With film bloggers and critics going on about how Skyfall is a James Bond movie that depicts 007 as a human being instead of a cartoon character, I want to draw attention to a smart infographic posted by TinyMaster on Visual.ly that compiles some interesting data about where — and how many times — James Bond has hooked up over the 50 years he’s been on the big screen. TinyMaster is the handle of Emma Price , who has designed what she calls a “Nymphographic” that breaks down the settings of Bond’s “implied,” as she puts it, sex scenes by movie and, at the end, posts a running tally of each type of encounter. (She’s left a blank for Skyfall which, presumably, she’ll be filling in soon since she’s UK-based.) The fun part is that Bond has gotten busy on a space shuttle, a ferris wheel and an iceberg-shaped submarine, but what I found particularly interesting is that, despite Bond’s reputation as a sexual adventurer, 37 of the 75 encounters detailed in Price’s Nymphographic (see below) took place in a bed, two happened on the floor, two unfolded in cars and one happened on a couch. That sounds like a typical teenager’s sex life — over the course of a handful of months, by the way, not 50 years. Maybe James does need to get his mojo back. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow TinyMaster on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
This week, your Labor Day holiday viewing kicks off with Tom Hardy in cardigans in John Hillcoat’s Lawless for the grown-ups and the PG-13 horror flick The Possession for everyone else. Well, almost everyone else; if you have eyeballs and live in the targeted marketing range of self-professed Teletubbies PR whiz Kenn Viselman, another new offering is jockeying for the disposable ticket monies of the kid-toting demographic out there. Its name is Oogieloves . And it’s coming for you. The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure is, like The Teletubbies , colorful G-rated children’s programming built around giant humanoid creatures, this time full-bodied puppet-kids Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie. (Unfortunately the stoner entertainment potential seems much, much lower here.) There’s no good reason for you to know what the Oogieloves are, though if you’re like me the billboards and posters around town have a lingering, disturbing effect. My immediate reaction to turning the corner to come face to face with one of these Oogieloves posters: WHAT ARE THESE GIANT FABRIC CANDY-COLORED CHILDREN-PUPPETS WITH NO NOSES? WHY DO THEY STARE AT ME FROM BEHIND THOSE BALLOONS LIKE PUPPET PEEPING TOMS?? DEAR GOD THEY’RE GOING TO EAT ME, AREN’T THEY??? And side note: Guys, just stop trying to make “Oogust” happen. Oogieloves aims to set itself apart from the competition by offering children and parents an interactive moviegoing experience: Here, the young viewer is encouraged to dance and sing with the screen characters as a gaggle of semi-recognizable celebrities (Toni Braxton, Cloris Leachman, Chazz Palminteri, Cary Elwes, Jaime Pressly) turn in cameos to keep the grown-ups from falling asleep/banging their heads against the seat, at least on some basic level of C-list celebrity spotting. I’m not a parent, so I don’t have much of an idea of how excruciating it is to sit through the majority of television and film programming aimed at the toddler set. I imagine Oogieloves isn’t any less torturous to sit through than your average kids picture. But there’s also a practical upside to the experimental interactive angle. “Instead of giving our children popcorn and soda and asking them to sit still during a 90 minute movie, we looked at the experience from a child’s point of view,” Viselman explained to the Sacramento Bee. It’s not just Baby Brigade night at your local cineplex; it’s playtime for a theater full of energetic tots who don’t have to try to sit still for an hour and a half, staring passively at the screen. Herein lies Viselman’s genius, if I may use that word (it’s been applied to him in the past for blowing up The Teletubbies phenomenon by fabricating the Tinky Winky gay rumors, and casting George Carlin in Thomas the Tank Engine ). Oogieloves , regardless of its actual content, fulfills a need that parents can’t find elsewhere – the chance to bring children to the movies without having to shush them, or wrangle them, without worrying about disturbing other patrons. Viselman teamed up with educator/Ph.D. Faith Rogow to pen a Parents Guide to Oogieloves ( pdf ) that outlines all the ways in which Oogieloves is an enriching educational film for 3-5 year-olds. It doesn’t include my favorite trivia bit about this whole Oogieloves business: That Viselman concocted the idea after going to a Tyler Perry movie and noticing how members of the audience were super into talking back to the screen. So if you find yourself dragged along to see Christopher Lloyd flamenco dancing with giant scary puppet spawn this week, you know who to blame/thank. ( Oogieloves is directed by Matthew Diamond, whose 1998 Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary for the Paul Taylor dance doc Dancemaker , amazingly enough, lends the pic some Oscar cred.) So what the good God is Oogieloves to any of us without children to entertain? I boil it down to the famous people trapped in this ultimate paycheck gig, even if some of them seem to be enjoying themselves much more than others. Let’s rank the celebrity cameos based on film stills and guess at who’s Oogielovin’ and Oogiehating their lives this week, in order of increasing enjoyment/decreasing humiliation: Christopher Lloyd as Lero Sombrero The front-runner of the Oogieloves misery contest appears to be Christopher Lloyd but hey, only a viewing of the film will tell. Even Piranha 3DD made more sense than this. Carey Elwes as Bobby Wobbly Remember Cary Elwes’ glory days? Sigh. Chazz Palminteri as Marvin Milkshake Fascinatingly enough, the Oscar nominee almost seems like he’s actually having fun, or at least doesn’t give a shit that he’s serving milkshakes to puppet children in a movie called Oogieloves . Jaime Pressly as Lola Sombrero Likewise, there’s no trace of sadness in Pressly’s face. I fully believe her dedication to the Oogieloves cause. Toni Braxton as Rosalie Rosebud On the other hand, Toni Braxton looks completely unfazed playing an over-the-top singer modeled after Mariah Carey . This could be her acting breakthrough. Cloris Leachman as Dottie Rounder And that brings us to the unsinkable Cloris Leachman, who appears to be having a freaking ball (as she always does). This is your Oogieloves MVP right here. Anyone planning on seeing Oogieloves this week? Come on back and tell us how it was. Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Adult actress/filmmaker/reality TV personality Sunny Leone was poised to make a big splash in her non-porny Bollywood acting debut, an erotic thriller that by all accounts had everything: Cleavage-baring love scenes, Bollywood musical interludes, a convoluted plot about a porn star asked to go undercover to lure her insane assassin-ex to the authorities. But on top of its racy material enraging some audiences in India, director Pooja Bhatt’s picture had something else working against it, even moreso stateside: Dudes, it’s called Jism 2 . Bhatt’s erotic thriller, a follow-up in name to 2003’s Jism (the word means “body” in Hindi… and something entirely different in the parlance of our times), did decent business in India last week despite lukewarm reviews. In its second week, however, Jism 2 suffered a steep drop off , but in America, where media companies like Apple reportedly balked at the title , it was a nonstarter. Maybe Leone’s fanbase opted out (save those who tuned in to Jism 2 , y’know, just for the acting). I’m guessing the limited opportunities to plaster the words “JISM 2!” on billboards and bus stops across America didn’t help, either. Or, as reviews revealed, it simply wasn’t worth getting worked up about. “The most controversial Hindi film of the year is also the worst,” blared The Hollywood Reporter in its review. Another critic at Bollywood Hungama perhaps put it best: “Sunny Leone in the driver’s seat, coupled with a generous dose of skin show and erotica, besides an attention-grabbing title, should act as a honey-trap to lure the audiences. But how one wishes this jism had soul as well!” [ THR , Yahoo India , Bollywood Hungama ]
Cole Abaius over at Film School Rejects performs a post-mortem on Adam Sandler ‘s increasingly inane recent output of comedies, as parodied brilliantly in Judd Apatow’s Funny People (then subsequently embraced with stinkers like Jack and Jill — life imitating art imitating life?). “The most prominent George Simmons film in Funny People is a gem called Re-Do where an overworked lawyer is transmuted by magic into the body of an infant,” Abaius observes. “By playing Simmons, Sandler was directly commenting on the hollow nature of a lot of his own work.” The George Simmons Conundrum has been the single most infuriating/perplexing factor in Sandler-watching in the past few years. Clearly he was self-aware enough to recognize and mock his own image and career dependence on stupid high-concept comedies, rather perfectly addressed in the underrated Funny People . So why continued the streak of Razzie-worthy crapfests? For the mainstream money? To meet perceived audience expectations? Because it’s easy*? * We have a winner. [ Film School Rejects ]
Because despite all indications otherwise , Gary Ross has reportedly walked away from Lionsgate’s blockbuster sequel Catching Fire . Let’s come up with plan B! Via The Playlist : Though recent trade reports have spun the story as being an issue mostly about money, that’s pretty much a small part of the motivation. Ross has never been a filmmaker that repeats himself (going from satire in Pleasantville to horse racing drama in Seabiscuit and action in Hunger Games ) and we’re told the burning desire simply isn’t there to spend another couple of years with Katniss in the Capitol (evidently, he also liked the first book best). And while the lowball salary offer probably didn’t help, Ross already has a fairly lucrative career as a screenwriter (and rewriter) and money isn’t really the issue. Simply put, the filmmaker is looking to change things up for this next effort. Mazel tov, Gary Ross. But damn this creative vacuum. Who to call on as his replacement? What’s that guy who made Safe House up to next? My money’s on him. Or Paul Greengrass. The shakier the camera, the better. Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
For some reason a remake of the 1987 comedy classic Summer School has been in development hell for years, and it may finally come to fruition under Adam Sandler ‘s Happy Madison banner. Though Sandler hasn’t yet threatened to star as the slacker high school gym teacher forced to start caring about education — a role played with Hawaiian-shirted panache by one Mr. Mark Harmon, and don’t you forget it — the possibility certainly looms over this project, as THR reports that Happy Madison is negotiating to produce. Take a trip down memory lane with the original trailer and decide: If not Sandler, who could fill Harmon’s sockless shoes? (And will there be a part for Kirstie Alley?) [ THR ]
If you happen to live in a neighborhood with no Jehovah’s Witness ladies around to remind you that we’re living in the last days, wackadoodle director Abel Ferrara’s latest, 4:44 Last Day on Earth , is here to drive that truth home — or at least make you think about it just a little bit. Willem Dafoe plays an actor, Cisco, facing what he, and everybody else, knows is the Earth’s last day, thanks to an ozone layer that dissolved faster than anyone expected. He spends that last day writing in his journal, watching video footage of some fake-inspirational guru-dude, reaching out to his daughter and assorted pals via Skype and, most importantly, making sweet, crazy, soft-core love to his dishy, much-younger girlfriend, painter Skye (Shanyn Leigh), in the couple’s artsy, faux-ramshackle Manhattan loft. What a way to go! And yet, for an Abel Ferrara movie at least, 4:44 Last Day on Earth is surprisingly restrained. It doesn’t have the loosey-goosey dress-up-box vibe of the director’s 2007 Go Go Tales (also starring Dafoe), or the lackadaisical silliness of his 2005 Blessed Virgin thriller Mary (which featured a post- Big Fish , pre- La Vie en Rose Marion Cotillard, though I don’t remember a thing about her performance). 4:44 is, like the aforementioned movies, often laughable — watching the excessively craggy Dafoe and the excessively nubile Leigh roll around on their pre-Apocalyptic mattress was certainly good for a giggle. But the picture is also weirdly compelling, maybe most notably for the way Dafoe’s character — who is, in this respect, perhaps a stand-in for the Bronx-born Ferrara — seems to be grappling less with the idea that the world is ending than that the city is ending. Ferrara integrates lots of — perhaps too much — found TV footage of people around the world worshiping, lighting candles, and doing whatever it is people would be likely to do on the Earth’s last day. This stuff is boring and kind of dumb. But Ferrara brings some surprising gracefulness to the mix too: At one point Cisco and Skye order take-out, as any red-blooded New Yorker would do — when the world is ending, who has the energy to cook? When the Vietnamese delivery boy shows up, Cisco asks him, patronizingly, if he knows what’s going on. (He also tips the kid what might be $40 or $60, because, well, why not?) Then he asks, more kindly, if he can do anything for the boy, who responds by indicating that he’d like to contact his family back home via Skype. He speaks with them for a few minutes, but the movie’s sweetest moment comes just after he closes the lid of the MacBook: He stoops down to kiss it. Ferrara has some fun exploring both the high-tech and low-tech ways in which a human being, on the last day of mankind’s existence, might reach out to others. At one point Cisco steps out on his roof deck and lift a pair of field glasses to his eyes, the better to peep through his neighbors’ windows: He sees groups of people huddled together quietly; he also sees a man who’s just cooked a steak for himself, cutting a portion for his begging dog. In the city, looking through other people’s windows is sometimes voyeurism (benign or otherwise), but often it’s just a casual means of human connection, a point Ferrara makes beautifully here. And then there’s the Internet, which connects us all for better or worse. Ferrara can’t seem to get enough of Skype — but then, who among us can? After Cisco and Skye have a lover’s spat that really might be the end of the world, she rushes to her computer to Skype with mom, and what should pop up on the screen but the blessedly unfixed and unadorned face of Anita Pallenberg, who, in a voice that sounds either like the Devil or a lifetime of too many cigarettes (or both) tells her daughter how much she loves her and that she’s proud of her. She also tries to comfort her in the world’s last moments with a piece of advice that’s halfway between outright howler and sage mommy wisdom: “Just go to another sphere and it will be all right.” That’s sort of a metaphor for the act of watching Ferrara’s movies — going to another sphere is always required. At least in the case of 4:44 Last Day on Earth , it really is kind of all right. Read Movieline’s profile of 4:44 Last Day on Earth director Abel Ferrara here . Follow Stephanie Zacharek on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
I won’t argue: “‘[T]he stars aligned’ may be the only explanation for 1995 being the greatest year in the history of movies. How else do we make sense out of the bounty that included no less than three Christina Ricci vehicles, career-bests for Ron Howard, Michael Mann, Mel Gibson, Richard Linklater, Amy Heckerling, Todd Haynes, and Clint Eastwood, the speedy ascension of Sandra Bullock’s star, a talking pig, AND Showgirls ?” [ The Hairpin ]
David Fincher might never have actually entertained the thought of casting Yo-Landi Vi$$er of South African zef rap duo Die Antwoord as his Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (at most, she seems to have been a rabid pixie style icon for Rooney Mara’s Oscar-nommed take on Lisbeth Salander), but how much more twisted and subversive might the diminutive Visser have been in the role, tasering old pervs and getting dirty in the “Feel-Bad Movie of the Year?” Watch the video for Die Antwoord’s latest grime jam, “I Fink U Freeky,” and let’s brainstorm ways to make Yo-Landi’s movie career happen, already. In the video, Yo-Landi takes front and center warbling the mantra “I fink u freeky (and I like you a lot)” while partner and music video co-director Ninja busts his own rhyme and unleashes a furious flurry of dance moves with some unusual cohorts. (Johannesburg-based photographer Roger Ballen shares directing credit with Ninja and lends the proceedings his signature black and white aesthetic.) As in most of their oeuvre, the pair embrace the idea of freakishness with relish. Yo-Landi in particular presents various aspects of her persona: Alien she-creature, weirdo South African Gothic homemaker, urban tribeswoman, newspaper cosplayer, coy 21st century cavewoman. The lady’s a chameleon! Now, I caught Die Antwoord’s wheelchair gangsta short Umshini Wam at SXSW and there’s word they’re planning their own feature film called The Answer , described as “a high-energy, totally next-level, rap-rave feature film … [akin to] District 9 , but just with more rave and more rap.” I say, why stop there? Off the bat, I picture Yo-Landi in a Species reboot. An urban comedy. Heck, dress her up in Michelle Williams’ pioneer duds for Meek’s Cutoff 2 and she’d make it riveting. I’d watch it. [Hat tip to @matthewfong ]
Joe Carnahan probably knew he was in for something of a tussle when his latest film, the survival actioner/mortality meditation The Grey , began drawing criticism from animal activist groups sight unseen even before it debuted ( at #1 , no less) last weekend. But then PETA posted its own twofold complaint regarding the depiction of wolves in the film and the reported eating of wolf meat on Carnahan’s set, escalating the anti- Grey fight. The question is, does PETA have a legit beef with The Grey ? In a blog entry posted to the official PETA website , the organization blasts Carnahan on two fronts for being “rotten to wolves from the get-go.” First, the more general grievance: The Grey , they say, makes wolves look bad. “The writers paint a pack of wolves living in the Alaskan wilderness as bloodthirsty monsters, intent on killing every survivor of a plane crash by tearing each person limb from limb,” claims PETA, when in actuality wolves “shy away from” humans. Carnahan’s film (scripted by Ian MacKenzie Jeffers from his own short story) takes fairly diligent measures to portray its wolves as agents of nature, dangerous to be sure but with their own reasons for attacking Liam Neeson’s Ottway and his fellow oil rig workers. They’re glimpsed in the dark all glowing eyes and howling breaths and are seen tearing unfortunate victims to bloody pieces, but are they “monsters,” or simply animals acting on their natural impulses to defend their territory from encroaching human invaders? Speaking earlier this month in Los Angeles, Carnahan explained his take on the wolves of The Grey . “I think the wolves are a facet of and thereby a force of nature, but they’re no different in my mind than the river, than the blizzard, than the cliffside,” he said. “They are component parts of a whole, which is nature. And for all of its beauty there’s equal parts hostility.” To this end, every front facing the men of The Grey has the potential for death – the blizzard conditions that fell their airplane, the freezing cold, the river, the harsh terrain. A polar bear, cut from the film, was to have posed a similar threat. Its inclusion may have slightly lessened the weight of the wolves as the film’s only animal foes, but the theme remains the same: It’s not that these things are evil, but that man – stripped of his weapons and the trappings of civilization — can only infringe so far on the dominion of nature and its creatures. Watch The Grey and you come away with a deep respect for these animals and their somewhat anthropomorphized qualities – their intricate pack relations, capacity for loss, and sense for what one character intimates as revenge. Man’s folly is in thinking himself above mortality. Besides: If Carnahan wanted to vilify wolves as his film’s antagonists, a la sharks in Jaws , that would be a matter of creative license. Do you see the Syfy Channel attacked for propagating irresponsible messages about Mega Snakes and Sharktopi? Verdict on this count: Carnahan 1, PETA 0. PETA’s other contention is a bit trickier. According to reports , Carnahan flew in a batch of frozen wolf meat for his cast to munch, Method-style, in preparation for a scene in the film. “[Carnahan] bought the meat from a trapper, meaning that the wolves likely suffered horribly in traps before being killed,” wrote PETA, calling this move a reneging on a promise by the filmmakers to “use only computer-generated imagery and animatronic wolves.” [ UPDATE: The Province spoke to trapper Dick McDiarmid for his account of providing wolf carcasses to the production.] Taking to Twitter, Carnahan shot back . “To suggest otherwise is cheap and uninformed,” he wrote in just one of a series of Tweets on the matter. “Not a single animal was harmed for the making of this film.” [ UPDATE: Carnahan Tweeted directly to Movieline to clarify in plain terms: “…There was no trapping or hunting. We didn’t harm a single wolf in the making of this film.”] And this : “Guys, I donate $100 a month to the Humane Society to prevent canned hunting of all kinds. Protestors. Look up my records & SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Colorful language aside, Carnahan insists that no animals were harmed in the making of the film, but does he escape culpability if said animals were trapped and killed prior to filming by third parties, then utilized in the service of the film? Even if Carnahan didn’t buy the wolf meat to order – if it was in “some guy”’s basement freezer for six months before the cast of The Grey chowed down, having ostensibly been killed for practical reasons – is Carnahan culpable for supporting the kill after the fact? Here’s a note from the American Humane Association (via Box Office Magazine), which did send a certified representative to observe filming but conspicuously did not lend its “No Animals Were Harmed” seal of approval to the credits roll, explaining the omission: “American Humane Association monitored the live animal action during the filming of The Grey . Our Certified Animal Safety RepresentativeTM on the set of the movie ensured the humane treatment of all of the animals used in this film. The movie does not however carry the American Humane Association “No Animals Were Harmed”® end-credit certification. Our process in awarding the end-credit includes a screening of the locked motion picture, which we were not given. Productions must be screened to determine cohesiveness with all of our on-set documentation.” As for the wolf meat accusations, AHA had this to add: “Online allegations regarding the consumption of wolf meat by cast members of The Grey , have not been verified and sources within the production and distribution entities have not returned our phone calls of inquiry. American Humane Association does not permit the trapping and/or killing of any animals for use in filmed entertainment.” Most AHA animal monitoring concerns the use of living animals in productions, but they do have guidelines regarding the use of dead animals , essentially requiring proper documentation and receipts for transactions that proves the animals were “destroyed in the normal course of the source’s operations and were not killed for the production.” So Movieliners, let’s hash this one out. Does PETA have legit ground to stand on with either or both of their complaints against The Grey , or was Carnahan right when he Tweeted the following to his critics: “Wolfaboo wackos. Your insane rants about us killing wolves only makes the movie more of a curiosity and thus, more successful. Keep it up!”? Follow Jen Yamato on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
