Tag Archives: queen-elizabeth

Prince Philip Survives Car Crash at 97, Undergoes Breathalyzer Test

Posted on January 17, 2019 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Obviously, his wife, Queen Elizabeth II, has been at center stage for the entirety of their 72-year marriage, but if you’ve ever watched The Crown , you know that Prince Philip is quite the badass in his own right. And in case you were unaware, homie flipped his Land Rover and walked away from the accident at age 97 today just to prove it to you. Yes, Philip was involved in a two-car accident near the Royal Family’s Sandringham Estate this afternoon. Amazingly, he was unharmed, despite the fact that the Land Rover he was driving was overturned in the wreck. The news was confirmed moments ago by Buckingham Palace officials. “The Duke of Edinburgh was involved in a road traffic accident with another vehicle on Thursday afternoon,” reads the official statement. “The Duke was not injured. The accident took place close to the Sandringham Estate. Local police attended the scene.” A number of British gossip outlets are having a field day with the fact that Philip was breathalyzed after the accident. While that’s true, police were just following standard procedure, and Philip’s test turned up negative. (The other driver was also tested.) So Philip definitely was not drinking and driving, and while we’re certainly not advocating that sort of behavior, it would’ve been kind of cool if he’d been cruising around under the legal limit but with a Guinness in the cupholder. C’mon, he’s 97! Plus, it might have been good for the historically rocky relations between the Irish and the Brits. Philip is retired from public life these days, and there have been rumors that he’s struggling with health issues, particularly after he failed to join the Queen at Christmas Day church services. But now, it seems that Phil was just cruising around and getting his Rover up on two wheels like he’s on Top Gear or some such bollocks. We kid — but obviously there’s nothing funny about a 97-year-old monarch flipping his whip. Of course, that’s easy to say after you just spent 300 words joking around about it. But in all seriousness, this is only a laughing matter because no one was injured. We wish Philip many more years of terrorizing his fellow motorists in the English countryside.

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Prince Charles: Meghan Markle Is WAY Cooler Than Kate Middleton!

Posted on November 2, 2018 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Well, it’s official. Pretty much everyone on the planet agrees that Meghan Markle is the coolest of the Royals. That’s not a knock against Kate Middleton or anyone else who may have been in the running. (To be clear: Prince William never stood a chance.) In fact, Kate deserves credit for recognizing that her association with Meghan only serves to make her cooler. She’s like the Scottie Pippen to Meghan’s Michael Jordan, eternally content to play second fiddle and bask in the glow of a living legend. There are probably several good reasons that no one has previously used a ’90s NBA metaphor to describe the pecking order of the British Royal Family, but we’re standing by our sh-tty analogy. Anyway, you might be wondering who decides this hierarchy, and there’s no clear answer. For the most part, we suppose it’s the British public and the tabloid press, but there are also voters in this popularity contest whose ballots are weighted far more heavily than those of the plebes. These people are super-delegates in the world’s most inconsequential election — Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, and … well, we guess that’s about it, actually. It’s been rumored for quite some time that QE2 prefers Harry and Meghan to the “lazy” William and Kate . And now, it seems Charles is seconding that opinion: According to a new profile in Vanity Fair , Charles likes to throw subtle shade at Will and Kate . He often boasts, for example, that at the age of 68, he’s quicker on his feet and better “prepared” for most social functions than either of them. Conversely, both he and wife Camilla Parker-Bowles are often effusive in their praise for Meghan. “They clearly really like each other,” one royal insider tells the magazine. “There is real warmth and support. Camilla has been very helpful to Meghan.” That’s gotta sting a little bit, but we’re sure Will and Kate are taking it in stride. After all, Will never had a shot at being the cool one in the family, and the Duchess of Cambridge reportedly gets along swimmingly with her new sister-in-law. In fact, Kate is hosting Meghan’s baby shower — and insiders say she’s more than happy to continue dishing out assists after the royal bundle of joy arrives. View Slideshow: Meghan Markle Baby Bump Watch: Is She Showing Yet?

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Little People, Big World: 19 Shocking Scandals… Exposed!

Posted on June 30, 2018 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The Roloffs are not the Kardashians. We mostly tune in to Little People, Big World each week because we want to see a bunch of relatives interact who basically just enjoy each other's company. They don't fight. They don't exploit each other. There's very little drama and almost no controversy. ALMOST , we said. Over the years, various members of this close-knit family have had run-ins with the law, clashes with social media users and taken part in other scandalous affairs that may come as a surprise. We still love Matt, Amy and company. As you are about to find out, however, they are not perfect… 1. Jacob Dropped Out of High School And he didn’t do so quietly, either, engaging on Twitter with someone who gave him props to his “high intellect,” but critcized him for dropping out in protest of public institutions, to which Jacob replied: “If you can tell my intellectual level with me not having finished formal high school, why do I still need it? Just to say so?” He added that he had a “hard time being excited” for his friends going to a four-year college. “I think you could learn a lot more for a lot less.” 2. Matt Got Arrested for Drunk Driving The incident took place in 2007, after he was stopped near his home for swerve in and out and his lane. Six months after the arrest, he was found not guilty in court. 3. Jeremy the… Bigot? Way back in 2008, Jeremy Roloff was accused of writing racist and homophobic messages on his MySpace account. The situation was brought to everyone’s attention by the National Enquirer story excerpted above. The messages at the time insulted African-Americans, Mexicans and gay people. 4. Jacob the… Drug User? We can’t say this one is too stunning, but Jacob once Tweeted: “Who doesn’t suck at selling weed Hmu.” That acronym stands for Hit Me Up. 5. Roloff Farms… Sued? Yes. In 2011, a Washington woman named Linda Farrall alleged that she was injured due to a fall from a picnic pavilion at the property. She sued the Roloffs for negligence and the case was settled out of court. 6. Jacob Accuses Producers of… Stealing? Always an outspoken individual, Jacob publicly claimed in 2015 that he was getting ripped off from his time on the series. “Man I wish it didn’t feel like I was getting f-ced out of the money from the show that was my childhood right now,” he said back then. View Slideshow

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Little People, Big World: 19 Shocking Scandals… Exposed!

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Kate Middleton Trash-Talks Meghan Markle Daily (Report)

Posted on June 30, 2018 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Ever since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry , there have been rumors about the former actress struggling to fit in with the royals. These reports were inevitable of course, but they’ve been somewhat more vicious and persistent than we anticipated. Insiders (or people purporting to be insiders, or tabloid columnists writing as imaginary insiders) claim that Meghan has breached royal protocol several times in her six weeks as a Duchess. Naturally, these folks insist that the Queen is not happy with Meg’s performance thus far. Kate Middleton, on the other hand, is reportedly loving every minute of it. A source tells the never-reliable Star magazine that Kate has been “gleefully watching Meghan’s blunders from the sidelines.”  Those blunders include such egregious offenses as wearing a dress that didn’t cover her shoulders. Oh, and let’s not forget the time that Meghan tried to hold Harry’s hand in public! We’re still clutching our pearls over that one. Apparently, Kate is supposed to be helping Meghan out with all this confusing nonsense, but when the time came to lend a hand to her fellow lapsed peasant, she was all like, nah: “You’d think that as a fellow commoner, she’d be sympathetic to how Meghan is struggling, but Kate feels threatened by Meghan’s popularity,” the insider reveals. “Kate takes potshots at Meghan every chance she gets and makes a point to tell the queen about all the things Meghan is doing wrong.” Oh, what we would give to hear Kate flex that stiff upper lip to spit some royal zingers. “Ay bish, you used to be on Suits but you couldn’t find a tailor for that baggy-ass wedding dress?” “I heard you were a model on Deal on No Deal . Maybe you should’ve said no deal to that fugly hat, nahmean?”” And so forth. Anyway, it all sounds very far-fetched, but this isn’t the first report we’ve heard that Kate and Meg aren’t exactly beasties: “Kate feels like Meghan has barely made any effort with her and is more interested in impressing [Queen Elizabeth],” a source recently told some tabloid called Closer Weekly . “Kate feels left out. She spent years working on her image as ‘the perfect royal,’ and Meghan is stealing her thunder,”  Yes, a real feud might be taking place among the duchesses. If only we could convince them to star in a reality show about their classy beef. View Slideshow: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry: The Best Reactions to the Royal Wedding!

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Sarah Ferguson’s Upskirt of the Day

Posted on September 13, 2017 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I am getting old and clunky in my “reporting” which makes sense because all this shit bores me and after 40,000 posts no one cares about over the last 14 years, I am pretty much beat up and broken down…a lot like Fergie’s (the real Fergie, the Fergie Fergie Took her name from Fergie) vagina…that she’s so generously kept covered up in this weird panty flash that happened last week and that I slept on…even though I know the UK Royal Family is the answer to tabloid fodder..maybe it’d be my big break if the Daily Mail didn’t post it 3 seconds after it happened by one of their interns they have on 24 hour a day call…right…right… Well, she was married to Queen Elizabeth’s son that wasn’t Charles…and now she’s out flashing panties for the paparazzi…I guess not on the Queen’s bad side…a better place to be than Princess Diana…who had a different relationship with the paparazzi who fucking killed her…not just her dignity…by releasing whatever the fuck this is… The post Sarah Ferguson’s Upskirt of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepFather.com .

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Kate Middleton to World: See? I Do Real Work!

Posted on March 8, 2017 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

In terms of work ethic, not a whole lot is expected from the royal family. Sure, as symbols of their nation, its history, and its diplomatic relations with the rest of the world, they have a lot of weight on their shoulders, but if you put in as many hours as your job as they do at theirs, you’d be canned by the end of the week. The royals have never exactly been a callus-handed lot, but some believe they do less work now than they ever have before. And those critics have the numbers to prove it. Prince William and Kate Middleton have participated in far fewer royal engagements than their predecessors in recent years, and even 90-year-old Queen Elizabeth II puts in more hours than these two. The situation has led to Will and Kate being called the ” laziest royals ” in UK history. The couple has reportedly bristled against accusations that they spend the bulk of their time seated on their royal arses, and sources say they’re eager for the chance to prove that they too can work hard (by royal standards). Now, it seems the opportunity they’ve been looking for has been provided by last year’s conclusive evidence that folks in the UK are just as capable of voting against their own best interests as those of on this side of the pond. We’re talking, of course, about Brexit . Yes, Brexit: or as we like to call it, “Donald Trump of referendums.” We won’t get into the political implications of the UK’s decision to withdraw from the EU, except to say it’s gonna result in a big old international mess. And the task of cleaning up that mess will fall, in part, to Will and Kate. The royal couple was already planning a European summer tour (think the Rolling Stones, but with fewer guitar and more painfully forced smiles), but now their planned visits to France, Poland, and Germany have taken on added importance, what with the world ending and all. Nasty business, that. According to several UK media outlets, Will and Kate will engage in a sort of “soft diplomacy” as part of an effort to convince foreign leaders that their British people still very much value their friendship. “They’re very much seen as unofficial Brexit ambassadors,” a source tells the Mirror. So it sounds like Windsors have a busy summer ahead of them. The bad news is, any plans for a third Kate pregnancy will have to likely be delayed until at least fall.’ The good news is, they’re helping to throw some thimbles full of water onto the raging dumpster fire that we call “humanity in 2017.” Good luck, you guys! View Slideshow: Kate Middleton: 15 Photos of Iconic Hair Porn

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Kate Middleton: Too Vain! Only Cares About Her Appearance!

Posted on May 5, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

First of all, the Photoshop job on this cover is terrible. Second of all, someone at Celebrity Dirty Laundry must be either jealous or deeply offended by the Duchess of Cambridge’s appearance, because they are ruthless with their story on the OK! cover. “Kate Middleton’s obsession with diet and exercise has Prince William concerned the Duchess of Cambridge is much, much too vain,” Celebrity Dirty Laundry alleges. “It’s all about appearances for Kate, who thinks she’s some kind of movie star and supermodel. “Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker-Bowles are disgusted with this superficial cover girl and her commoner standards.” OK !’s latest issue lifted a photo from a tennis workshop engagement Catherine took part in back in February (and colored it pink), and plopped it against a photo of Buckingham Palace. And while “sources” in the story insist that Catherine doesn’t “starve” herself to be thin, CDL gripes that “deep down William knows he is now stuck with a wife who has horrible low class Hollywood values.” “The second-in-line to the throne probably wishes he had married an aristocrat who understands the duties of a Royal wife,” the story claims. View Slideshow: 17 Photos Of Kate Middleton Looking Smug as Heck Catherine has always been very athletic; she’s said to love yoga, running, tennis and skiing in particular.   “Even if it’s just 15 minutes, [Kate] does something to get her heart pumping every day,” a source told the magazine. The OK! story also highlights her dedication to organic cooking for her family (lean meats, vegetables and fruit), which CDL claims is a cover for what she really does. “Rather take on serious charity work as Princess Diana did, Kate Middleton’s days are filled with extreme dieting and exercising between trips to the plastic surgeon for a nip here and a tuck there,” CDL writes. “This future Queen is ridiculously self-absorbed and has no idea how to exemplify the Royal values of duty to crown and country, hard work and self-sacrifice. “Insiders try to pass of the superficial values by saying Kate just wants to be healthy and make certain Prince William, Prince George, and Princess Charlotte are too.” Someone needs a hug.  And maybe a sedative. View Slideshow: 11 Photos of Kate Middleton Looking Sporty and Perfect Because DUH

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Camilla Makes The Queen Try Botox, Gets "Banished" From The Palace!

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I can’t.  I literally CANNOT. A few of you know that I dabble in royal studies , so I’d like to think I’m a credible source when it comes to separating fact from fiction. The stories on Celebrity Dirty Laundry never disappointment it when it comes to outrageous rumors, to the point where I think, “Wow.  You guys should write for The Royals .” Today I came across a story that involved the Queen, the Duchess of Cornwall and Botox.  What a trio! According to CDL , Camilla is such a fan of Botox that she convinced Her Majesty, who will turn 90 in April, to give it a go . This is a sovereign who, if feeling ill, will pop two Tylenol and take a brisk walk in the Scottish Highlands instead of a nap.  Volunteering for a Botox injection doesn’t sound like something the Queen would be keen on. It’s alleged that both Camilla and the Duchess of Cambridge pop round to Dr. Feel Good every now and then to smooth out their wrinkles. A source claims that “Duchess Camilla believed that passing along this information to Queen Elizabeth would be a great way to claw her way back into Queen Elizabeth’s good graces.” It appears that Camilla informed the Queen that Botox had “virtually no side effects,” so Her Majesty “ordered the Royal dermatologist” to the palace, who administered a needle here and there over a six-month period. Well, thanks to Camilla’s helpful advice, Her Majesty can “barely move her jaw to speak. Now, it’s also difficult for [Queen Elizabeth] to chew food. And smiling is out of the question.” Camilla’s punishment?  “Banished from Buckingham Palace.” Catherine is reportedly furious at Camilla for causing her granny-in-law pain, but is also psyched because it puts her ahead of Camilla in the non-existent popularity contest. While I have no idea if Camilla and Catherine get Botox injections, I can’t imagine that the Queen would be convinced to give it a go.   Her Majesty is not a vain woman, and never has been.  She does her own hair and makeup, was brought up in an era of austerity, and gets countless wears out of her outfits. Both Camilla and Catherine do get facials from Heaven Skincare founder, Deborah Mitchell, creator of the famous “bee venom mask” that works as a natural face-lift by tightening and cleaning the skin. Mitchell has called Camilla the “kindest, kindest person.” Beyond that, it’s anyone’s guess how both royal women treat their face.   View Slideshow: 12 Photos Of Kate Middleton Looking Regal as He*k

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Kate Middleton: Poised As Heck on Remembrance Sunday

Posted on November 8, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Today in London, the royal family gathered to honor fallen soldiers during “Remembrance Sunday,” which takes place on the second Sunday of every November. Queen Elizabeth II led the tribute at the Cenotaph, an “empty tomb” to honor those whose remains did not make it home from battle.   This year, Her Majesty was joined by King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima of the Netherlands to commemorate the 70th anniversary of the British liberation of Holland. While Her Majesty, Prince Harry and Prince William laid poppy wreaths at the memorial, the Duchess of Cambridge watched from the balcony of government building Whitehall, alongside Maxima and the Countess of Wessex , who is married to the Queen’s youngest son, Prince Edward. Catherine wore a custom-made Alexander McQueen coat for the ceremony, according to What Kate Wore , along with pearl-drop earrings from jeweler Annoushka and a hat with delicate black netting. Remembrance Sunday is a pretty remarkable event; two minutes of silence are observed, the “Last Post” is played, and veterans march by the Cenotaph to remember those lost in battle. Last night, William and Catherine (wearing a lace dress by Dolce & Gabbana) joined the Queen at the Royal Albert Hall for the annual Festival of Remembrance, also put on to honor veterans, which featured performances by Rod Stewart and Andrea Bocelli .  Read more about Remembrance Sunday here .

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Queen Elizabeth II: Caught Giving Nazi Salute!!!!!!

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

ROYAL FAMILY SCANDAL ALERT! Queen Elizabeth II has been caught on camera clearly giving the infamous Nazi salute popularized by Adolf Hitler and his cronies. But there’s a pretty big catch: The incident took place in 1933. When Elizabeth was seven years old. British tabloid The Sun actually tried to make this a story in its latest issue, covering its front page with a still image from a 17-second video it obtained and writing as a headline: “Their Royal Heil nesses.” The newspaper’s official Twitter account then wrote as a message: “Secret 1933 film shows Edward VIII teaching Nazi salute to Queen.” As you might expect, many critics called out The Sun for trying to turn a child’s gesture (which took place prior to Hitler truly becoming Hitler , of course) into a scandal. “If the Queen does another Nazi Salute let me know about it. Until then…she was 7 and it didn’t even have it’s eventual context. Not news,” Ricky Gervais Tweeted in response, speaking for anyone with a brain. The comedian went on to say: “I wish all those headlines ‘Ricky Gervais defends The Queen’ more accurately read ‘Ricky Gervais defends the actions of a 7 year old child.” How has The Sun defended its actions? “These images have lain hidden for 82 years. We publish them today, knowing they do not reflect badly on our Queen, her late sister or mother in any way. “They do, however, provide a fascinating insight into the warped prejudices of Edward VIII and his friends in that bleak, paranoid, tumultuous decade.” So, really, supposedly, this is a scandal about Edward VIII and not the eventual Queen? Got it. Either way: WHO CARES?!?

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