Zoe Aggeliki is a hybrid model from Greece and Sweden, because sometimes mixed race doesn’t mean black seed in white or asian uterus, but can mean white seen in white uterus. The interesting thing about this mix is that Swedes have huge tits and Greeks love anal, making her a lot of fun at an all night sex party. She’s been modeling since she was 16. She is 19. Apparently, she’s worked her way in with some producers, probably via her vagina, as that often is the case, and she’s been getting some acting jobs, none of the movies have come out yet, but she was a contender for The Hunger Games, meaning she may be the next big thing in Hollywood in a couple of years. So think of this as a preview, a Glamourous, cleavage filled preview I want to ejaculate all over before it becomes to famous and Hollywood to me, you know never answering my calls, deleting me off facebook, cuz I am a bad look. It’s happened so many times before. I guess we should all go look for her topless modeling shoots, cuz i am sure they exist somewhere, and I am too lazy to look.
Offering a more straight-faced brand of idiocy than its cheerfully dumb 2009 predecessor, G.I. Joe: Retaliation might well have been titled G.I. Joe: Regurgitation , advertising big guns, visual effects and that other line of Hasbro toys with the same joyless, chew-everything-up-and-spit-it-out efficiency. Largely devoid of personality, apart from a few nifty action flourishes courtesy of helmer Jon M. Chu , Paramount’s late-March blockbuster, pushed back from a 2012 release (ostensibly to allow for a 3D conversion), may have trouble matching G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra ’s $302 million worldwide gross. But with no shortage of merchandising and other cross-promotional opportunities, it should still score significant attention from targeted male viewers. Appreciably rougher and grittier in feel than the Stephen Sommers-directed The Rise of Cobra , Retaliation makes any number of ham-fisted bids for topical relevance, and naturally almost every one of them represents an affront to good taste. Among other things, the film is a sort of accidental comedy about nuclear warfare, as much of the silly plot concerns a global summit where the hope of mass disarmament soon gives way to the threat of mass annihilation. Elsewhere, the script (by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick) finds our trusty Joes raiding a North Korean compound shortly before they head to Islamabad, where they wind up framed for the assassination of Pakistan’s president. All this geopolitical mayhem is being orchestrated by the U.S. commander-in-chief (Jonathan Pryce) — or rather, the dastardly doppelganger who’s impersonating him with the aid of super-sophisticated “nanomite” technology (because latex is just a little too Mission: Impossible ). The president’s stand-in is a high-ranking member of Cobra, a secret network of megalomaniacs bent on wiping out the G.I. Joes once and for all, and in the early going, they come perilously close. Tatum Channing’s Screen Time Is Brief Probably aware that no one in the audience could possibly care about any sense of continuity with The Rise of Cobra and its eminently forgettable characters, the filmmakers have opted to retain just a few key players this time around. In what feels like an odd miscalculation given the actor’s recent popularity, Channing Tatum’s Duke is around for only about 10 minutes to pass the baton to a fresh G.I. Joe unit led by the physically imposing Roadblock ( Dwayne Johnson ) and rounded out by Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), both of whom evince far less charisma than the military-grade weapons provided them by Gen. Joe Colton ( Bruce Willis , phoning it in). Actor To Watch: Byung-hyun Lee Providing a bit more interest is the Joes’ ninja faction, chiefly Snake Eyes (Ray Park), whose inexpressive mask stands in marked contrast to the piercing gaze of his longtime nemesis, white-clad swordfighter Storm Shadow ( Korean star Byung-hyun Lee ). Along with newcomer Jinx (Elodie Yung), these returning characters figure prominently into the picture’s finest moment, a fight scene in the Himalayas that employs wirework and stereoscopy to highly vertiginous effect. The visual grace of this sequence is no surprise coming from Chu, who demonstrated a real flair for staging in the two Step Up pics he directed. But as in those movies, sustaining a narrative or transcending a patchy script seem beyond his abilities. One of the least savory aspects of the franchise is the unseemly pleasure it takes in the wholesale destruction of foreign cities, which goes hand-in-hand with its jingoistic portrait of American military might. Audiences who thrilled to the sight of Paris under biochemical attack in Cobra will be pleased to watch London endure an even more horrific fate here, although the sequence is tossed off in quick, almost ho-hum fashion, with no time to dwell on anything so exquisitely crass as the spectacle of the Eiffel Tower collapsing. Meatheaded and derivative as it is, G.I. Joe: Retaliation is hardly the nadir, as hollow corporate products go; certainly it’s nowhere near as aggressively off-putting as the Transformers movies, the other action-figure adaptations in the Hasbro universe. The dialogue has improved markedly since the earlier outing, and the lensing and editing, while hardly models of coherence, just about manage to avoid excessive jumpiness. Andrew Menzies’ production design, with sets standing in for everything from a Tokyo skyscraper to a Nepalese monastery, proves resourceful within the confines of a largely New Orleans-shot production. With the exceptions of the often mesmerizing Lee and the ever-reliable Johnson, the performances are merely serviceable. Follow Movieline on Twitter .
With Judith Hill now wowing them on The Voice , it’s a good time to check out her history as a back-up singer with none other than the late Michael Jackson . Hill is one of the golden voices featured in Morgan Neville’s documentary, Twenty Feet From Stardom , which had great buzz at Sundance and will be released theatrically by Radius TWC on June 14. If Hill goes all the way on the TV competition it could sweeten the box office for Neville’s film. In the meantime, the trailer features Hill discusses being a part of Jackson’s final This Is It tour and the shock of learning that the King of Pop had died. Twenty Feet From Stardom also features such revered singers as Darlene Love, Merry Clayton, Lisa Fischer and Tata Vega. Judith Hill Discusses The Shock Of Michael Jackson’s Death Hill’s Killer Audition On The Voice: More on Twenty Feet From Stardom : SUNDANCE REVIEW: Back-up Singers Take Center Stage In Rousing, Intimate ‘Twenty Feet From Stardom’ Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
There’s yet another Iron Man 3 TV spot making the rounds, and, like the international TV spot I wrote about on Monday, it leaves the distinct impression that Ben Kingsley has dialed back the affected voice he was using in his portrayal of the Mandarin . How Kingsley Dialed Back The Mandarin’s Vocal Acrobatics In this clip, Kingsley, in voiceover, uses his signature line, “You’ll never see me coming,” but this time he doesn’t lead-foot the l’s and r’s. Instead, he breaks up the sentence with dramatic pauses, so he sounds appropriately dangerous as opposed to dangerous and destined to be a recurring Saturday Night Live character. Check out the second clip for Kingsley’s original reading of the line. A Disney spokeswoman still hasn’t gotten back to me on whether a conscious decision was made to change the downplay the Mandarin’s vocal acrobatics. If that ever happens, I’ll update. Marvel Studios Chief Kevin Feige Plays Superhero Shrink For Tony Stark: In other Iron Man 3 news, Marvel Studios Production President Kevin Feige plays superhero shrink in an “Under The Armor” interview at Marvel.com and sheds some light on Tony Stark’s mindset going into the movie. Noting that this latest installment in the Iron Man saga takes place after the events of The Avengers Feige says: “Not only did he encounter all of those crazy characters with hammers and capes and shields and gamma-irradiated strength, but a portal to another world opened above his head. Tony Stark is a very scientifically minded guy who thought he was at the cutting edge of science, and suddenly learned in those brief moments at the end of “Marvel’s The Avengers,” that there is an infinite amount that he doesn’t know. I think that made him feel small in a certain way and I think even encountering those other super heroes in “Marvel’s The Avengers” made him feel like he was not the most powerful person in the world, which I think Tony likes to feel like he is. He may be the smartest person in the world, but not necessarily the most powerful. So when we meet him at the beginning of “Iron Man 3,” he’s using the suit as a shell almost. It is a shell to shield himself from all of this new information, this new influx of reality that is crashing around him. At the same time, as tends to happen in good movies, another villain arises. And suddenly, when he’s sort of at a state where he’d much rather stay in his lab and work on his suits, something happens that forces him to get out of his house, to get out of his lab and even in some cases, get out of the suit, to confront this new evil.” More on Iron Man 3 & the Mandarin: WATCH: Pepper Dons Armor & The Mandarin Sheds Weird Dialect In International ‘Iron Man 3’ Clip Marvel Studios Says Iron Man 3 Villain The Mandarin Isn’t Chinese, He’s International ‘Iron Man 3’ Director Spills On The Mandarin & He Sounds Like….Mike Ovitz? [ Marvel.com ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Not too much to see on DVD and Blu-ray this week, with only a couple of solid skinema flicks hitting the shelves. First up, Marion Cotillard plays a marine park worker who loses her legs in a killer whale accident in Rust and Bone (2012). That doesn’t sound like a sexy time at the movies, but thankfully Marion exposes her perfectly unharmed 3 B’s, plus bonus nudity from Oc
Don’t be surprised if the whole Ben Affleck for Senator? media frenzy gets revived in a few years. I just read Deadline’s report that Warner Bros. has closed a deal for Nathaniel Philbrick’s historical tale, Bunker Hill: A City, A Siege, A Revolution , which will be published in April, and it sure sounds like a great project for a filmmaker who’s toyed with the idea of public office. Ben Affleck Running For Senate? You may remember that Affleck’s name came up last December as a potential replacement for Massachusetts Senator John Kerry’s seat when President Obama appointed Kerry Secretary of State. Affleck, who was out promoting Argo for awards season didn’t exactly deny the speculation at first. When asked about his potential candidacy by Bob Schieffer on Face the Nation , his reply was, “One never knows.” But then, on Christmas Eve, Affleck wrote on his Facebook page : “I love Massachusetts and our political process, but I am not running for office,” although he added that he would continue to be active with the Eastern Congo Initiative, a charity he founded to promote peaceful development. Who knows if Massachusetts will even need a candidate if — and when — the movie adaptation of Bunker Hill hits cineplexes, but it certainly has the trappings of a Lincoln -style movie with one exception: Affleck, unlike Steven Spielberg , has got the juice to seal the deal on a Best Picture win and, after he was snubbed by the Academy for Argo, will probably be a shoo-in for future Best Director nominations. About Bunker Hill : Ben Affleck’s New Film Project Here’s how Deadline’s Mike Fleming Jr. describes Philbrick’s story: Affleck, who until Argo had directed movies in the Boston backdrop where he grew up, is going home again as Bunker Hill is hailed as the battle that lit the fuse for the American Revolution in 1775. The unease between Bostonians and British troops turned violent after the Boston Tea Party, when violent sieges erupted in Lexington and Concord and a British blockade led to outright war in the Battle of Bunker Hill, a bloody clash that united the colonies and started the war for independence. The story is told from a group of participants, including a 33-year-old physician named Joseph Warren, who becomes a leader of the Patriot cause; Paul Revere, George Washington, British General Thomas Gage, and others. From Bunker Hill to Capitol Hill? With Affleck, it’s not out of the realm. [ Deadline ] More Ben Affleck Senate Run News: Ben Affleck Is Not Senate Bound [UPDATED] Ben Affleck For Senator? He And His Rep Aren’t Denying It Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
News of Lindsay Lohan’s plea deal puts her one step closer to a comeback. Back in February, I wrote that if Lohan could avoid going to jail over charges of reckless driving and lying to police and reinstitute some self-discipline into her life, her raw performance in Paul Schrader’s The Canyons could mark the beginning of her redemption as an actress. Details of Lindsay Lohan’s Plea Deal As of this afternoon, Lohan can check off that first box on what could be the path back to a productive acting career worthy of her talent. As USA Today reported, she and her legal team, led by Mark Jay Heller, struck a plea deal with prosecutors in which the Herbie Fully Loaded actress will do 90 days in a lockdown rehab facility and 30 days of community service. She’ll also undergo psychological counseling for 18 months. The newspaper reported that, following Lohan’s court date, Heller told reporters outside the Los Angeles Superior Courthouse, “I am very confident that you won’t be seeing Lindsay Lohan in any criminal courts any time in the future.” He also explained why Lohan took the plea deal: “At the conclusion of this case, Lindsay will have a completely clean record. And I think that’s an extremely important element to this case.” The Canyons Director Paul Schrader’s Reaction To LiLo’s Sentence When I first heard about the outcome, I emailed Schrader to get his reaction. When I interviewed him for post I wrote in February, the Affliction director hinted that he was interested in working again with Lohan. (The New York Times reported that Schrader was interested in casting in the lead role for a remake of Gloria, — about a mob moll and a six-year-old boy being chased by hitmen and law-enforcement officials — that originally starred the great Gena Rowlands.) The filmmaker’s response was cautiously optimistic. Schrader wrote he and his wife, actress Mary Beth Hurt, had dinner with Lohan last week at Minetta Tavern in Greenwich Village. Lohan, he wrote, “saw the film again and is enthusiastic to promote it. There will be international festival appearances in the future which she hopes to attend. We also discussed future work but, for now, we wait and see how the plea bargain plays out.” One Lingering Cause For Concern: Lindsay’s Dad, Michael Lohan Sounds promising. Now, if only Lohan could put more distance between her and her attention-starved father who seems to have no shame about turning his daughter’s legal woes into a press opportunities for himself. Here’s what USA Today reported about Daddy’s post plea-deal performance: Heller was quickly chased away from the press conference by Lohan’s father, Michael, who was present during the hearing. Michael Lohan then took to the microphones and proceeded to bash Heller, accusing him of not keeping Lindsay posted on negotiations. Michael said that Heller needs to “stop using Lindsay to make money and a name for himself.” However, the actress’ father did say that the sentence to rehab would probably be a good thing for her. Papa Lohan is doing a bit of projecting here. Someone should get him a muzzle. [ USA Today ] More on Lindsay Lohan: Light of Day: ‘The Canyons’ Could Save Lindsay Lohan’s Career What People Are Missing In The NY Times Story On Lindsay Lohan Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
I’ve never seen the Star Wars movies…..I know….how can a guy this socially awkward, who runs a website…and sits on a computer all day…not watch virgin nerd shit….I mean everyone from the late 70s saw the shit…but I was too poor to go to the movies and didn’t give a fuck then and don’t give a fuck now…. But I do love me a good conspiracy theory…and I do know that people like you are really into Star Wars and this shit will be fucking porno to you and that is why I’m sharing… The things I do to keep you assholes happy….is beyond me.
‘I watched all of his movies with my mom … and I wanted to be a part of it,’ Gomez says of mom being a fan of director Harmony Korine. By Jocelyn Vena, with reporting by Josh Horowitz Selena Gomez in “Spring Breakers” Photo: Muse Productions
Those who remain convinced that The Onion ‘s controversial Oscar-night tweet about Quvenzhané Wallis was really about the Beasts of the Southern Wild star and not about Hollywood hypocrisy should check out the below tweet from comedian and filmmaker Paul Provenza . Last week, I posted The Aristocrats director’s thoughtful deconstruction of The Onion’s joke, why it wasn’t about Wallis and why the fake news organization’s subsequent apology was problematic. The story got a lot of reaction and, in the wake of yesterday’s announcement that Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio had been elected the new leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis I , Provenza took the opportunity to riff on The Onion brouhaha, and to drive home the point that the joke is not about whoever is named being a cunt. Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that new pope is kind of a cunt, right? @ TheOnion — Paul Provenza (@PaulProvenza) March 13, 2013 If you disagree and your ears are smoking like the Sistine Chapel’s chimney, sound off in the comments section below. More on The Onion controversy: ‘The Aristocrats’ Director Paul Provenza: The Onion’s Apology To Quvenzhané Wallis Was ‘Problematic’ Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
