seen these pictures of Katie Holmes before, but it may have been from a sci/fi movie, where she was climbing out of her alien pod, covered in some protective plasma gel, that all Alien forces use in their transition from their Alien form to human form…or maybe it was a porno movie after taking load from 40 dudes…either way, I feel like Tom Cruise and his masturbation needs, despite their divorce are behind the creative direction of this…you know since he is from a higher power and controls everything from his space lab… I think she looks kinda hot, even with that mom gunt.

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Katie Holmes is Lubricated in Allure of the Day

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Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

Posted on March 19, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape. I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it. Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial. I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities. It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.

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Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

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Sabine Jemeljanova For Loaded Magazine of the Day

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Sabine Jemeljanova is lovely, classy girl with a bright future ahead of her…I hear she’s in her final year of her Doctorate…and that she plans on changing the fucking world….to make it a better place…and that she’s just using this nude modeling shit….to make the masturbation fantasies of a bunch of UK old pervs who still buy magazines….a better place….to finance her education…and thus her career…for a better tomorrow…and by doctorate…I mean high school drop out who realized “shit, I have tits, and they make me money, fun, where’s the VIP room?”….cuz these Glamour models are nothing more than strippers…and that’s what I like about them…what I don’t like about them is that they don’t dive into porn and fuck on camera…cuz they think they are above it…when really…they are doing exactly the same fucking thing as pornstars….fame the easy way… Who cares, look at her tits…

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Sabine Jemeljanova For Loaded Magazine of the Day

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Selena Gomez Bra and Panty Selfie of the Day

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

In the biggest news in the history of news….that I guess is motivated by being ditched for a lingerie model….Selena Gomez has released to social media…a picture of her taking a self shot underwear pic…like she too is a lingerie model…despite her body screaming that she is anything but a lingerie model….even though people like me encourage all girls, bodies and shapes to be lingerie models….at least in my inbox and on my cell phone…because it helps me with my masturbation… That said..I like where this is going…even if it’s not as good as a sex tape…it is the right level of falling off for attention…and I mean..it’s Selena Gomez in her bra and panties…that’s a big deal in some circles…so just take it all in, I know it is hard to digest and process you fucking pervert…. I guess it’s possible that this isn’t actual her crying for attention…but a wet pre-shower Gomez leaking this pic makes for a better story….

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Selena Gomez Bra and Panty Selfie of the Day

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Miley Cyrus For Twitter of the Day

Posted on November 16, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

What the world needs now more than ever is a little hipster Miley in some short red pants with boots and a tube top showing off her little tits and stomach…..while making duck faces like a 15 year old she may or may not be genetically modified to be thanks to disney….and by the world I mean my masturbation…

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Miley Cyrus For Twitter of the Day

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Alice Goodwin Naked for Zoo of the Day

Posted on October 24, 2012 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I don’t know why I ever hated on Glamour Models…because Glamour Models are amazing. They are the vehicle for busty girls on the fence about getting topless to pretend they are international models…you know the kind of girl who would otherwise be working as a bartender cockteasing all night….instead of stripping where she belongs…cuz stripping is below her…faced with the fame of being a Glamour Model…that can’t be refused… So I get to see their tits, that I’d never otherwise see, and they are always worth looking at, as tits tend to be….they get to pretend they are important or that they matter, and it is a win win for everyone involved. Her name is Alice Goodwin and I don’t know who the fuck she is, but I can describe her tits in 10 words or less….starting with Lovely.

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Alice Goodwin Naked for Zoo of the Day

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