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The Ides of March, The Artist and Other Moviegoing Let-Downs of 2011

The key to a list of moviegoing disappointments is the element of expectation: I am prepared to say I watched more suicidally bad films in 2011 than in any other year in my life; to be merely disappointed suggests a certain relativity. For example, I found The Ides of March to be a tremendous let down, I think partly because my hopes were inflated. George Clooney’s high political tragedy is perfectly cast, and that early, loaded exchange of glances between rival campaign managers Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti goes off like a starter pistol. But The Ides of March is like that — it keeps threatening to start something interesting, right up to the point that it just… ends. I had the same issue with Good Night and Good Luck , another major disappointment and another film that played as if it were perpetually about to begin . The pleasures of Ryan Gosling’s performance as the fledgling spinmeister feel stingy — why tell us that he’s known to rock the microphone when we paid for the show? And Clooney’s Teflon governor is an empty, well-cut overcoat — perhaps the most glaring evidence of both the character and the director’s failure is that his one big scene with his golden boy star is the least exciting one in the movie. Given the improbable, stadium-rolling wave of appreciation that greeted The Artist , I expected much more than the mannered silent that Michel Hazanavicius and co. delivered. A mediocre movie with a couple of bright moments, The Artist also had too little to say about its chosen themes. Given the challenge of holding our attention across a silent film landscape, the music felt either too sparse or too sentimentally obvious, and the droopy patches felt twice as long as they needed to. The story of a silent film star left behind by the transition to sound was unconvincing when it needed to be clear and dolorous when it might have been lyrical. Similarly cranky friends have fixated on the issue of George Valentin’s (Jean Dujardin) refusal to speak on film—was it the accent? A principled stance? The fact that they were at all unsure points out a massive gap in the center of The Artist , one its title sews up too neatly. Any close follower of Werner Herzog’s career should know better than to bring expectations brewed from his last film into the next. Along with an auteurist consistency of preoccupations, Herzog shares with Woody Allen a prodigious output of wildly variable quality. The titles of this year’s Herzogian harvest — the sublime Cave of Forgotten Dreams and the slapdash Into the Abyss — seem interchangeable, but the latter felt to me like Achilles Herzog, a hot check of a documentary passed off as the real thing. Researched and assembled under extreme time constraints, Into the Abyss is an inquiry into the death penalty that gets by on artful narrative juxtapositions and moments of profound, almost invasive intimacy with its interview subjects. The reach for effect often feels more craven than considered, and the crime at the heart of the film is eventually clouded over for convenience. When a topic and a director — and a title! — of this magnitude collide, the viewer wants the Earth to shimmy; instead we had to settle for the Richter equivalent of a quick freehand sketch. I’ve watched Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy twice now and I still couldn’t give you a basic plot summary. Having felt like a failure after the first viewing, after the second I’m prepared to push the better part of the blame onto director Tomas Alfredson and his Let the Right One In editor Dino Jonsäter. It’s a film that seems designed for le Carré obsessives, which means the rest of us may have to sit through all 57 hours of the 1979 BBC production just to get the facts straight. It’s a shame, because the performances and the production design knocked me out, but of all the ways to sex up a retro-procedural, I’d put mincing it into incomprehensibility second to casting Young Jeezy as George Smiley. With The Iron Lady Meryl Streep re-stamps her all-access passport to human history, and proves once again that the only thing she can’t seem to defy are superlative clichés. There are no words left to describe the kind of work Streep does — even those who dismiss her as a mere impressionist have to admit that her Margaret Thatcher is uncanny in its near-total self-effacement. But the film built around that performance is in some sense designed to disappoint: The biopic is an inefficient delivery system for dramatic tension or even, paradoxically, the human arc of a lifetime. It’s the movie equivalent of a greatest hits package, and while I’m not crazy about the appropriation of the still-living Thatcher’s dementia as a dramatic device, for me the more broadly director Phyllida Lloyd played her hand — ruining every successful visual cue by repeating it three times, leaping from one familiar milestone to the next — the farther we move away from the potential of Streep’s performance and the uneven richness of Thatcher’s story, into the straight flush of political iconography. Follow Michelle Orange on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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The Ides of March, The Artist and Other Moviegoing Let-Downs of 2011

Elizabeth Olsen, Shailene Woodley, and Other 2011 Highlights From The Verge

For nearly three years, Movieline’s Verge feature has introduced you to the likes of Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence, Armie Hammer, Emma Stone, Chris Hemsworth and dozens of other bright young screen talents on their ways to the big time. 2011 was no exception, so wind down the year with a look back at — and a word with — a few major new players you’ll be seeing plenty of in the future. John Boyega AGE: 19 THEN: Fought off alien invaders in South London in the cult favorite Attack the Block NOW: Leading the Spike Lee/Mike Tyson/John Ridley HBO series Da Brick ON COMING TO HOLLYWOOD “McDonald’s is a big highlight for me. [… Y]ou do things differently. Seriously. I mean, I asked for a burger and they give me a tank. It’s like, ‘Wow, you guys eat!’ I really respect that. We don’t have the little thing where you can refill your drinks. We don’t have that! So yeah, it’s been fun. Seeing the history, seeing the Hollywood sign. I’ve been on Sunset. I went to the Griddle Cafe. Oh, man. I had an Oreo pancake. It was heavenly. I don’t want to go back now, just because of that pancake.” Joel Courtney AGE: 15 THEN: Made film debut in J.J. Abrams’s Super 8 NOW: Will appear as the former Twain hero in upcoming Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn ON THE SPIELBERG FACTOR : OK, I have to tell you. The first time Riley [Griffiths] and I were doing a scene, and [Steven Spielberg] came in, I didn’t know if Riley saw him, but I did. I was like, ‘Dude!” He was like, ‘Yeah, I see him!’ It was so funny because during this scene we were trying not to break character because he was there but we really wanted to talk to him and meet him. And it pushed us to do better in the scene, because he was there. That’s one of our better scenes together. It’s the one where we’re watching the TV, watching the newscast, and he was there during that scene. While we were at Bad Robot watching [the film] with J.J., I was like, “Riley, that’s the scene Steven was there for!” He was like, ‘I know, it’s awesome!’” Jeremy Irvine AGE: 21 THEN: Made big-screen debut as Albert Narracott in Steven Spielberg’s War Horse NOW: Will play younger version of Colin Firth’s character in The Railway Man , appear as Pip in Great Expectations , and co-star with Dakota Fanning in Now is Good WORDS OF ADVICE : “You’ve got to get away from the crowd. If you stay with everyone else, then you’re just going to be another one. But there’s no set way. At the end of the day, what it all comes down to is being in the right place at the right time.” Brit Marling AGE: 28 THEN: Co-wrote and starred in the Sundance darling Another Earth NOW: Appearing opposite Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon in Arbitrage and in the all-star Robert Redford-directed thriller The Company You Keep ON EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS : “When we were making this movie, we were saying at the beginning, ‘Oh yeah, we’ll have a screening at our house. How many people can we fit into the living room? If we bring in chairs and we borrow this person’s couch, we can fit 20 people in here to watch the movie!’ That’s kind of how we went about making it; we just wanted to make something, you know? The desire to just make something is so strong, you’re not even thinking about how it could enter the world. Getting to go to Sundance, and [Fox] Searchlight taking the film into their hands — which are the most capable hands in independent filmmaking — they put so much thought and feeling behind bringing this work into the world that basically, it’s every day a state of shock and awe.” Elizabeth Meriwether AGE: 30 THEN: Wrote the screenplay for the Natalie Portman/Ashton Kutcher comedy No Strings Attached NOW: Created Fox’s hit New Girl , has projects in development with Fox, Paramount and Universal ON THE MASTERPLAN : “This has just been a kind of unbelievable process. I just want to keep writing characters who are interesting and complicated people and interesting roles for women, in TV or film or in theater. I think that’s like my Blues Brothers mission.” Elizabeth Olsen AGE: 22 THEN: Wowed Sundance and stirred awards talk with her breakout role in Martha Marcy May Marlene NOW: Will appear in Peace, Love and Misunderstanding (with Jane Fonda), Red Lights (with Robert De Niro and Sigourney Weaver) and Very Good Girls (with Dakota Fanning) ON THE ART OF READING SCRIPTS : “There’s something that was really interesting that happened as I was reading it that I actually hadn’t experienced with other scripts, because it was also within the first six months of reading scripts and auditioning. Like when you’re reading a book in your head, you create this imaginary character, naturally. And it was my first time reading a script imagining myself instead of another character. Now, every time I read a script I try and make that happen, because it helps a lot to figure out or tell yourself, ‘Oh, I can do this,’ and then you end up reading it in a way that you would do it.” Corey Stoll AGE: 35 THEN: Stole scene after scene as Ernest Hemingway in Woody Allen’s monster hit Midnight in Paris NOW: Will appear in The Bourne Legacy and the Samantha Morton-led ensemble film Decoding Annie Parker ON THE AUDITION OF A LIFETIME : “It was like a two-page sentence with no punctuation. It was a lot to prepare in five or 10 minutes. But then I came in and did it, and he seemed really happy. He gave me one little adjustment, and I did it again. And that was it. It was a great audition — the best audition of my life in terms of the sense of not having to feel like I was auditioning, even. It was just this sense of, ‘Here, just read this. What does this sound like? Is this going to work?’ I was shockingly un-nervous for what the stakes were, because you look at it and think, ‘Wow. There are so many actors who would kill for this role.’ And it’s so well-written, and it’s such a juicy character, and you know that Woody Allen is going to direct it perfectly. It was just up to me to not screw it up. [Laughs]” Juno Temple AGE: 22 THEN: Had first leading role in the ’80s-era dramedy Dirty Girl NOW: Has a half-dozen projects in line for 2012, including the The Dark Knight Rises , Lovelace and Jack and Diane ON HER INSPIRATION : “I was 4 years old. It was L.A. – my parents lived in L.A. – and I was sitting on the couch. They had this great striped couch in the living room. My dad had a laser-disc machine. I remember the dress I was wearing, too: This little short, bright blue corduroy dress with red trim, buttoned up the front. I was wearing that. And my dad put on La Belle et la Bete , by Jean Cocteau. And I legitimately had my mind blown. I was in love with the beast. I wanted to be Belle more than I know how to put into words — still to this day, and I’m 22. I wanted to do that — anything I could do to make that stuff happen. So I started doing plays. I was always in fancy dress. It just became something I was obsessed with. I’ve always had a crazy, vivid imagination.” Shailene Woodley AGE: 20 THEN: Appeared as George Clooney’s daughter in The Descendants NOW: Navigating awards season (likely all the way to Oscar night) and upcoming fourth season of her hit TV show The Secret Life of the American Teenager ON FAME, THE NECESSARY EVIL : “As a kid, I never wanted to be in magazines. I never wanted to be that stupid ‘F’ word, famous. I never wanted to be an ‘S’ word, star. For me it was all about the art of acting. I remember being an 8-year-old and saying, “I’m going to be a third-grade teacher and on the side, I’ll act.” [Laughs] I don’t want to be a third-grade teacher anymore, but I do want to always acting be my hobby and it be fun. The day it becomes tedious or the day it becomes something I feel I have to do for money, or because of the industry, or because of some silly image, is the day I quit. If it’s not fueling something, why would I do it?” Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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Elizabeth Olsen, Shailene Woodley, and Other 2011 Highlights From The Verge

THG Presents: The 2011-2012 NBA Preview!

At THG, we love celebrity gossip. We also love sports. And we especially love when the world of celebrity gossip collides with the world of sports. Never is this more prevalent than on the NBA hardwood, and not solely due to the Kardashians! Therefore, with the season finally tipping off tomorrow, we present the definitive 2011-2012 season preview. Trust us, gossip lovers, there are more reasons why you should care than you may realize… BOSTON CELTICS

From Lion Kings to Lethal Lisbeth — Julie’s 10 Favorite Films of 2011

Truth be told, I don’t enjoy ranking films — especially at the end of a year that disappointingly lacked a single title that moved me to tears, gut-busting laughter or some kind of profound existential realization. (However there were quite a few films that inspired hopelessness for the future of cinema. See Just Go With It and Bucky Larson: Born To Be a Star . Actually, don’t see them.) But there  were some titles I’d recommend and even some I wouldn’t immediately regift if they found their way under my Christmas tree/menorah this season. Behold, my fave films of 2011. As always, let me know how much you disagree with this list in the space below. 10. The Muppets In a year that lacked decent romantic comedies, The Muppets filled the feel-good movie void for me. Jim Henson’s fuzzy characters — who made their long-awaited return to the multiplex in this Jason Segel/Nick Stoller-scripted picture — have the uncanny ability to make audiences forget their cynicism — even after paying the $12 ticket price. That special power is priceless, especially when combined with the overpowering nostalgia that Kermit, Miss Piggy and the entire Henson gang induce. 9. African Cats For the record, I would watch any nature documentary narrated by Samuel L. Jackson because this Oscar nominated-actor’s intense delivery could make any non-event seem suspenseful. But this Disneynature release exceeded my expectations. Chronicling the lives of a pride of lions (led by Fang, their grizzly, fearless, snaggle-toothed superior — the equivalent to The Lion King ‘s Mufasa) and a rival family of cheetahs led by a single mother Sita, this story was at once informative and breathtakingly beautiful. The real-life footage depicted a majestic African savannah so gorgeous that it was hard to believe it was not computer-generated and a tale of death, reunion and fiercely protective paternal impulses so moving that it was difficult to comprehend that it was not scripted. Furthermore, the story of Sita’s single motherhood in the majestic African savannah is the most compelling story of single parenthood I’ve seen all year. 8. Contagion Steven Soderbergh’s cautionary virus film is my favorite horror flick of the year, mainly because it continued to inspire fear and nightmares long after my first screening. Any film that can weave together another award-worthy Kate Winslet performance and Matt Damon as an overly protective dad who stages a home prom for his quarantined daughter complete with U2 dance mix is a film friend of mine. In addition to being all of these things (and the best-paced film of the year, in my opinion),  Contagion established itself as one of the best-worst cautionary tales for adulturers ever. 7. Crazy, Stupid, Love Ryan Gosling in a well-tailored suit. Emma Stone playing a head-smart female who can miraculously bait emotionally closed-off men into mature romantic relationships. Steve Carell as a dejected divorc é. Josh Grobin. A brilliant, if totally impractical and unrealistic, scene involving the Dirty Dancing lift. What I could have done without — in this Dan Fogelman-scripted film — is every other peripheral storyline including Julianne Moore’s romance with a work colleague played by Kevin Bacon, a babysitter crushing hard for Carell and makeshift miniature golf courses. Regardless, this is one of the smartest films to fall under the romantic-comedy umbrella this year. 6. Warrior Full disclosure: I am partial to any film set in Pittsburgh because I am a Steel City native. That being said, Gavin O’Connor’s sports drama was not just a welcome dose of nostalgia but a tale of repressed familial feelings and resentment told against the gritty ‘burgh backdrop. Although the whole Moby Dick audiobook situation may have been a little heavy-handed for my taste, Nick Nolte’s performance as a recovering alcoholic and sinner was crushing. Also, I prefer Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton’s portrayal of tragically competitive brothers over Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale’s any day of the week. 5. 50/50 I was hesitant to see a film branded  a “cancer comedy” — even if it starred Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anna Kendrick and Anjelica Huston. But when I finally did get to the theater, I discovered one of the sweetest films of the year. One that was able to tackle cancer with a heaping dose of comedy that never felt inappropriate, thanks in part to Will Reiser’s touching script and each supporting cast member who seemed responsible for bringing one major component to the movie each: Angelica Huston (sympathy), Seth Rogen (laughs), Bryce Dallas Howard (bitchiness) and Anna Kendrick (hope). Do not be afraid of 50/50 — it is one of the few films this year that really earned its uplifting ending. 4. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol Because of the number of tabloid pages dedicated to him, I always end up discounting Tom Cruise as an actor…until I get into a movie theater and realize again, just why he is and deserves to be a movie star. Tom Cruise has a unique screen presence that demands your attention and ticket money — and when paired with Brad Bird’s impeccable direction and the stomach-churning action sequences in this fourth Mission: Impossible installment, was a sight to behold, and one that I hope I can experience very soon again. 3. Young Adult In addition to boasting one of the smartest, hilarious and most devilishly complex protagonists of the year, Young Adult introduced the wonderful Patton Oswalt as the kind of unoriginal male lead that thinking movie audiences deserve. Thank you to Juno filmmakers Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody for giving us a fresh female character who can be manipulative, bitchy and yet completely relatable — in that she understands how dulcet the nasal-y narration of Kourtney Kardashian can be when you are stained sweatpants-level depressed. 2. Melancholia So Lars von Trier’s epic end-of-the-world endeavor may not be the kind of film I’d rush back to see again anytime in the next few days — but that is because I am still digesting the dichotomy of the wildly beautiful images and disturbing apocalyptic tale of one depressed bride (Kirsten Dunst) and her improbably tolerant sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) who see a planet approaching their own. This is the most nightmarish cinematic screensaver ever — and I mean that in the best way possible. Also, Kiefer Sutherland’s comedic relief contributions are something to be admired. (On an unrelated note, can someone please give me a final bath count for this movie? I’ve never seen depressives take to the bathtub more eagerly than the bed.) 1. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo After reading Stieg Larsson’s Millenium series, and then sincerely enjoying the original Swedish Girl With the Dragon Tattoo — directed by Niels Arden Oplev — I did not know how David Fincher would improve upon such a solid film released so recently (2009). I should have known better than to doubt Fincher and his new muse Rooney Mara though, who transformed into the film’s dark, damaged, kick-ass heroine under the filmmaker’s expert care. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is easily the most electrifying and interesting thriller of the year. Follow Julie Miller on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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From Lion Kings to Lethal Lisbeth — Julie’s 10 Favorite Films of 2011

Emily Watson on War Horse, War Goose and Other Recommended Viewing

Never one to let inhibitions stand in the way of a great creative opportunity, Emily Watson put aside her equinophobia for a while to join up with Steven Spielberg’s new War Horse . Along the way, she also got to know the film’s irrepressible goose, its neophyte leading man and its legendary filmmaker’s one-of-a-kind facility with epic storytelling. Watson explained more recently in a chat with Movieline. I don’t know about you, but I am War Horse -d out, Can we talk about something else? What else is going on? What else is going on? I was interested in a comment you made in the press conference about how everyone on a set should have a T-shirt that says, “It’s not about you.” Can you elaborate on that? I just mean that as a storyteller, when you get out of the way, that’s when the magic starts. If you’re paranoid about your performance or your status or how you look, or if there’s something stopping you from giving yourself over to a story? Actors, directors, cameramen — if everybody’s just there to tell the story, then you can get some great work. And so it’s not about Spielberg on the set? No, it’s not. He is one of those rare creatures who is compelled to tell stories. He’d be like a fish with no water — he’d be deprived of air if he wasn’t telling stories. Robert Altman was the same. Paul Thomas Anderson was the same. It’s like a muscle that has to be exercised. Everything he’s saying and everything he’s about is, “How can we best deliver this moment in time?” Now, everybody has a different way of doing that, but it’s all from the utter urgency of being a storyteller. What about a guy like Lars von Trier, who’s perceived as almost inseparable from his films? [Long pause] Yeah, I’d say. I think the stories that he’s compelled to tell are quite… You know, in a way, all storytellers are philosophers. They’re searching for meaning in everything. He’s quite close to the edge and extreme, but in the same way, he’s really searching for meaning somehow. Are you really afraid of horses? Mm-hmm. [Laughs] But I didn’t let on. Yes, I am. I’m not good around animals, generally. Oh — at all? I don’t mind dogs and cats and all that, but… What is it about horses? They might kick me! They’re big, powerful creatures? I think it’s my own ignorance. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how to read the signs of a horse. But if I’d been on it… I love the sound of the boys’ training camp. To be able to learn to do something like that? It sounds amazing. And I love the whole cavalry charge. It’s stupendous! I love it. Have you ever had to learn a skill for a role? I had to learn the cello for Hilary and Jackie , which was a big deal. It was a difficult thing to learn. How long did it take? Well, I say I learned the cello. I was miming to playback in the film. But I did learn pretty accurate fingering and the right bowing and the sense of expression. If you actually heard what I was playing, it would be excruciating. How long did it take? Two months? Two or three months? I think I had about 20 different pieces of music that I had to play, and I sat down and meticulously learned the tune for each one. And then I learned the fingering for each piece, and then I learned the bowing. Then I put them together. It was very scientific! Back to the animals: Was the goose in this movie as bad-ass as it looked? [Laughs] Yeah, it was. You were totally afraid of the goose, right? No, not really. I did sort of a photo op with the geese at one point, and they were really sweet. I just kind of held them. They had brilliant handlers as well, the geese. They could run and hit marks. It was mindblowing what these animals could do. But the goose is from the play. Have you seen the play? I haven’t. There’s a fabulous goose puppet. It’s great. I mean, War Horse is great and everything, but I’m really holding out for War Goose . “A miraculous goose.” Right! Anyway, this is Jeremy Irvine’s first screen role . What kind of relationship did you have behind the scenes? I felt very protective towards him. Just being a proper grown-up; he’s say, “I’m fine, I’m fine,” but you could see how terrified he was — how much he was having to absorb and learn every second. But he had a great attitude. He had a great sense of humility and a great sense of wanting to learn and be as good as he could be, which is lovely to watch. Do you remember the first Spielberg film you saw? I think it was E.T. I loved it. I wept. What your relationship with Spielberg films as a viewer? Are they must-see theater viewing? Not always, but yeah — it’s an event, isn’t it? What else is out that you like? I liked Warrior very much. Have you seen that? I thought the fight sequences were absolutely brilliant — so committed, so real. You always tend to go, “Yeah, yeah — they’re faking it.” And that didn’t look like faking it. I love Tom Hardy. I think he’s wonderful. I loved Beginners . I loved it. I found it very affecting and real. When you know somebody like I know Ewan [McGregor], whom I’ve known for a while, it’s quite difficult to forget and be transported by them. And I really was. I thought he was wonderful. What else have I seen? I liked Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy . It’s classy. It’s classy . Oldman’s amazing in that. Have you worked with him before? No. It’s interesting you say that about McGregor versus someone like Oldman. Does that always tend take you out of the experience? Absolutely. You know their ways of doing things; you know them as a person. Like Phil[ip Seymour] Hoffman: I’ve worked with him several times, and he’s in so many things and I just… [Pauses] Now, having said that, he’s brilliant. He’s absolutely brilliant. But it does make it harder to suspend your disbelief when you know somebody. What are you up to next? I just wrapped on a film called Little Boy , which is directed by Alejandro Monteverde; it’s about a little boy in California during the second World War who thinks he can bring his dad home from a Japanese prisoner-of-war camp using his magic powers. And I play his mom. It’s kind of a grown-up fairy tale. And I’m doing a few days on Joe Wright’s Anna Karenina . I’m playing Countess Lydia — a nasty piece of work. Ohhhh. Are you looking forward to it? I am. I’ve already done one day. Oh, yeah. You sound like a fan of the book. I am. I’ve read it a few times in my life. It’s a very interesting book, because you see it very differently when you’re young. As your age changes, you read it very differently. I was shocked when I read it the last time. What was different? Well, when I was young, I think I really identified with Anna and wanting to be that in love and the terrible tragedy of it all. I don’t know if I wanted to kill myself at the end of it. Then you read it now, and you realize the decisions she makes about her children– to leave her children — for the sake of this affair is… [Winces] I have children of my own, so… Anyway, it changes. Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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Emily Watson on War Horse, War Goose and Other Recommended Viewing

Gabrielle Union Bikini Pictures

I can never remember what it is that Gabrielle Union does, does that make me a terrible person? Is she an actress or a singer? Anyhow, I guess it doesn’t really matter, the fact is she looks good in a bikini and that’s all that I really care about. Here she is enjoying a little down time on the beach the other day in her sexy orange swimsuit. I’m impressed. I’d like to peel those oranges.

Arianny Celeste Is Naughty School Girl

isn’t it kind of perverted to like pictures of some hot chick in a schoolgirl outfit? It just doesn’t feel right, I like it. Here’s hottie Arianny Celeste hamming it up for the cameras in what have to be some Twitter pictures. Everyone’s jumped on the post pictures of yourself on the internet bandwagon. I guess if I had breasts like hers I’d post pictures of them too… In the tub, on a bicycle, jumping up and down on a trampoline. You name it. *Vote for Arianny Celeste in the 2011 Hollywood Tuna Hottie of the Year Poll

Rita Rusic Is In A Bikini Again

I hope that hot cougar Rita Rusic is mulling over my offer to become my sugar-momma, she fits the profile perfectly by possessing several qualities I look for in a woman. Cash and a nice bikini body. Here she is lounging on the beach again while the warm sun gently caresses those sweet big bikini breasts of hers. Lucky sun. I don’t know how old most of her body is, but her breasts must still be fairly young. I like it.

Don’t Hate, Celebrate the Top 9 Not-So-Guilty Pleasures of 2011

Traditionally a “guilty pleasure” is something you’d be embarrassed for the world to know you secretly enjoyed or for your Facebook friends to see you clicked on, but you know what? Around here we embrace the bad-to-godawful movies we love, and besides; what the heck does it even mean to like something ironically, you insufferable hipster? Toss away your pretentious hat, sit down in the circle of trust, take a deep breath, and join Movieline in unabashedly celebrating the inane, misguided, off-the-mark, and downright B-A-D but nevertheless shamelessly entertaining movies of the year – the Top 9 Not-So-Guilty Pleasures of 2011 . Because we all love some terrible things, don’t we? 9. Nick Nolte in Zookeeper Maybe I just cribbed from everyone’s Worst Movies of 2011 list. Maybe Nick Nolte’s work as a TGI Friday’s-loving gorilla named Bernie in Zookeeper eclipses his shattering work in Warrior on the basis of its cringe-worthiness alone. And maybe I feel so bad that poor Nolte had to sing Florida’s “Low” in character as a gorilla opposite Kevin James that it’s endeared me to his scenes. Also: Primates instantly make any movie better. Everybody knows that. 8. The year in Armond White-isms Call for his head all you want, I’ll staunchly defend notorious film critic Armond White (The man who once coined the phrase “abortionhorny” and thought Lady Gaga would make for better Lisbeth Salander casting!) to the end, purely because his reviews are so goddamn entertaining. Add to that the iconoclast take on movies, supported by left-field arguments that are sometimes so crazy they make complete sense, and you’ve got an essential voice in contemporary movie writing. Even if he raved over Adam Sandler in drag; let that be an exception. 7. The Footloose soundtrack I have no fondness for Blake Shelton’s feeble country mimicry of a Kenny Loggins cover, but Movieline’s Louis Virtel was won over by the Footloose remake’s contempo-pop soundtrack of redos. They can’t all be Karen O-Led Zeppelin covers, I suppose. Let’s hear it for the art of pop homage done toe-tappingly well enough? 6. Gerard Depardieu PeeGate At first, it seemed like French acting legend Gerard Depardieu, to quote 2011′s viral sensation the Honey Badger, simply did not give a shit. But unlike the year’s other infamous celebrity incidents (Lars and the Nazi Joke Heard ‘Round the Word, Madonna’s HydrangeaGate), this one boiled down to one man’s humble humanity (and prostate issues). So ridiculous was the tale that Anderson Cooper broke his dashing resolve to giggle through his on-air report, but think of Gerard and embrace his moment of weakness; there’s no shame in acknowledging our fragile human vulnerabilities from time to time. 5. Season of the Witch / Drive Angry / Trespass (AKA A Good Year for Nic Cage) I wouldn’t call it a banner year for Nicolas Cage himself, but it was a great year to be a Nic Cage watcher. He started out 2011 with the medieval gift of silliness that was Season of the Witch , guzzled beer from his enemy’s skull in the genre pic Drive Angry , and (with the other Nic – Nicole Kidman) bequeathed us with Joel Schumacher’s Trespass , a film Movieline’s S.T. VanAirsdale loved, and laughed through, unapologetically. All one big set-up to watch him pee fire! 4. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family My personal conversion to the church of Tyler Perry happened earlier this year when I found myself rolling in the aisles during Madea’s Big Happy Family . Is Perry’s Madea a cartoonish, hulking hurricane of a woman? Does she reinforce unfortunate cultural stereotypes even as she doles out totally reasonable life advice? All I know is Perry – the performer, the director, the check-cashing media tycoon (and sensitive man of the world) – is some kind of genius to have made an empire out of a wig, a muumuu, and an attitude, one that further allows him a pedestal from which he geniunely consoles and encourages his fans. Hallelujer, indeed. 3. Lonely Island’s “Jack Sparrow” All you need to know, if you don’t already, is that Jorma Taccone, Andy Samberg, and Akiva Shaffer – AKA Lonely Island – wrote an inspired ditty and snared icon of yesteryear Michael Bolton to sing the hook. Only ginormous film fan Michael Bolton turned it into a song about Pirates of the Caribbean , Forrest Gump , and all of his favorite movies — an ode to the cheesy, cliched movies we all love. Instant karaoke classic. 2. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Love it or hate it, the Twilight Saga is what it is. And when Robert Pattinson started chowing down on Kristen Stewart’s pregnant belly in the kooky denouement of Bill Condon’s vampire sequel, shit started getting so, so real. AND THEN THE WOLF GUY FELL FOR THE BABY AND OH MY GOD YES. 1. Abduction Speaking of Twilight , the universe that Stephenie Meyer created inadvertently led, in turn, to my number one most enjoyable film experience of the year: Sitting through the entirety of Abduction . Terrible line readings, second unit typos, Taylor Lautner’s posturing ’80s action-inspired swagger – it was all there, and it was all insanely terrible and great at the same time. Does this border on liking Abduction ironically? Maybe, but I couldn’t help it. Just know this: Every second of feeble-handed acting, directing, and writing held my attention rapt and engaged my senses; I came alive imagining the winding thicket of talent, dollars, and choices that could’ve churned out such a product. Was any of it intentional – was John Singleton just fucking with us all? Probably not, but still; this holiday season give yourself the gift of watching Abduction and soak in the glory of the ultimate Bad Movie We Love of 2011. Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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Don’t Hate, Celebrate the Top 9 Not-So-Guilty Pleasures of 2011

Margin Midnight Mara Marlene: Louis’s 10 Favorite Films of 2011

I realize I may have given away some of these choices with my utterly correct listing of the year’s ten best performances , but no matter! 2011′s finest cinema, specifically the top three choices on my list, gifted us with bleak, but comprehensive glimpses into personal isolation. I love when a movie is resolutely grim — reminds me of home. Here are my top ten films of 2011. 10. Win Win Director Thomas McCarthy’s understated, thoughtful look at a suburban wrestling coach’s (Paul Giamatti) dubious business dealings dredges up your pity and empathy at different moments, but it mostly acquaints you with one of the best teenage performances of the past few years in newcomer and real-life wrestling prodigy Alex Shaffer. It helps that his character is well-written too. As McCarthy explained to us about the emotional lives of teenagers, “They’re struggling with all kinds of things — who they are, what they are, what they want to be. That, for many of those kids, is a very private and scary struggle. A lot of times how that manifests itself is a very deadpan approach to the world: ‘I’m not going to let you see what I’m feeling until I’m ready to really show that.’” When Shaffer is ready to show, it’s a poignant sight. 9. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo I knew I was in for a treat the minute I heard Trent Reznor and Karen O’s cover of “Immigrant Song,” but David Fincher’s Dragon Tattoo so improves upon the original Swedish film trilogy thanks to two fantastic assets: blisteringly chilly cinematography and the commanding work of Rooney Mara as well-pierced heroine Lisbeth Salander. It may drag in parts, but Mara’s conviction merits a 160-minute runtime. 8. Weekend Tom Cullen and Chris New play the most insightful lovers of the year in Andrew Haigh’s low-key story of one lonely gay man’s short affair with a candid, self-possessed artist. The movie is especially incisive in its depiction of two men who relate both romantically and — in an empathetic way — fraternally. There’s not a pretentious or cloying moment in this wholly believable story. 7. Midnight in Paris Whimsy: I’m usually not a fan! But Midnight in Paris ‘s droll journey back to the heyday of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and Salvador Dali makes a wonderful protagonist out of Owen Wilson, a gorgeous backdrop for Marion Cotillard’s all-consuming charisma, and a weirdly perfect scene for the film’s moral. You either go with this movie’s kooky historical lark or you don’t, but every actor in that post-midnight time portal is just so fun. My favorite: Kathy Bates as a staunchly supportive Gertrude Stein. 6. Young Adult Forget the hype about “unlikable” heroine Mavis Gary, the grizzled authoress Charlize Theron plays in the new Jason Reitman/Diablo Cody joint Young Adult — She’s an imperturbable, amazingly deluded woman-child whose self-assured mania is more engrossing and “likable” than most characters you’ll encounter this year. I’d like to offer a new tagline for this cranky, suburban comedy: Assholes are Awesome .

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Margin Midnight Mara Marlene: Louis’s 10 Favorite Films of 2011